Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother [Hardcover]

Amy Chua (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 11, 2011

An awe-inspiring, often hilarious, and unerringly honest story of one mother's exercise in extreme parenting, revealing the rewards-and the costs-of raising her children the Chinese way.

All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. What Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reveals is that the Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that. Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions and providing a nurturing environment. The Chinese believe that the best way to protect your children is by preparing them for the future and arming them with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua's iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, her way-the Chinese way-and the remarkable results her choice inspires.

Here are some things Amy Chua would never allow her daughters to do:

• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin

The truth is Lulu and Sophia would never have had time for a playdate. They were too busy practicing their instruments (two to three hours a day and double sessions on the weekend) and perfecting their Mandarin.

Of course no one is perfect, including Chua herself. Witness this scene:

"According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at the piano as I supervised her practicing:
1. Oh my God, you're just getting worse and worse.
2. I'm going to count to three, then I want musicality.
3. If the next time's not PERFECT, I'm going to take all your stuffed animals and burn them!"

But Chua demands as much of herself as she does of her daughters. And in her sacrifices-the exacting attention spent studying her daughters' performances, the office hours lost shuttling the girls to lessons-the depth of her love for her children becomes clear. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is an eye-opening exploration of the differences in Eastern and Western parenting--and the lessons parents and children everywhere teach one another.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Chua (Day of Empire) imparts the secret behind the stereotypical Asian child's phenomenal success: the Chinese mother. Chua promotes what has traditionally worked very well in raising children: strict, Old World, uncompromising values--and the parents don't have to be Chinese. What they are, however, are different from what she sees as indulgent and permissive Western parents: stressing academic performance above all, never accepting a mediocre grade, insisting on drilling and practice, and instilling respect for authority. Chua and her Jewish husband (both are professors at Yale Law) raised two girls, and her account of their formative years achieving amazing success in school and music performance proves both a model and a cautionary tale. Sophia, the eldest, was dutiful and diligent, leapfrogging over her peers in academics and as a Suzuki piano student; Lulu was also gifted, but defiant, who excelled at the violin but eventually balked at her mother's pushing. Chua's efforts "not to raise a soft, entitled child" will strike American readers as a little scary--removing her children from school for extra practice, public shaming and insults, equating Western parenting with failure--but the results, she claims somewhat glibly in this frank, unapologetic report card, "were hard to quarrel with." (Jan.)
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From Bookmarks Magazine

Most critics agreed that Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is an entertaining read—lively and humorous, written with the intent to shock. More controversial is Chua’s stereotyping of Chinese and Western cultures, not to mention her authoritarian parenting methods. Critics judged the book largely by asking the following questions: Should self-esteem come before accomplishment, or accomplishment before self-esteem? If the latter, should it be achieved by threats and constant monitoring? Chua’s teenage daughters are undeniably accomplished, but at what emotional cost? While some reviewers found that Chua’s technique borders on abuse and her writing was, at best, self-serving, others were impressed by her parenting results and opined that the West could learn a few things from this remarkably driven Chinese American mother.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Penguin Press HC, The; First Edition edition (January 11, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1594202842
• ISBN-13: 978-1594202841
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 5.6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (603 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,220 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #4 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Ethnic & National > Chinese

More About the Author

Amy Chua is the John M. Duff Professor of Law at Yale Law School. Her first book, World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability, a New York Times bestseller, was selected by both The Economist and the U.K.'s Guardian as one of the Best Books of 2003. Her second book, Day of Empire: How Hyperpowers Rise to Global Dominance-and Why They Fall, was a critically acclaimed Foreign Affairs bestseller.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

691 of 800 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It's about acceptance, January 13, 2011

By 

Jared Zyglinsky - See all my reviews

This review is from: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (Hardcover)

People who are taking this book the wrong way (particularly those who read the excerpt in the newspapers and not the book itself) are missing the big picture. The book is a memoir, and Chua tells her story no-holds-barred. Her mother is a central figure and her discipline (right or wrong) has shaped who Chua has become. Like all of us, Chua has had to find the good in her parents, particularly the good in their intentions (even when they aren't easy to find). Those who are treating this as a parenting manual advocating parents raise their children the way Chua was raised either haven't read the book or have completely missed the point.

You also get to go along with Chua as she raises her two daughters. They had incredibly strict rules to follow: no play dates, no sleepovers, and two hours a day of instrument practice. You see that her parenting isn't perfect in their achievements: the oldest played in Carnegie Hall at the age of 14 and the youngest...well I don't want to give away one of the best parts of the story but lets just say they had different paths. You live her struggle with a parenting style that's seen as extreme in America.

Even though I'm deeply implanted in the "lax" Western style of parenting, I still related deeply to the struggles of raising children. The book is hilarious and shocking in places. The kind of book you can't put down. The transformation Chua moves through is powerful. Her writing still is brisk and lively and you're sure to empathize with her struggles and her dreams. The book is striking a chord with so many because it hits hard at the questions we all must answer for ourselves in life: love, achievement, self-esteem, ambition, pride... She doesn't ultimately answer the question for anyone, she just tells her story in a way that's so real and so powerful that you'll never forget it.

I Love Yous Are for White People: A Memoir (P.S.) (the title derived from his father's mantra) is another book you'll absolutely want to check out. There are some amazing stories out there about parenting, and these two are told with power.

