Customer Reviews

The Beauties and the Beast

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Oh, man. This is one stinker of a movie - I'm talking moldy old Limburger cheese funk. The only thing more pointless than the film itself is my actually taking the time to write a review of it. Let's just be frank about this thing - if you're looking at this particular movie listing, it can only be for one of two reasons: Uschi Digard and/or the reference to girls in a nudist camp that seems to be in every plot summary out there. I hate to break it to you, but that whole nudist camp thing is a lie; you will see nude women in this film, but any nudist camp fantasies you have will not play out here. At least Uschi Digard is actually in the film, though - believe me, that's the only thing Beauties and the Beast has going for it.

For those who don't know, Uschi Digard is best known for two things, both of which she carried with her at all times and frequently exhibited. (I don't have to draw you a map here, do I?) She's probably the most famous nudie girl of the 1970s, and Beauties and the Beast is just one of many softcore films in her filmography. Watching this movie now is almost painful, though - I mean, it's just so bad in every way possible. You really have to put this kind of thing in context, as it was a completely different era. Back then, hot naked women weren't just a click away; this kind of movie actually served a purpose when it was released. Now, it's nothing more than mind-numbingly boring, thoroughly pointless, and incredibly non-erotic junk.

The actual plot of this film is laughable. It starts out with this Bigfoot creature (who looks like a mangy Burt Reynolds - if he still had his own hair and really let himself go for a couple of years) kidnapping these girls who show up in the woods to sunbathe nude or engage in some - well, let's just call it frolicking - with their hippy boyfriends. When Uschi's character and a friend drive up to spend the weekend in an isolated cabin, you naturally assume that the story is going to be about Bigfoot's attempt to add these girls to his collection - WRONG. For no reason, the girls meet and hang out with a group of hippies, and eventually find themselves threatened over some stupid-looking coins that may or may not be in the hands of a nearby hermit. As you can see, this plot totally implodes in the first few minutes, producing such radioactive fallout as a hippie folk song.

Normally, I would give Uschi a point just for being Uschi, but I'm pretty sure that my soul would be tortured for eternity if I dared give Beauties and the Beast anything better than the worst possible rating.

I found it to be most interesting altogether the yeti makes off with 4 women taking the first three back to his lair with one escaping, then he finds another girl with her boyfriend having a picnic with there clothes off, the monster abducts her also and plays around with her for a bit while she is unconscious. all together i thought this was a decent movie. some scenes are ridiculious but over all i would not hesitate to reccomend this movie to someone else.

The movie starts with a mysteriously strange narrator, who never materializes again in the movie, who sits concealed by bushes, squatting with binoculars, and declares to us; "The story we are about to see, is VERY real."

Ah, I guess some things never change.

I'm forced to check out the movie and seek immediate medical attention, putting my Bigfoot activities on hold until I complete a course in powerful antibiotics. Bigfoot abducts naked women and keeps them captive in a Bigfoot cave. A pointless Bigfoot movie. A pointless movie.

When I bought this one I knew what I was getting. When I watched the first five minutes my thoughts were correct and I was satisfied. The soundtrack is hillarious the acting is bad , some of the audio was absolutley atrocious in a few sequences and the picture a bit orange(worth a purchase as long as you don't pay much).I could have rated this five stars but I swear there's scenes missing.Most likely from lost or damaged reels. I can't imagine they would have cut parts out as it seems relevant to the script or lack there of. Some characters just dissapear with out a trace, never to be seen again.Questions go unanswered(as if u could care) without explaination. Anyway it just makes the storyline or drug hazed banter even funnier. The dream sequence of one of the girls was down right funny as s##t.

EVERY GOOD MOVIE. I WOULD LIKE IT LITTLE BITE SCAREY AND MORE NUDE FEMALE AND SEX.

Excellent movie, lots of girl lifting, being carried, captured, taken the bigfoot's cave. strongly suggest u buy it.