Baseball Shorts: 1,000 of the Game's Funniest One-Liners [Hardcover]

Glenn Liebman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 1994

"The secret of managing a club is to keep the five guys who hate you from the five who are undecided." -- Casey Stengel "Do they leave it there during games?" -- Bill Lee, upon first seeing the Green Monster, Fenway Park's 37-foot high left-field wall "The cops picked me up on the streets at 3:00 am and fined me $500 for being drunk and $100 for being with the Phillies." -- Bob Uecker "Well, she's already had so much experience grabbing herself, she should be great." -- Jay Leno, on Madonna appearing in the movie A League of Their Own "I pitch like my hair's on fire." -- Mitch Williams

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

In this collection of baseball's funniest quips, zingers, and malapropisms, players coaches, owners, umpires, and celebrity fans sound off about the national pastime. Baseball Shorts includes the humor of over a century of baseball, and all the game's legendary characters and current superstars are featured—Yogi Berra, Casey Stengel, Tommy Lasorda, Mickey Mantle, Phil Rizzuto, Deion Sanders, Rickey Henderson, Lenny Dykstra, and others. Hall of Famers as well as modern-day wisecrackers, from Ralph Kiner ("All the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodgers Stadium") to Charlie Hough ("When I broke in, they didn't have bats—we just grabbed the branch off a tree") to Larry Andersen ("If a guy is a good fastball hitter, does that mean I should throw him a bad fastball?), are included. Baseball fans of all generations will applaud the wit of Bob Uecker, Joe Garagiola, Sparky Anderson, and hundreds more in this witty and entertaining collection of one-liners.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (April 1, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0809236443
• ISBN-13: 978-0809236442
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 5.2 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,292,565 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Thank you for viewing my page. I am the author of thirteen books on the funniest sports quotations (I also wrote one book about political quotes). The books are part of the Shorts Series (i.e.--Football Shorts, Basketball Shorts, Golf Shorts, etc.). These books have sold over 3000,000 copies worldwide.

I have very much enjoyed working on the books but I have taken a hiatus for the last several years to concentrate on other things (including coaching a basketball team for several years with a combined record of 5-30--the ironic part was that some of the kids were terrific players but unfortunately their coach was not exactly a Coach K clone). In recent months, I have started writing again and have some articles coming up in The Elks Magazine and Referee Magazine. Of course, the focus of the articles are on quotes. I have also created a blog. The site of the blog is http://sportsquotation.blogspot.com/

I have always loved how quotes can both inspire and make people laugh. My blog is dedicated to look at sports quotes from a different angle (ie.---Greatest Sports Quotes about Cats, Greatest Sports Quotes about Cookies, Greatest Bruce Willis Sports Quotes, etc.). It also provides me with an opportunity to vent which is important for us pseudo Type A (I'm more like a B-Plus) personalities.

Feel free to contact me any time and I hope you have an opportunity to read some of the books. The feedback I have gotten over the years is overwhelmingly positive. Of course, even though they are not my words, I do take fulll credit.
Thank you, Glenn

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You'll laugh your a** off !, July 29, 2000

By 

"wampas" - See all my reviews

This review is from: Baseball Shorts: 1,000 of the Game's Funniest One-Liners (Hardcover)

This is the funnest baseball book I have ever read! With quotes on every thing for fielding "First I pray to God that nobody hits a ball to me. Then I pry that nobody hits the ball to Steve Sax." Pedro Guerrero. To autograph signings "It was fun until a kid came up to me and said, 'my dad says you're getting old, you're going to die, and your autograph will be Valuable.'" Warren Spahn, on autograph shows. With all the funny quotes in this book you will have a stomach ache for days. Buy it now!

5.0 out of 5 stars Great for the baseball fan who loves to laugh., December 26, 2001

By 

glenn liebman (Albany, N.Y.) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Baseball Shorts: 1,000 of the Game's Funniest One-Liners (Hardcover)

Hi, I am biased because I am the author, but this is a hilarious book about baseball's all-time great characters from Casey to Yogi and everyone in between. There are so many great characters in baseball that this book had me laughing from beginning to end during compilation of this book. If you would like more information about this book or any of my books, contact me at glennliebman.com. Thank you for your time.

5.0 out of 5 stars Casey Stengel would be proud of this book!, May 7, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Baseball Shorts: 1,000 of the Game's Funniest One-Liners (Hardcover)

As a longtime baseball fan I felt that I had to comment on Mr. Liebman's tome. I have received countless hours of enjoyment from reading the quotes. I have also given the book as a gift to many baseball buddies of mine and they have been equally impressed. Well done Mr. Liebman - Casey salutes you!