3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A thought provoking 'Guru' book for the cynics among us!, January 4, 2007
This review is from: Be Your Own Guru: Personal and Business Enlightenment in Just 3 Days! (Paperback)
January 3rd 2007
I am unquestionably a `cynic' with regard to self-help books and have never succeeded in reading beyond chapter 2.
One of my frustrations with `self help' books that have lain, unmoved on my bedside table, only to be used ultimately as coffee coasters, is that they are written in a "pink and fluffy" manner or worse are overbearing, academic and boring.
Ms Stefanino in her introduction tells us that she has written her book to appeal to our imagination and logic. By using our brains in this way she guarantees that, we will not only make sense of what we are reading but intuitively grasp the bigger picture too. So far so good.
The book is centered around a pilot project in which Ms Stefanino plans to prove in a "scientific and credible way" the results of her "Be Your Own Guru" ....programme to a group of nine underperforming bank managers no less. At this point, I was both intrigued and curious.
"The Banker" the man who initiated the project, with a voice like "molten chocolate" (I liked him already) and found myself conjuring an image of a handsome, mysterious but merciless fellow seated behind an vast walnut desk issuing orders to meek and compliant staff.
"The Banker" explains the parameters of the project; they will divide the region's senior business banking team into two groups, half of which (naturally the underperforming half) will be given to Ms Stefanino for 3 days. The group's sales results will be evaluated after a 9-month period against those who did not participate in the programme.
With the help of her "clients" as case studies, Ms Stefanino takes the reader through a journey of self-discovery. Using a building block approach, each chapter is followed by a case study and a `how to' section.
Her grasp of the frailties' of us as human beings is at times unnerving but her frank and honest approach makes her likeable all the same.
Ms Stefanino tells us that we must heal the past in order to guarantee a great future. She informs us "we hurt ourselves far more than anyone else can hurt us; It is the replaying of past hurts in our mind that really causes problems - more so than the actual event itself." Moreover, if we have buried the memories really deep (as in the case of some of her case studies) we may not even be aware. Matt, a bright young man with a glittering future ahead of him has a hand tremor, which has been with him since childhood. Using hypnosis, Ms Stefanino invites Matt to find out the cause of the symptom. (the symptom being the hand tremor) It transpires the cause is the result of inappropriate sexual behaviour from a music teacher.
Using a technique called PEAR (Personal Enlightenment and Release process) Ms Stefanino gently guides Matt through PEAR allowing him to regress to his childhood, express his anger, forgive (while not condoning the act), accept and let go. The tremor stops.
It seems so obvious when you think about it but how many of us have ever considered that we are hurting ourselves again and again by repeating the incident or argument in our mind, but ironically have little or no effect on the other person?
We are asked if we blame "circumstances" for the limitations in our life when really the blocks are of our own making. By holding onto anger, long after the event has passed, we turn ourselves into the victim.
The `broken record' effect means that we fester in our sub conscious minds negative emotions (the subconscious mind does not distinguish between vivid imagination and reality) so that we end up viewing the world through grey tinted lenses of past experience.
Although at times the subject matter is intimidating, Ms Stefanino manages to inform and entertain her reader. I smiled at the image of her, immaculately dressed slipping off her high heels to jump on a chair, gesticulating wildly to a group of tired and demotivated bankers.
She was brave - and the reader will warm to her as a result - for sharing so openly her own life experiences and personal and professional failures. Her journalistic experience has served her well throughout in more ways than one.
Through the book there are exercises and simple and effective tools for the reader to use to help them become their own Guru. Interspersed between chapters are `The Guru Success tips' pithy reminders of the previous chapter's core message.
Ms Stefanino has written an interesting and thought provoking book. She has an innate ability to engage and charm her reader. I congratulate her for keeping me interested and engaged throughout.
Janet Gallacher
Freelance Writer
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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Coming to grips with your inner self..., April 2, 2007
This review is from: Be Your Own Guru: Personal and Business Enlightenment in Just 3 Days! (Paperback)
Is it always necessary to find someone to help you solve your problems? Is it possible to have the tools to diagnose and fix your own issues? Olivia Stefanino contends the answer is "yes" in the book Be Your Own Guru: Personal and Business Enlightenment in Just 3 Days! This was a fun read with a lot of food for thought...
Contents:
Introduction - The Banker
Section 1 - Me! Me! Me!: Meeting the delegates; Why most training simply doesn't work; Jenny dumps her emotional baggage; Why healing the past is the only way to guarantee a great future!; Pete turns stress to his advantage; Getting to the real cause of stress; Matt discovers the childhood reason for his shaking hands; Learning to deal with negative emotions
Section 2 - Free! Free! Free!: Discovering the amazing power of the subconscious mind!; Getting to grips with what makes you tick; Experiencing the mind/body connection; Using your body to read your mind; Learning to talk the talk; Watch your language; Death is our teacher; It's only when you can face death that you're ready to live; Are you simply a figment of your imagination?; Are you the product of your history or your potential?
Section 3 - You! You! You!: Different views, same world; It's our differences which make live so exciting; Using intuition and energy to create phenomenal relationships; The Banker announces the results for the pilot project; Afterword
Section 4 - Tools! Tools! Tools!: Tools to be your own guru; The Self Journey (using PEAR), The Relationship Journey (using PEAR), The Soul Journey
Index
Stefanino takes an interesting approach to presenting her material. The book is structured as a story about her working with a group of sub-par employees at a company. Her friend "The Banker" gives her the job with the condition that she only has three days worth of time to work her magic. She accepts the challenge and proceeds to guide the people through some challenging exercises that explore their inner selves and limiting beliefs. The chapters alternate between the story and the principles that were just exhibited. Because the format brings personality and being into the material, it's hard not to find yourself thinking about your own circumstances as you read along. The PEAR process is one that I felt was extremely powerful to apply in your life. It's a conversation you have with yourself, but it's focused on the person you see in the mirror. It starts with Expression, stating the negativity you feel towards yourself. Forgiveness comes next. You forgive yourself for the feelings you've lived with. Acceptance follows, followed by Love. This same technique is also applied to relationships with others, with the additional step of Letting Go at the end. Letting this pent-up emotion out can be painful and difficult, but living with the anger is more damaging than you can ever imagine.
I enjoyed this book a lot. It's a bit more "touchy-feely" than I normally go for, but the practical application with the characters made it something that was vivid and real rather than fluffy and ethereal. If you're wondering why you can't break through some of your personal and professional roadblocks, you might well find the answer here...
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