168 of 192 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Terrible parenting message, March 26, 2011

By 

Viola Chen - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (Kindle Edition)

As an Asian-American myself, I was raised by parents who believed in the "Chinese" parenting philosophy that Amy Chua espouses in her book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Because of my background, I took this book very personally. How could I not?

I imagine that most people are drawn to this book because of the WSJ article, "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior." Is the book just more of the article? For the most part, yes.

In this memoir type of a book, Amy Chua sets out the dreams she has for her daughters and recounts her relentless pursuit of those dreams at all costs. Her stories alone would not be so offensive had she not tied them all together with the assertion that the Chinese parenting philosophy produces better progeny than the Western parenting philosophy.

First of all, I completely disagree with the Chinese parenting philosophy. It is true that the Chinese parenting philosophy might produce high achieving children. But it is equally true that it might produce some very miserable ones. There is a cost in terms of time, energy, missed social interaction, and mental health.

Amy Chua casually dismisses the idea of any harm to self-esteem, but I couldn't disagree more. Perhaps it's true that Amy's two daughters don't have any self-esteem problems. But their mental health may be attributed to just plain luck rather than to Amy - that is, nature rather than nurture. If Amy had more sensitive children, I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up in the mental hospital. Indeed, statistically speaking, Asian-American girls have the highest suicide rate among any race or ethnic group in the 15-24 age group.

In the book, Amy Chua spends a disproportionate amount of time on her daughters' musical pursuits. Although learning either the piano or violin is commonplace in Asian households, there is also typically emphasis on SAT prep, supplementary math studies, and learning Chinese. Amy Chua does touch upon some non-music goals, but most of her book focuses on the piano and violin.

Hence, I often got the impression that Amy Chua wished that she herself could be the piano player or violin player that she made her children become. She devoured, digested, and regurgitated all of the music theory taught by her daughter's music teachers. She recruited the best teachers and even arranged for both of her daughters to practice while traveling. Yes, she even hunted down pianos in Europe just so that her daughter would never miss a day of practicing. Then when it was time for her daughters to perform, Amy Chua seemed to experience stage fright from the comfort of her seat in the audience. Perhaps she knew that she wasn't able to do what her daughters did. Her level of obsession with her daughters' musical performances seemed to be not just on a different level, but on a different planet than many of the Asian-Americans I know.

At the beginning, Amy Chua framed the book by stating that she was humbled by her youngest daughter Lulu, who rebelled against the harsh parenting tactics of her mother and took up tennis. But I found this so-called "humbling" to be disingenuous. It was contrived. Amy even mentions how she had a difficult time coming up with how to end the book. I don't buy that she was humbled by Lulu. She didn't have an awakening. Lulu simply was more stubborn and won the war with her mother. Besides, tennis isn't even outside of the Asian-American comfort zone. It's not like Lulu took up cheerleading.

If you strip the book of its parenting manifesto message, then there are some redeeming qualities. For one, it does provide a glimpse into the lives of many children of Asian descent in America, albeit, a bit an extreme example. For all those who wonder why Asians are the most educated ethnic/race group in America, and yet are grossly under-represented in executive leadership positions, this book offers some insight. The Chinese parenting philosophy demands hard work, high results, but virtually no innovation.

Second, the book is funny. I laughed out loud when, in an argument with her husband, Amy Chua demanded to know what dreams he had for their dog Coco. That was the funniest part of the book. Much of the time, her words were spot on. I laughed because I related. And then, there were times when her anecdotes were so over the top that they were hilarious.

Lastly, I commend Amy Chua for being ridiculously honest. It definitely takes some guts to go that public with some of her horrifying and near-CPS-worthy parenting decisions.

Overall, my recommendation of this short book is mixed. I cannot stand the fact that she truly believes in the Chinese parenting philosophy. On the other hand, it's entertaining and good fodder for discussion.

90 of 104 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars An absolute insult, September 19, 2011

By 

feng meng (Pleasanton, CA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (Hardcover)

I am a Chinese who came to the US at age 23 and got married with my wife of similar background. I found this book an absolute insult to the real typical "Chinese" parenting method. My parents, like many others, were strict in educating me and my sister in terms of academic performance, sports (I am so grateful to have my life-long hobby of soccer and play weekly in a league), music (I am an avid classical guitar player) and social skills. But they never frightened or abused me. In fact they merely showed me the door and let me chose. For example I was given violin lessons and allowed to quit in a month - I found it so painful to hear the squeaky sound. I was allowed to choose what major to concentrate on instead of "you must study business because you will make more money..." I ended up choosing computer engineering and couldn't be happier with my choice.

We have 2 girls, age 10 and 6. Although we are strict in sending our girls to a nice private school near we live, making sure they complete their homework (including the bonus questions) every night, controlling the amount of TV hours (we don't allow them to watch what's on the cable channels. We "make" them watch high quality classic movies such as "Marry Poppins", "Sound of Music" and etc), helping them find an exciting sport (they both ended up with swimming, after we allow them to try golf, soccer and tennis.), and encouraging them to get outside our comfort zone of Chinese culture to learn from those whose predecessors had been here a lot longer. I am deeply disturbed by the stereotype and insult that the author created to not only us as a typical Chinese family but also other ethinity groups.

I feel like apologizing on her behalf to the "western" group. We are not what she described, and although we believe in many aspects of our Chinese parenting approach, we also quite respect the way kids are raised here in terms of emphasis on "social skills", "art and literature", and "the importance of having fun and finding their real passions and interests".