How one family fought the myth that you have to destroy childhood to raise extraordinary adults.
What does a “successful” child look like?
If you imagined a straight-A-earning, classical-music-playing, rule-following, Ivy-bound prodigy, you’re not alone.
This is what I thought my kid should look like, too. I was determined to raise my child in this image, no matter the cost. After all, I was one of those kids (Columbia University, Class of 1989). The traditional path to success sure worked for me.
But life intervened in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
I was faced with two choices: Impose my will no matter the trauma. Or, take a frightening, uncharted path—
—to where?
A sub-standard child, unable to succeed on the level I had?
Did letting up mean letting my child down?
Answering these questions took my family on a fascinating journey. What looked and felt like failure after failure on adult terms led to a different kind of success: mad creativity, fierce independence, and relentless self-direction.
In other words, everything an adult needs to make it in today’s world.
So what does a successful child look like?
She looks like my child. And if you consider a similar path by relaxing, backing off, letting up, and settling down, she (or he) just might look a lot like yours.
(Diana Holquist is the award-winning author of six novels. She's won the New York Book Festival award for Best Novel; has garnered a coveted starred review from Publisher's Weekly; and, she's been a RITA and Reader's Choice Award finalist. She lives in Philadelphia with her husband, two kids, and two cats. She also writes small-town women's fiction under the pseudonym Sophie Gunn.)
PRAISE FOR NOVELS BY DIANA HOLQUIST
"With characters so real, they jump off the page..." --Doubleday Book Club
“(Holquist)...raises some serious issues, leaving readers’ eyes shining both with happiness and tears.”
--Library Journal, 7/28/11
"...laughter, passion and deeply moving sentiment."
--New York Times Bestseller Robyn Carr
"...Holquist is one for the keeper shelf."
--Parksberg News and Sentinel
"A real treat for readers..."
--New York Times Bestseller Susan Wiggs
“A delightful debut...”
--Booklist, starred review
"...humor, warmth, emotions, characters that step off the page..."
--New York Times Bestseller Mariah Stewart
What does a “successful” child look like?
If you imagined a straight-A-earning, classical-music-playing, rule-following, Ivy-bound prodigy, you’re not alone.
This is what I thought my kid should look like, too. I was determined to raise my child in this image, no matter the cost. After all, I was one of those kids (Columbia University, Class of 1989). The traditional path to success sure worked for me.
But life intervened in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
I was faced with two choices: Impose my will no matter the trauma. Or, take a frightening, uncharted path—
—to where?
A sub-standard child, unable to succeed on the level I had?
Did letting up mean letting my child down?
Answering these questions took my family on a fascinating journey. What looked and felt like failure after failure on adult terms led to a different kind of success: mad creativity, fierce independence, and relentless self-direction.
In other words, everything an adult needs to make it in today’s world.
So what does a successful child look like?
She looks like my child. And if you consider a similar path by relaxing, backing off, letting up, and settling down, she (or he) just might look a lot like yours.
(Diana Holquist is the award-winning author of six novels. She's won the New York Book Festival award for Best Novel; has garnered a coveted starred review from Publisher's Weekly; and, she's been a RITA and Reader's Choice Award finalist. She lives in Philadelphia with her husband, two kids, and two cats. She also writes small-town women's fiction under the pseudonym Sophie Gunn.)
PRAISE FOR NOVELS BY DIANA HOLQUIST
"With characters so real, they jump off the page..." --Doubleday Book Club
“(Holquist)...raises some serious issues, leaving readers’ eyes shining both with happiness and tears.”
--Library Journal, 7/28/11
"...laughter, passion and deeply moving sentiment."
--New York Times Bestseller Robyn Carr
"...Holquist is one for the keeper shelf."
--Parksberg News and Sentinel
"A real treat for readers..."
--New York Times Bestseller Susan Wiggs
“A delightful debut...”
--Booklist, starred review
"...humor, warmth, emotions, characters that step off the page..."
--New York Times Bestseller Mariah Stewart
