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Beauty Queens
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35 of 39 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon May 17, 2011
Format: HardcoverVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
The most important thing to know before reading Beauty Queens is that this novel does not take itself seriously at all. It's a satirical take on the world of pageantry, and how society is forced to live up to ridiculous beauty standards and personal beliefs. The book begins with a plane crash on a remote desert island, but it's nowhere near as dramatic as the beginning of Lost: The Complete Collection or even Lord of the Flies. Instead, it's written very tongue and cheek and you'll find it very hard not to chuckle your way through it. Only a small group of beauty queen contestants for the Teen Dream pageant are left. Taylor (Miss Texas) beats out Adina by just a few votes to lead the group. Instead of focusing on survival and rescue, Taylor wants the girls to continue with practicing for the pageant. Adina, an undercover teen reporter, thinks this is a foolish decision and that they need to learn how to keep themselves alive until rescue comes.

At first some of the girls might come off as shallow and not worth the time to even read Beauty Queens, but soon enough the reader learns that these girls are not what they seem. In fact, most of them (with the exception of Taylor) have bigger dreams than winning some stupid teenage pageant. Now forced to make decisions on their own, the Teen Dream contestants begin to explore friendship, sexuality, and what it really means to be beautiful.

Beauty Queens is quite the departure from the Gemma Doyle Trilogy, and was quite different than how I expected it would be. I appreciated how Bray pokes fun at society's obsession with looks, brands, and mainstream television, but I couldn't help feeling it was just slightly too over the top. She makes her point, and she makes it well, but in doing so it takes away the humanity of the characters. Because of this, I stopped thinking of the characters as actual people and more as representations of an idea.

Bray is definitely a talented writer, and I am amazed at the broad scope of her writing. Though Beauty Queens isn't what I'd personally consider her best work, it's still a fun, hilarious romp in the jungle with some very dynamic teenage girls who just happen to represent types of people that are often misunderstood by society even today.
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21 of 26 people found the following review helpful
on April 29, 2011
Format: HardcoverVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
After reading Going Bovine I just had to give Libba Bray another shot. Her thoughtful, funny, heartbreaking take on "Mad Cow Disease" intrigued and moved me. I couldn't believe her latest YA geared novel would revolve around Beauty Queens, of all things! But, she pulls it off splendidly!

Beauty Queens is one of those rare books that makes you laugh out loud AND keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time. This book is a highly amusing and engaging story of beauty queens that crash land on an island. Bray has such a quirky way with her storytelling! I love that this felt like 'LOST' meets 'Miss America'.

There are a lot of slap-stick moments throughout that teens will enjoy and also a handful of more mature elements and issues that the girls face throughout the story and they all keep the reader glued to the pages and involved in the plot. I really enjoyed every second of this and that truly surprised me! The cover alone was enough to make me cringe but I have to admit that this was one truly enjoyable reading experience!
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format: HardcoverVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
I have a love/hate relationship with pageants. I love all of the glitz and glamour but hate that there's not a whole lot of individuality to it. I love that they give girls a chance to become assertive, but I hate (REALLY hate) that it involves so much liberal application of spray tans and unrealistic amounts of makeup. The pageant world is a complicated affair where there are both pros and cons, which makes it such a perfect world to satirize. They make their own stereotypes without even trying, both in the pro and anti pageant groups.

Where the book goes wrong is in the delivery of its message. It's so heavy handed that the reader is never really given the chance to make their own choices about beauty pageants or how women can self actualize themselves. We're given one message that's crammed down our throats so thoroughly that it's actually pretty irritating, especially considering that our main character Adina (who is thoroughly anti-pageant and never really accepts any differing viewpoints) isn't that likable of a character. It also doesn't help that there's never any satirizing of the anti-pageant viewpoint like there was the pro-pageant viewpoint. Just as there are stereotypical pageant queens who believe that the only way to greatness is through a mascara brush, there are anti-pageant people who are overly rabid in their attempts to eliminate pageants and I felt that the elimination of this is what made the book so one-sided. In Bray's good intentioned attempt to write a book about female empowerment she forgot that the most basic form of empowerment is the ability to choose for ourselves what we want to believe. If someone wants to choose to tap dance across a pageant stage in a red sequined bikini then that's her right to choose so and she shouldn't be made to feel like less of a woman because she doesn't fit someone else's idea of "enlightenment". (The reverse is also true: nobody should be made to feel that they are less of a woman because they *don't* want to tap dance in a sequined pageant bikini.) What makes all of this the more aggravating is that I know that Bray never intended for her book to come across as "all pageants are evil, you can never find yourself unless you live and think exactly as Adina does". In the afterword she's mentioned that she would watch pageants as a kid (she sounds like she views pageants in much of the same light I do), but the book came across as though she'd really only ever watched Toddlers and Tiaras. (A show featuring awful pageant parents but not representative of pageant kids and parents as a whole.)

