Customer Reviews

Beam Me Up, Jesus: A Heathen's Guide to the Rapture

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

If you're one who believes that religion, regardless of its intentions, is largely man made claptrap then this book is for you. The author serves up an absolutely hilarious dismemberment of the whole second coming, end of times, rapture mythology that is metastasizing through large parts of American culture.
If you're a 'believer' on the other hand you will probably not be amused.

What passes for comedy these days (Will Ferrel vehicles, MTV Prank shows) makes an intelligent comedy lover cringe. Well, cringe no more. Jim Gerard's "Beam Me Up, Jesus" is the real thing. Gerard has an uncanny knack for finding exactly the right set-up for his seemingly neverending supply of punch lines. This book is a wonderful skewering of the evangelical right. I can't think of any single group of people who are simultaneously so self-righteous and so dangerous - and therefore deserving of such rich ridicule.

Jim Gerard has obviously read and been influenced by great humor writers like James Thurber, Woody Allen, and S.J. Perelman. But he is for our times. For all times. And with this book, for the end times as well.

I hope this is just the tip of the iceberg for Gerard. Something tells me there's plenty more where this came from.

Truly tears-in-your-eyes funny -- hip and smart. A little bit Bill Maher, a little bit Sarah Silverman, but still original and fresh. If Bill O'Reilly sees this, he'll forget all about Rosie and have material for the next 25 "Factors".

No, I'm not a Christian rapture-ist and I actually wanted very much to like this book. After all, the size and influence of the fundamentalist Christian movement in this country are immense, apparently extending all the way into the White House and the Oval Office. I know this is just my own humble opinion, but I find this scary and depressing.

So I do believe that a good, clear, *well-researched* "guide to the Rapture" by a non-believer would be timely and useful to those of us who don't embrace the notion that one day Jesus will issue a call and naked believers' bodies will fly upward toward heaven, etc., not to mention the roles of the "mark of the beast" and the rest of the nonsense contained in the Book of Revelations.

And yes, this book could be humorous, but in my own view, most of the humor would derive naturally from the peculiarity of the doctrines and beliefs that comprise Rapture Christianity. Instead, however, author Jim Gerard has apparently done only a small amount of research and then has embellished his meager findings with a whole lot of kooky commentary and absurdist tangents. It's a kind of Dave Barry-esque treatment, and for me it just did not work. In some places it's actually difficult to differentiate between what is truly strange or funny about the Rapture community and what is merely "schtick" added by Gerard to beef up his chapters and evoke readers' guffaws.

Some people obviously enjoy this type of humor, and hey, more power to 'em. I just found the book to be unacceptably thin on actual material and way, way too long on contrived one-liners.

I just read Beam Me Up in page proofs and I was bowled over. It's a laugh-out-loud Up-Yours! aimed straight at the black heart of the Christian Taliban and all those men and women of faith for whom the "King of Peace" is a semiauto-wielding psychopath and who get their cookies off envisioning of everyone who doesn't agree with them suffering eternal torment. BMUJ proves that humor is the best medicine, especially when the disease is pig-ignorance and a misanthropy so profound that it would gladly see the world go up in flames just for a chance to say "I told you so." I don't know who this Gerard guy is, but if he's got more where Beam Me Up came from I'd say he's got a brilliant future ahead of him.

"Beam Me Up, Jesus" by Jim Gerard is a rapturously funny send-up of the End Times, a user's guide and self-help manual for the Left Behind leaners among us. Gerard surveys a post-Tribulation landscape where 666 is a product branding name and smoke belching horse locusts cramp everyone's dance card. Mr. Gerard wants us to know that the Revelation will be televised and that its corporate sponsors are the same evangelical capitalists who have re-imagined Jesus as a huckster for Deal or No Deal or perhaps Who Wants to Marry my Magdalene. "Beam me Up" is a good old fashion Apocalyptic rant. The book is a must read for those who favor a night at the Algonquin Hotel in the company of the College of Cardinals (or better still, the 1946 Saint Louis Cardinals), Tammy Faye Bakker and John of Patmos. Read it today.

BEAM ME UP, JESUS is too funny. This book is perfect for anyone who's sick of fundamentalist insanity!

"Beam Me Up, Jesus" reminds me of Woody Allen's writing: Clever, caustic, informed and insightful. It's been a while since I laughed out loud reading a book in public...

If you think religion has held parts of the US captive --as well as many parts of the world, this book is for you.

I read this after perusing the splendidly hilarious "Who moved my secret?",also penned by Gerard.I consider myself spiritual and a practicing Christian in an empiric sense.Yet ,I was able to laugh at the staunch rigidity and half-baked theologies satirized in these pages ,since the author was at least somewhat careful to focus his derision on the self-righteous proselytes and the misguided acolytes as opposed to the Deity. This is an extremely talented writer who has burst onto the scene and is taking no prisoners.He reminds me of a cross between H.L. Mencken and George S. Kaufman. Although the title was somewhat unsettling to my Christian sensibilities, yet I was able to guffaw and even roar at various parts of this work.Who knows, perhaps I`ll be repenting afterward but this opus was sinfully funny!