Bear v. Shark: The Novel [Hardcover]

Chris Bachelder (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 23, 2001

"So it's kind of like a parlor game, then?... The question is apparently of Ancient Eastern extraction.... It seems to be a gut thing. The answer just feels right and then you come up with reasons.... Given a relatively level playing field -- i.e., water deep enough so that a Shark could maneuver proficiently, but shallow enough so that a Bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity -- who would win in a fight between a Bear and a Shark?" In this brilliant satire of our media-saturated culture, the sovereign nation of Las Vegas -- the entertainment capital of the world -- is host to Bear v. Shark II. After a disappointing loss in the first matchup between the land and the sea, the bear is back with a vengeance and out for blood. All of America is obsessed with the upcoming spectacle, so tickets are hard to come by. With an essay entitled "Bear v. Shark: A Reason to Live," young Curtis Norman wins a national writing contest and four tickets to the event. The Normans load up their SUV and embark on a road trip to Vegas. As they head cross-country, the family is besieged by a dizzying barrage of voices: television and radio personalities, public service announcements, bear and shark pundits, Freudians, theologians, and self-published authors, in addition to the Bear v. Shark fanatics, cultists, and resisters they meet at roadside gas stations and restaurants. Overwhelmed by factoids, statistics, and ten-second debates, the Normans -- along with the rest of country -- can't seem to get their facts straight, much less figure out a way to actually communicate with one another. Sound bites and verbal tics predominate; misheard, misunderstood, andjust plain mistaken information is absorbed, mangled, and regurgitated to hilarious effect; and the most inane subjects -- from the disappearance of Dutch culture to the Shakespearean bias toward the bear -- are vigorously and obsessively debated. These meaningless exchanges of misinformation leave Mr. Norman disenchanted, world-weary, and ambivalent about the impending show, but the family eventually makes it to Vegas for an apocalyptic and surprisingly emotional ending. Written in quick, commercial-like segments that mirror the media it satirizes, Chris Bachelder's debut is a fiercely funny, razor-sharp novel about the odd intersection of zealotry and trivia, about the barriers to human connection in a society that values entertainment above all else. Through a clever act of novelistic subterfuge, Bachelder makes us laugh at our penchant for absurd and useless information while drawing us into a dazzling spectacle of his own imagination.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Reading like Don DeLillo on acid, Bachelder's brilliant, bizarre debut is a futuristic one-joke novel about a whimsical confrontation between two unlikely predators. The premise is simple: "Bear v. Shark" is a monster pay-per-view event staged in Las Vegas in which a bear and a shark fight it out in a tank of water deep enough for the shark to maneuver efficiently, but shallow enough to give the bear an even chance to hold its own. Most of the novel consists of Bachelder examining the event via an acidic, over-the-top running commentary and skewering American culture and the consumer-driven media overload that dominates modern life. The plot, such as it is, covers the cross-country journey of the Normans, a numbed-out, statistically average family who acquire tickets to the show when one of the two sons wins a promotional essay contest about the significance of the event. The story line has some mildly entertaining moments like Bachelder's depiction of Mr. Norman's growing existential ennui as he rounds the bend into a midlife dominated by the advertising-driven acquisition of contemporary gadgets and possessions. What makes the novel work, though, is the author's thought-provoking commentary, alternately hysterical, penetrating and weird, as he discusses weather channels, breakfast cereals, ESP TV and some of the other flotsam and jetsam that appears over the airwaves. Bachelder paints himself into a corner with an anticlimactic ending that hinges on the outcome of the battle, and the paper-thin plot doesn't hold up. But there's plenty of meat in the satiric humor and over-the-top commentary, making this a wildly entertaining cultural roller-coaster ride. Agent, Lisa Bankoff. (Nov.)Forecast: Reviewers will relish this novel, and if they do a good job getting a buzz started, it should do reasonably well, though a flashier jacket might have helped sales.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

It's the near future (we still have SUVs, but now our TVs don't have "off" buttons), and the U.S. is obsessed by one question: given a water level that would allow a shark to swim without keeping a bear from deft maneuvering, which one would win if they had a fight--the bear or the shark? The answer lies in the sovereign nation of Las Vegas, where bear and shark will go fin to paw in a computer-animated--it's "realer than real"--rematch (the shark won the first time around). The story--written in short episodic chapters that are sometimes transcripts of commercials, including one for the world's best "ursine porn" Web site-- follows young Curtis Norman, who won tickets for his family with his essay "Bear v. Shark: A Reason to Live." The short chapters keep the pace quick and the book funny, and the attacks on technophilic America will appeal to fans of Chuck Palahniuk and Mark Leyner. In the end, though, this first novel is eerily similar to the cultural phenomena it so relentlessly satirizes: hugely entertaining but not particularly deep. John Green
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Scribner (October 23, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743219465
• ISBN-13: 978-0743219464
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #427,251 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining, Intelligent Skewering of Informercials and TV, November 12, 2001