There are some fun parts to this book and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't experience a few giggles during the book. I appreciate the message that the book is trying to get across and I know that there are some who will really enjoy this read. I just can't help but feel that this book didn't live up to its full potential. I did get the impression that this would have been better served in a visual format (aka: a movie), though.

In the end I can't help but feel that this book could have been more than what it was. I know I'm going to get comments saying I didn't "get" the book, but this book was just too one-sided for me.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon July 20, 2011
Format: HardcoverVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
I've read all of Libba Bray's books so far, and have enjoyed most of them. Well, sort of. After her last book, I decided that her style just isn't my taste and figured that would be that. But then I read the summary above. Sounds fantastic, right? Plus, the cover is hysterical. So, I got sucked into reading this book. And...

...Libba Bray's style just isn't my taste. I know this now, clearly and unmistakably, and I won't be picking up another of her books. So, keeping that in mind, here are my thoughts about Beauty Queens.

I will fully admit that I was mesmerized by beauty pageants when I was a kid. All those women looked so glamorous and perfect, and I thought they must have had better lives than mine. As I got older, I learned what pageant life is really like, and that completely changed the way I saw them. Beauty Queens is a spoof on pageants, and parts of it were very entertaining. Such as, Miss Texas's determination to keep practicing her walk, rehearsing for the show, and quizzing herself on interview questions despite the fact that only a fraction of the contestants survived the plane crash. Plus, a search of the plane turned up as many beauty products as food and water. Those are such obvious clichés that they're funny, and the story is chock full of them.

The parts I had difficulty with are specifically Bray's style. She takes reality and turns it around to the point that it's so clearly not possible and becomes funny. Well, funny for those who like that kind of humor. Beauty Queens is in the vein of Austin Powers meets The Naked Gun. I didn't care for either movie, and, hence, didn't care for this story. A girl with a tray sticking out of her head (but suffers from no medical trauma other than her 'look' is ruined) and snakes that snarf people like in cartoons just isn't my cup of tea.

Even more so, that kind of humor sets the tone of the book. So, later on when things start getting pretty far `out there,' I have no idea how to process it. Is Bray still trying to be funny, or is she trying to mix in a deeper message? If the latter, then the message got muddled in the crazy humor. At least, for me it did. I prefer a different balance of depth and humor.

That said, I have friends who would think this kind of thing is funny, and I'd definitely recommend this book to them and anyone else with a similar taste in humor. If you're not so keen on slapstick, though, you might want to skip it.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon March 15, 2012
Format: Audio CD
This review is for the audio CD edition of the book. Because there are so many reviews of the book itself, I will concentrate my review on the audiobook features.

I really enjoy listening to books narrated by the author because then I get to hear the voices as the author intended them, rather than as I imagine them. This is particularly important in this book as the voices the author chose for the characters go a long way toward defining those characters.

Some of the voices are funny in a political sense. Teen listeners may not recognize Lady Bird Hope's voice as a recent Alaskan governor and potential Presidential candidate but it made me laugh. I also enjoyed when Shanti's accent changed partway through the book. There were some voices that didn't quite work for me. I was never sure what country the younger guys were supposed to have come from -- their accents were a bit of a mishmash (even the author admits those are not her best).

A book with a lot of footnotes and commercial breaks can be tricky to do as an audiobook. The producers here solved it with a musical tone to announce something different so I always knew when the narration was a footnote.

The announcement of the disc number was also a pleasant surprise. Rather than being simply announced, the author chose to have the character Tiara (a sweet but dumb girl with a voice to match) announce the disc numbers in character such as "disc number 7, that's the number of calories I am allowed at breakfast."

Although I am not generally discussing the book itself, I wanted to let parents know there are some more mature themes to be aware of for younger readers or if they want to monitor sex and violence in their children's reading. One of the characters is transgender, one is gay and another is bi-sexual. Several of the characters have sex.

And although the violence in the book generally comes off more cartoonish than scary, there is a good bit of violence and killing in the book and a bunch of it is done by one of the beauty queens who becomes more than a little deranged.

I thought the book was hilarious but also had some interesting moments when the beauty queens let the reader see the issues they had and how they learned to work together and not always be in competition.
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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful
on May 31, 2011
Format: Hardcover
From my blog Never Gonna Grow Up! Reviews:
Take pure silly fun, mix in some witty satire, and wrap it all up in a sparkly tiara and you have Libba Bray's "Beauty Queens". This book is over the top, crazy and absolutely priceless. I enjoyed every minute and found myself laughing out loud (which I rarely do) throughout.

