I'm surprised. While the ideas may be familiar to those acquainted with the psychology of personal change, the book reads like a fast-paced summer novel. And I need its reminders daily.
Best dialogue from the book:
Jeff said, "So I think I get what you are saying, but this guy was a jerk. He didn't have a reservation. There was a forty-five minute wait and he wanted to be seated immediately in one of the premier seats in the restaurant. That's a jerk."
"No," said Martin. "That's a story. You are telling yourself a story about this person that's making you angry even now."
Best insight:
Whatever the problem (or opportunity), I have options about how I frame the situation to myself. Hard to implement at times, but incredibly powerful. And confirmed by dozens of classic studies (McAdams, Sheehy, Levinson, among others)--most of which don't read as entertainingly.
New Yorker cartoon that most relates: A man walks in on his wife in bed with another man. His wife says, "Allow me to offer a competing narrative."
Healthy parody from The Onion: "I Guess Now Would be As Good a Time as Any To Triumph Over Adversity." Includes observations like " I'm just not up for a moment of unprecedented human achievement right now. Maybe after I finish watching the rest of this Seinfeld episode, I'll be in the mood to discover my previously untapped wells of courage and power. But maybe I'll take a nap first."
Far Side cartoon that most relates: Two devils watch a guy pushing a wheelbarrel of coal through the fires of hell, and he's whistling. One devil says to the other, "You know, we're just not reaching that guy." Whether at work or home, I must beware what I tell myself others should do, and what hell my own story puts them through.
Sure such books don't change external reality. But I can change how I relate to that reality, how I respond, and what I do. And that can change what then happens in reality.
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