Customer Reviews

The Bare Wench Project

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Yes, I should have known better. I stumbled across this film on a movie channel late one night and for some reason thought this might be an interesting parody of "The Blair Witch Project." Four sorority sisters head into the mountains to do a class video project on the legendary Bare Wench and I immediately start rethinking my working hypothesis on what is up with this film. There is Nikki Fritz as Nikki, Julie K. Smith as Chloe, Lorissa McComas as Lori, and Antonia Dorian as Toni. Fritz, star of "A Ferret in My Bathwater" (how on Earth did I ever miss that one?) is the lead character here, with more brains than the rest of the group put together, a fact which is proven repeatedly. As their faithful idiot companion is Lenny Juliano as Lunk, who gets ample opportunity to leer at four pairs of bare breasts but not much else. Julie Strain makes an appearance as the title character who inspires lust in those who climb her mountain at the film's less than thrilling climax.

There are two reasons for seeing this film and neither one of them really pans out. There are lots of scenes of the girls running around topless and rubbing up against each other, but nothing particularly memorable. The specific parody elements consist of finding sex toys out in the woods, an obvious twist on the famous camera shot of Heather, and the game of hopscotch. Most of the film is shot with a hand held camera, in the spirit of the original, which at one point when everyone is running screaming through the woods actually made me physicall ill. I stuck around for the end to see how lame the final punch line was going to be and discovered that the funniest and best part of the movie are the end credits, which have outtakes of the bonfire scene. It seems that no power on earth can get Antonia Dorian to say the line "I used a piece of paper." Watch it in total amazement as she gets the line wrong time after time, and if she is even in the ballpark, immediately messes up the next line. Finally you hear director Jim Wynroski, having given her the line several times, laugh and say, "I'm just going to put all of this at the end of the film. It's going to be two-and-a-half hours long." Thankfully, this is not the case.

FYI: Apparently there are sequels to this 1999 film: "Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless" (which is, I guess, the same as "Book of Babes: Bare Wench 2) from 2001 and the upcoming "Bare Wench Project 3: Nymphs of Mystery Mountain." Consider this fair warning.

This movie couldn't be more sexy or more hilarious. I liked The Blair Witch Project but this movie was a lot more fun & easy on the eye. Nikki,Julie & Lorissa are absolute knockouts! The other girl was not to shabby either. Even girls that are not to uptight about watching T&A movies will find it very funny. Sorry Heather Donahue but, Nikki Fritz out did you on this sleeper. Even the guy called Lunk was funny. If you like any of the four girls in this show you will want to own this soon to be classic. The part where Julie does the(I'm sorry for everything scene) is worth the price!

If you are looking for a few girls to flash their tops for a few seconds and then the camera focusing on this really fat ugly comedic character, this may be the movie for you. The camera is hardly ever on the girls more than a few seconds and the strip scene is ruined by it beinf shot in the dark and through a huge roaring fire. Do not waste your time with this movie. There are much better ones of this genre out there.

The parody does an excellent job from beginning to end. The "no map, no food, no clothes" tag accurately describes the mood of the film. Hey, people: Bare Wench is a fun summer movie! It's not supposed to be a heavy film. Maybe, it's over the top sometimes--or sometimes top-heavy! The plot: Four sorority babes and a guy go hunting in the woods. It may make guys watching it wish they had the same luck as the lone guy in the Bare Wench Project. But, for one thing, it won't make you as dizzy as some parts of Blair Witch. In the hot and humid summertime, you need a video like this to have a fun time. It may not cool you down. It'll probably heat you up! Either way, you should check out this parody of last year's surprise hit. It will make more sense if you have already seen The Blair Witch Project. So, buy or rent both--you'll be equally scared and comically entertained by guys and girls in the woods!

If you want a fun night of watching titillating television, then this is the movie for you! It's the ultimate T&A Fest 2000 - and it blows away the Blair Witch Project! It stars me (Nikki Fritz.com) Julie Strain, Lorissa McComas, Julie K Smith, Antonia Dorian and Lenny Juliano - and it is hilarious! We're shooting part #2 in a few weeks, so start your collection with this one!

I've seen a lot of B-rated movies in my short life. It seems every new one gets cornier and cornier but I tell the truth when I say this movie was a breath of fresh air. I liked the blair witch project. I think it was a stoke of genius and a benchmark in independent film. The Bare Wench Project however takes this one step further by taking the good parts of Blair Witch and making them better by adding things men (aka: Howard Stern clones) enjoy. Adding an All-Star line up made this movie a must see for guys who like movies, not to mention that God broke the mold when he made Lorissa McComas. I tell you fellas, she made me glad I'm a man. The perfect combination of beauty, innocence, and curiosity make her an angel. Just be glad when you purchase this movie that you are witnessing the next best thing to watching Michael Jordan play live from courtside. Lorissa is a little slice of heaven. The other women are beautiful as well, but Lorissa is heavenly. Until next time...

I have to say that the Blair Witch Project is one of my all time favorite movies and when I saw that this was out I thought to myself "why not get it and check it out" and I can say that I am glad that I did. If you like the kind of movie that has nothing but T&A all the way through it then get this movie, don't get it thinking it is a masterpiece cause it is not and the only part that I hated was the one girl in it that all she does is talk and whine about going skinny dipping, not that there is anything wrong with that but it does get a little annoying. So if you are looking for a fun movie with good looking women and lots of T&A then pick this one up, you won't regret it.

Bare Wench is another softcore parody of the Blair Witch project (I think there's about two dozen of those things out there). It has 5 very attractive women (which includes Nikki Fritz, Julie Smith, and Julie Strain), and one dorky guy whose only purpose is to provide comic relief.

Okay, so I'm thinking "Cool. Great looking women, having softcore lesbian sex with each other very 10 minutes or so. This should be real good."

Unfortunately, the producers blew it. There is nothing in this video that actually qualifies as a sex scene. There's a couple of false starts, but the majority of the action is just the women posing for the camera. I guess once the producers had spent their money on the women, and spent more getting them to remove their clothes, they didn't have any money left to get them to actually do anything. And I guess they also used up all their alloted nudity time too early, because towards the end of the video, there is a huge amount of pointless dialogue that is obviously being used for no other reason than to pad out the run time. "You're a liar! No you are! You go into the cave! No you go! I think we should go home! Well, I don't!" This goes on and on and on forever.

There's way better stuff than this.

This is a straight-forward but silly and lame parody of the Blair Witch Project. It gets the camcorder look of the original right, but is terribly written and acted, and full of unfunny jokes. This is as "B" as a B movie can get.

So, why do I give it 4 stars? It gets one each for the four fabulous babes that spend most of the film hiking in the great outdoors while nearly or completely naked. I especially enjoyed the tough-yet-voluptuous-and-beautiful Julie K Smith. If I weren't already happily married, I'd love to go hiking with her.

Enjoy!

They may want to make a series of these and label the collection The All-Star series. You simply can't pass up a movie with Lorissa and Nikki (especially when they get it on with each other). It is a wonderful spoof of BWP with the donkey. The only thing missing is more lesbian scenes.