So I thought we might somehow get out of that basement if we could convince the frat boys to let us play with three bottles. I know that plan doesn't make a whole lot of sense in the light of day, but in the moment, I don't know. I thought maybe we could spray them down and wrestle the keg tap away from them. Something like that. After what they did to Steve, it seemed like the only option we had.
I kept saying to Nicky, "Look, you can drink in the basement or you can die in the pit. So put the tube in your face and you push the cartoonishly oversized green beer bottle button so we can go home!"
Only the plan didn't work. After twenty or thirty rounds, things got a little fuzzy. Steve and I made it out.
As for Nicky, I just don't know.
The product is well made out of brightly colored durable plastic and the button mechanisms worked perfectly. The price is good and if you buy some other stuff, I don't know. Maybe you might qualify for Super Saver shipping.
The only reason I can't give it five stars is that there is a very high likelihood that this product might cause your utter psychological destruction and transform an otherwise healthy man into a soulless husk with empty, empty eyes that seem to be locked on the distant horizon of an emotional wasteland that contains nothing but the wreckage of everything they once held dear.
I will find you, Nicky. OK? I will bring you home.