Customer Reviews

Beautiful Girls Pt. 1

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I won't waste time describing what this sounds like, because I'm going to take it for granted that you've heard this "Beautiful Girls" atrocity already. You turn on the radio and it's THERE - the lazy, uninspired "Stand By Me" riff (he actually heard it one day and thought it would be good to sample - God, how cynical is THAT?), not to mention his stupid, faux-Jamaican accent, with a voice that sounds like a frog holding its nose. You turn on any music channel and he's THERE, with a fat, grinning face only a mother could regret squeezing out. So, yes, we all know of this song.

And what a piece of garbage it really is. For one, the actual lyrics make NO sense. Call me old-fashioned, but I expect that when someone sings a song, whether they wrote it or not, you can't just punch holes in it the minute you hear it. That's why I wouldn't expect, say, Prince, to start singing about his time in World War II, or for Michael Jackson to sing songs about having sex with someone he wouldn't go to prison for. That's just common sense, right?

So you'll forgive me for laughing at Sean Kingston then. One of the lines contains this classic: "It was back in '99, watching movies all the time, oh when I went away for doing my first crime." Uh-huh. Did I mention Sean is actually 17 years old? So, um, he was put in jail when he was nine, was he? That can't be true. Or is it just that "crime" rhymes easily with "nine" and so it was too tempting to use? Ding - right answer.

And then there's the chorus, which, for the baffling success of this song, seems to have won the hearts of a million stupid girls the world over. "You'll have me suicidal when you say its over." Awww - how sweet. Although isn't that train of thought along the same lines as "if you leave me I'm going to slit my wrists." Sniff - how romantic - in a creepy, rabid, desperate sort of way.

You know what, though? I'm not too bothered about Sean Kingston. True, he's a below-average talent with a rubbish song and a worse pretend accent, but I think we can all agree that we're not really going to be dealing with him after this one hit single. He's such an obvious one-trick pony he might has well have a nosebag over his face. Which he probably wouldn't mind much...

I think not, words cannot describe the absolute contempt that I hold this song. Why on earth is it rammed down our throats almost every hour on daytime radio. Avoid at all costs.