Customer Reviews

Battle of the Last Panzer [VHS]

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I was very displeased with the move and found it intolerable to sit through the whole picture. ... A honest review from a true military buff!!

I would not recommend this movie to anyone. The vocal/visual movements of the mouths did not match up throughout the whole movie. The helmets the Americans were using were not correct. The weaponry that the Amercans were using were not correct, as well. The weapons that the Americans were using, weren't even used in WWII; they weren't even invented yet!

After a failed tank assault against American defenses, a surviving German tank crew teams up with some more survivors to rebuild their Panzer and try to make it behind enemy lines. Pursued by American forces and French guerrillas, the German tankers fight against enemies as well as combating each other.

"Battle of the Last Panzer" has an interesting storyline that should have been better - in fact it was given better (though not perfect) delivery in the later film "The Beast," about a Soviet tank caught behind enemy lines in Afghanistan. By the end of the film the viewer is left very disappointed by what he's come across.

Part of the problem is that this is a "spaghetti" war film. Now, I've always been a huge fan of spaghetti westerns, but the faults that were hidden in those movies come out clear as day here. There's nothing more hilarious than seeing desert terrain passed off as France, and actors who are clearly Italians (swarthy skin, dark hair, Mediterranean composition) passed off as Frenchman. The dubbing, which is usually passable in the westerns, is here really obvious. Sometimes the voice tracking is so bad that for a second I thought I was watching a Godzilla film.

There are oodles of more problems not directly related to the Italian origins of this film. The German tanks are, typical of most WWII films of the time period, simply American tanks with German crosses painted on them. The American uniforms look like Yugoslav uniforms. An American officer wears his rank on his helmet sideways.

There is one good scene, near the end, where the Germans fight off an attack by French guerrillas. Unfortunately, it is too little too late, and the madness/desperation of the German forces is not emphasized enough.

To top this all off, this has some REALLY bad writing. Check out this monologue by the female lead:

"God breathed into dust, and God made man, and when God disappears, there's only dust again. I'd always believed that a man should be like cement...a block of cement...without ever realizing that cement after all is dust...that only man has the breadth of life."

Yeah...that sums up the movie nicely.

I was a tank man in the real army (US). I'm also a war movie aficionado who used to think that any movie with a tank in it was at least "good" just because I love tanks. This is one of two exceptions (the other is "The Beast"). The story line is stupid, the acting is stilted, and the situations go way beyond any suspension of disbelief. If "Plan 9 From Outer Space" were to be re-done as a World War II movie, this would be it. It's too bad to even be laughable. There is simply nothing in it that is believable. Tanks generally engage at long range, especially the German Tiger Tank of World War II, that took advantage of its powerful 88mm gun. This silly thing had US M41 "Walker Bulldog" tanks portraying Tigers dogfighting at point-blank range as if they were aircraft or something similar. Silly! One with a crew of only two went up against another with a full crew - and won (not likely)!The use of the M41 is not surprising and has been done in many other War Movies, like "Battle of the Bulge" - - not enough operational Shermans and Tiger look-alikes to do a big film - so I can forgive that. I can't forgive how absurd this movie made them look. The French underground were portrayed as complete idiots. The US troops were portrayed as dimwits, and the uniforms were strange at best. The acting was just flat out weak in every measure. It was just a bad movie all around. Don't waste your money. It's awful.

This is not just the worst WWII movie ever made, it is arguably the worst movie ever made, period. Yes, much worse than the infamous Plan 9 From Outer Space. At least that was so bad it was funny. This movie is just mindless, boring, and stupid. It is a confused story of a German tank crew who for some reason speak perfect English, driving a Russian tank, confronted by Americans in German helmets, traipsing through French countryside that looks suspiciously like Spain. The acting is wooden, the character development is nil, the score is amateurish, and the cinematography is just awful. I forced myself to watch it because I'm a masochist. My film buff partner gave up and walked away in disgust after the first 50 minutes. Warning: if you pop this in your DVD, you will curse the senseless waste of electrons. Forget this schlock and go watch "Band of Brothers" instead.