By 

M. JEFFREY MCMAHON "herculodge" (Torrance, CA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Bear v. Shark: The Novel (Hardcover)

If you like The Simpsons and The Onion and were waiting for a brilliant young novelist with that sensibility to incorporate that kind of satirical aim with silky prose, loaded with original aphorisms and biting observations about infomercials and an entire culture drugged by TV hype, I suspect you will like this novel. Close to a hundred chapters with each chapter around two pages, this novel is comprised of potent epigrams that made me sometimes think I was listening to one of my favorite comediens Steve Wright or at other times watching my favorite cartoon The Simpsons, or at other times reading something from The Onion. As far as plot goes, a family goes to Vegas to watch a pay per view special event, what is a hyped up battle between a bear and a shark, hence the title. Of course, this premise is simply the excuse to write his satire. If you read "page turners" in the sense of "what happens next?", then this is not your kind of novel. But if you love the humor of Steve Wright, The Simpsons, and The Onion and appreciate incredible writing style and polish, I'm almost sure you'll love this novel, as I do.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant Satire, April 6, 2005

By 

John E. Davidson (Purley) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Bear v. Shark: The Novel (Paperback)

I really enjoyed this excellent satire on the media, however it may not be for everybody.

There is something intrinsically difficult about satirising one type of media in another. Bachelder attempts to get around the problem by using a very fragmented structure - there are lots of very brief chapters (usually only a page or two) and even within the chapters the style is highly fragmented. He often appears to be attempting to create the sensation of media and information overload, interweaving multiple threads simultaneously (internal monologues, conversations, radio shows, baseball scores). For me, he succeeds most of the time but the style is occasionally a little wearing. It helps that the book is packed with cultural and historical jokes - often delivered in the form of malapropisms - constantly making the point that information does not equal knowledge.

The book is set in the near future where the media, primarily television and the Internet, are even more all pervasive than today. Televisions sense that the viewer is bored and changes the channel automatically. Everybody is on-line all the time. It is a future with zero attention span.

Bear v Shark is the question/joke/theme that runs through the book. "Given a relatively level playing field -- i.e., water deep enough so that a shark could manoeuvre proficiently but shallow enough so that a bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity -- who would win in a fight between a bear and a shark?" In this future Bear v Shark has overwhelmed the culture, it has become the 'eternal question'. It is the only thing anybody seems to be interested in. Society is split between shark followers and bear followers (only a small minority of weirdoes is undecided).

The plot (to the extent that there is one) follows the Norman family on their way to the (next) big event of the century: Bear v Shark II. Bear v Shark II is a fight between a computer-generated bear and a computer-generated shark (a real bear and a real shark would not be realistic enough) to be held in Las Vegas (which has seceded from the rest of the USA). The plot is not really important and the characters are merely ciphers; they exist purely to drive the satire. This is not a character led drama; in fact I found it difficult to feel anything at all about the Norman family.

A successful, original, thought provoking satire. Highly recommended.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A first look at a promising young author, November 11, 2001

By 

Dennis Sweeney (Ellicott City, Maryland USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Bear v. Shark: The Novel (Hardcover)

Bear v. Shark is one of the most clever books I have read in the last decade, combining wit with a complex satire of American consumer culture. The novel is mostly excellent, taking us on a road trip with an average American family, the Normans, on their way to see Bear v. Shark II, the biggest cultural event ever. Intertwined in the main story are small commercial-like segments that mostly elaborate on the Bear v. Shark question. The book is fast paced, and a quick read for a book that is 256 pages.

However, it is by no means perfect. Bear v. Shark slows to a grind in Part 2, written entirely as an interview between the author and a futuristic talk show personality (it works better than it should, but good writing can't help the gimmicky style used). Things pick up in part III though, bringing the book right to its violent, apocolyptic end.

I finished the book in two sittings, making it an ideal light read for those looking for something more challenging than the latest Clancy/Grisham novel. Chris Bachelder is a talented young author, and maybe next time around he can improve upon the winning formula.