Customer Reviews

To Be An Anchor in the Storm: A Guide for Families and Friends of Abused Women

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This is one of the finest books I have read on domestic violence. As the director of a domestic violence program, I have been enthusiastically recommending it to clients, colleagues and friends alike.

The real strength of this book is that it gives those who want to help a perspective and specific tools and guidelines for supporting a woman who is being abused. Too many resources are basically compendia of the facts about battering and lists of (national) resources; this book is a written hands-on support system for those who are the victim's support system. Best of all, the auther consistently maintains complete respect for the victim's need to make her own decisions, and she shows the reader how to struggle successfully with the desire to jump in and fix it (or to run away from the problem altogether). She includes issues relevant to battered men, as well as a section on "if you're a friend of the abuser."

Perhaps the most telling comment I have heard about this book was given by one of my hotline trainees. She read it close to the end of her 40-hour intensive training, which had included experts from all areas, lots of information about the dynamics of battering, films, and hours of role-plays. Her comment to the rest of the trainees was "Up until I read this book, it was all still kind of unclear to me how to put all this information together. Now I feel like I really GET what it is we're doing here on this hotline."

According to Strauss and Gelles, the majority of battered women don't look for help to the police, doctors, or therapists. They look to their friends and family. Most often, those friends and family genuinely want to help, but don't know how to. This book will finally teach them how. It could be the most influential (in a quiet way) book to come out of the battered women's movement in the past few years.

This book has been an excellent resource for me and I'm so glad I bought it! I am a clinical social worker and on many occasions I have referred clients to this book. When you have a tool like this, you can really help make a difference in people's lives. My preference would have had practical advice more clearly separated from vignettes. I don't think this takes away from the overall benefits of the book, though.

practical information on how you can help, and, just as important, how you can't help. i wish every doctor, social worker, nurse, police officer, paramedic would read it.

the book itself is a labor of love, as is the process it describes. and the techniques can be applied to other relationships as well.

i'm so grateful for the advice.

Great book, super advice for helping a friend or family member who is in an abusive relationship. This is not the most current addition, see Helping Her Get Free: A Guide for Families and Friends of Abused Women by the same author.