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To Be Told: God Invites You to Coauthor Your Future

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In his latest book, TO BE TOLD, Dan Allender encourages readers to examine their lives in a search for the story that God is telling through their existence. Allender says we often don't know our own stories because we doubt their existence, dismiss their importance, or we're distracted.

"Too many people are missing their story because they're watching the stories of others. We live vicariously through television, sports, magazine, and talk shows. Such stories may occasionally educate us, but most often they sedate us. They free us from admitting that our own life is dull and lifeless. They attract us because they offer life without risk. They are deathly safe."

Fans of John Eldredge's writing, especially THE SACRED ROMANCE, will find similar themes of brokenness, revelation, desire, and narrative redemption here.

"Something must awaken us to the fact that we are asleep. And what awakens us is usually a moment of exposure when we see that the conventions that guide our steps and promise us a good life are nothing more than illusions."

"The stories told in most families are a kind of propaganda."

"You must listen to the heartache and hope that etched in the narrative of your life. And you must find the meaning God has written there."

"Your plight is your redemption."

"Desire is both our greatest frailty and the mark of our highest beauty."

Allender has a humble and disarming tone that is humorous and relatable. It can be hard at times to wade through the jargon of "story" --- feasting on story, editing together, writing your destiny ... what does all that mean? But the effort to truly understand what Allender is getting at is worth it. In essence, he's trying to get people to remember. It sounds simple, but it's not given that so many people have a dysfunctional relationship with the past. Whether good or bad, it can be hard to deal with, and so people tend to forget. But by entering into the past, Allender says that we can understand the present and help write our futures.

"God is the Potter, and we are the clay. Even the word human --- derived from the Latin word humus, meaning "dirt" --- shouts loudly about our origin. We are dirt. The name Adam (Hebrew 'adama) means "red," the color of clay. God shaped, molded, and formed us to reveal something about himself. He is a Being who loves to reveal and who invites us to join the process of revelation by calling to ask, seek and knock. God always intended for his children to join him in completing creation. We are no inanimate entities that merely reveal glory but living stories that are meant to create glory."

In other words, by seeing and understanding the stories God is telling through our lives, we can be more alive.

TO BE TOLD will provide insight for just about everyone interested in living an intentional Christian life. In addition to his wise observations about life, Allender gets practical in his suggestions for knowing one's story, including fasting, prayer, and of course, writing. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if a bit of a memoir-writing fad ensues. And frankly, if Allender is right, we'd be better off for it.

--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel

Dan Allender in his book, "To Be Told" presents both the tools and the inspiration for each of us to understand the stories that God has written in our lives. By understanding the story that God has written in the past, he contends that it will help us to understand the direction that God would have us to take for the future.

Allender does a great job in this book of presenting a method for understanding the difficulties of our past. His sharing of his own difficult background shows that he personally knows of that which he speaks. And since he keeps it simple it is accessible to anyone.

One area that I wish Allender had done a better job of was to broaden the application of understanding our stories. Although dealing with the past and understanding the direction for the future are both important applications, I think that there may be a whole host of others.

However, that small difference aside, Allender's book is well-written and includes powerful practical ideas on how to understand how God is writing your life. I highly recommend it and the accompanying workbook.

For a longer review, go to the blog listed in my nickname and click on the 'Reading' category.

(...)

To Be Told is a unique book, a challenge and inspiration for people to take a close look at their own story, what God has been doing in their life, to gain insight as to what the Author has in store for the rest of story. More than that, it challenges us to become willing and active co-authors in that story. Dan Allender also makes a case for doing this in community, becoming listeners and editors in each others tales. Over the course of the book, he shares freely from his own story, getting extremely personal at times - which helps us understand his call to understand your Real self. Although the book is more than the sum of its components or a how-to book, here is the table of contents.

Part One: Your Name and Your Story
1. The Tale to be Told (Reading your life as God has written it)
2. What's Your Real Name
3. What Makes a Good Story (A better way to read your tragedies)
Part Two: Reading Your Story
4. Listening to what moves you
5. Facing the Tragedy that Shapes you
6. Getting Caught by your Calling
Part Three: Writing your Story
7. Writing your Destiny
8. Editing Together
Part Four: Multiplying Your Story
9. Story Feasting
10. Prayer that Reveals
11. The Fruit of Fasting
12. Giving Away Your Story (Allow your story to reveal God)

From the style of the book, I can see where many readers will be blown away by the power of the book, while others might well scratch their head and wonder "What am I supposed to do with this?" While the book offers questions for the readers to consider as they ponder their own story, there is a separate workbook that offers much more of a guided journey to understanding your story. (The book itself has too few questions, the workbook perhaps too many!?) Quotes praising the book are provided from John Eldredge, Brian McLaren, Stanley Grenz, and others. Readers with a strong artistic/creative side who revel in "story" will likely love this book. Those who scratch their heads confused by books like Wild at Heart or Epic (by Eldredge) may likewise have trouble connecting the dots with Allender's book. As an engineer I found myself somewhere in the middle - I really enjoyed the chapters on a better way to read tragedies and on getting caught by your calling but started to get lost in the second half of the book. It's an interesting read by itself, but those willing to actually put their own stories to paper will get the most out of To Be Told.

This book is extremely useful if you are at the point of analyzing your life's story. I am involved in an extremely intimate group of fellow believers and we had already taken the time to tell our individual stories to each other. It was exhausting and scary and made us extremely vulnerable to each other. And now, we are working through this book and discovering how our stories have affected us and how we can grow beyond them. So far, so good. I'm excited to see what God will do now that we have exposed the truth about ourselves. We already know that we will have to retell our stories after we have finished this book, but it doesn't seem so scary anymore. It is freeing to pinpoint the things that hold us back and the things that make us soar. It's also extremely important to see God's penmanship all over our lives. And it's wonderful to share the journey with dear, safe friends.

I really thought I was just going to pick up another book to be a tool in my 'writers' tool box. I had no idea that I would definably pick up the sharpest tool in the tool belt, and begin a journey of self discovery and encouragement.
To be told is an invitation to seeing that your life has a purpose and bringing hope to your future, all at the end of your own pen.

I am helping people review their lives, and assess how their story made them who they are. This book is awesome. The questions are aimed at this goal. What a resource

I've been invited to co-author a story with one of the best selling novelists ever! He's sold more books than Tim LaHaye! It is quite an honor. I can hardly believe it!

I have already seen an outline for about the first half of the story, and from what I can tell, it's going to be amazing. It's basically the true life story of someone who is very similar to me, which I suppose is why I was chosen. It ultimately is a story about a man who constantly searches for truth, and he spends all his time and money in this search. Yet every time the end of his search seems near, and truth seems within his grasp, something happens which makes him realize he is on the wrong path, or asking the wrong questions.

There are twists and tragedies in the plot that seem almost excessive. Just when it seems that the author has developed a pattern for the main character, everything changes. I talked to the main author about this, and he assures me that this is the way it happened in real life, and that all these turns must happen because they are preparing the man for something that will occur later in the story. I don't know what that is, since I've only seen about half of the story so far. The author tells me that though he's written the first half, he wants me to help author the second half. I'm not sure I'm up to it, but if he think I am, I'll give it a shot.

Who is this author? It's God. Yeah, He's the best-selling author of all time.

And what's the story? It's my life.

Dan Allender's book has really helped me view my life as a coherent whole that is going someplace (even if I don't exactly know where) rather than just a string of random events while I'm in a holding pattern for heaven. Furthermore, it helps me see that I can help God write my future. I can make choices and decisions that make my life more of an adventure romance full of tragedy, risk, and triumph than a mind-numbingly dull home video of a dog playing in the grass.

So how are you doing in writing the Screenplay of your life? Is it going to be a Blockbuster?

Dan B. Allender, Ph.D, is a professor of counseling, a therapist, and a public speaker, seminar leader, and a "reflection and recovery" retreat facilitator. He is also associated with the Mars Hill Graduate School, in Seattle, Washington. Visit his website at [...]

Dr. Allender writes with the premise of the reader's belief in God. He uses Bible versus to reinforce a point, such as: "You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good."

To Be Told is constructed in four parts: Your Name and Your Story; Reading Your Story; Writing Your Story; and Multiplying Your Story. One of the themes throughout each part is that of authoring your own life with the guidance of God. Dr. Allender says that God is not only your Authority, but also your Author. Another theme is that your story must be told to offer you insight, as well as to provide enlightenment for others. Allender says, "We are to read our past to gain a greater sense of how to write our life in the present."

To Be Told is a thought-provoking book that is also a call to personal action. While reading the concepts in To Be Told, it's difficult to not answer the questions Allender asks, including "Facing the Tragedy That Shapes You." Allender encourages the reader/writer to be an authentic source of one's own story. He shares his story so that the reader feels comfortable revealing his/her truth, rather than relying on the influences of others. Allender is adamant about refusing others the ability to state your past and shape your present.

At the end of each chapter, there are questions that help the reader/writer explore specifics of his/her story. (There is a To Be Told companion workbook.) Be prepared to dig deep inside to determine your life's theme and your calling. Dr. Allender says, "We don't find our calling; it finds us."

This book is good for those who want to write their story, regardless of the aim to publish. It's recommended as a tool for personal and spiritual growth.

This workbook is an excellent companion and continuation of the To Be Told book written by Dan Allender To Be Told: God Invites You to Coauthor Your Future. This companion workbook further explores the significant events in ones life by using questions that help you search your life for common themes. For anyone wanting to take the journey of understanding how God uses past experiences in life to determine ones calling, this workbook is a must have.

you're interested in developing your faith, you would like to put your life story in a broader, more complete context and you would like to develop a healthier perspective on some of the more difficult experiences that you've gone through. I would recommend this book to many of my patients who need to broaden their spiritual and experiential perspective and I would recommend a book to many of the parents that I work with who have a very difficult time dealing with the spiritual development of their children.

Spirituality is a developmental process. Many of us attempt to get by with a very limited infantile spirituality, which is no surprise, because we learned it when we were very young. When it no longer serves us we simply close the door on further spiritual growth, and, most importantly refuse to ever open it again. It is sort of like trying to get through a calculus class with the math that you learned in sixth-grade.

Dr. Allender's attempt to get us to look at our history in the context of being co-authors with God and being part of the revelation process is a huge step in opening the door and moving on towards a more age-appropriate relationship with God. The author is extremely talented. He has a real knack for identifying and processing the dynamics of traumatic experiences and how they relate to God. It can be a difficult read, but that is because it challenges us in a very meaningful way. I look forward to reading more of Dr. Allender's work.

Obviously, the book is written within a Christian framework. However, anyone who has an interest in incorporating a realistic, commonsensical, notion of God into their lives would benefit from this book.
My only nitpick is that at times I found it repetitive but that's purely subjective.