It's the story of a group of competitive girls, stranded on a remote island, forced to figure out how to survive. They were vying for the Teen Dream crown, but now it's for their lives. Meanwhile, there is something fishy going on. One of the girls spots lights coming from the other side of the island and also - why hasn't anyone rescued them yet? In this world, things are run by "The Corporation" from what you watch on TV to what detergent you buy. Scattered throughout the book are little ads, interviews, and other randomness related to "The Corporation" and its products. How is "The Corporation" involved and can the girls survive without hot boys, lip gloss and flat irons? Well, you'll just have to read to find out.

Before I go on, I have a confession to make. I'm a former teen pageant girl. I was Miss Wisconsin Teen America for two consecutive Miss Teen America pageants. Yeah, I'm that cool. So, this book connected with me. It reminded me of the adventures I went through as a teen. I never really went any further with pageantry, but I went to a lot of them during "my reign". Libba Bray's characters did remind me of some of the interesting people I met during my pageant days. Though most of the girls I met were incredibly sweet and intelligent young ladies (and are still my friends today!), I met my fair share of characters too. Ahh.. the good ol' days.

Libba Bray's word play is brilliant. She plays it overly sweet with a bitter aftertaste. I love the character of "The Corporation" telling the story and the little footnotes, commercial breaks, and interviews thrown in throughout the novel. Ms. Bray also really plays up pop culture stereotypes. There is your smarty pants, your goody two-shoes, your lesbian, your transgender, etc. They are all portrayed in here. Yes, they are all pretty simple, but when dealing with a large cast in a satirical young adult novel, that's bound to happen. I was browsing around online and saw some people bashing on the stereotypes. Um, it's an over-the-top comedy, people. Take a chill pill. You need to come into this book looking for fun and cynicism. If that isn't your cup of tea, then move on, bucko! This book is NOT for you. It also deals with issues like drugs, violence, and sex so be sure to review it before passing it along to younger readers. I'm not really sure they'd get a lot of the satire either. Best to keep this for your older teen and adult readers.

I could go on and on about how much I enjoyed reading "Beauty Queens". This book is seriously too much fun and if you have an awesome sense of humor, like me (ha!), you should check out this book today. You will get to learn about fantastic products such as "Lady `Stache Off" and read great song lyrics like "I'm your emo eunuch". Seriously, does it get any better than that?

I received a copy of "Beauty Queens" by Libba Bray from the publisher for review. It is scheduled to be released to be released today (May 24th) by Scholastic.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on June 12, 2013
Format: Paperback
I was SO excited to read this, I thought it was going to be like the wonderfully black-humored and campy film Drop Dead Gorgeous with Kirsten Dunst, Denise Richards and Kirstie Alley (http://www.amazon.com/Drop-Dead-Gorgeous-Kirsten-Dunst/dp/0780628306).

There were certainly things I liked about the book but ultimately I was really disappointed and put off by the stereotypes and one-sided moralizing. This is a book about young women "finding themselves" on a desert island, but what is ironic about it is that even though they start out with different outlooks in the beginning of the book, by the end of it they all seem to be on the same page with pretty much the same outlook, one that happens to be ultra PC. That seems a lot more like brainwashing than individualism.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format: HardcoverVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
I fell in love with Beauty Queens as soon as I read the synopsis. And then I impatiently waited months until it finally arrived on my doorstep. I pounced on it, read the entire thing in one sitting and found that my initial love was completely warranted. Beauty Queens is exactly what you expect from the synopsis and yet something so much deeper.

I expected a funny read and Beauty Queens did not disappoint. The humor was the kind that you don't exactly laugh, but kind of smirk to. It wasn't exactly the back-biting digs I expected from beauty queens, but a more subtle approach of letting the characters speak for themselves and allowing you to be the one to mock them (in your head, of course).

What truly blew me away was something I never saw coming - the fact that Beauty Queens is a novel stuffed with social issues. Social issues novels tend to be downers, and Beauty Queens is definitely not - even given the subject matter. The girls are messed up. Not from the crash, but from life in general. They're all competing for their own reasons, and the revelation of some of the motivating factors are pretty shocking. More than that, there is a strong female empowerment message here. Once the girls really start connecting and opening up to each other, they realize their sick of being "good" girls. They don't necessarily want to be bad girls, but they want the freedom to be themselves. As the girls come to terms with what that means, readers will likely be caught up in the idea right along with them. I'm a grown adult and this book had me wanting to stop behaving as I'm expected to. It was inspiring without ever seeming as though it was trying to be anything other than entertaining.

You'll find something unexpected in every page of Beauty Queens. It's chick lit, social issues, humor, action, adventure, survival, and body glitter packed into 400 pages of awesome.
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20 of 27 people found the following review helpful
Format: Hardcover
An airplane carrying fifty Miss Teen Dream contestants crashes on a
desert island. Unfortunately, there are survivors--but the reader
will not be one of them.

In this 400 page--FOUR HUNDRED PAGE--"spoof" of American beauty
pageants, the persistent--nay intrepid--reader will encounter: hunky
reality TV show pirates BOYZ WILL B BOYZ; psychotic dictator MoMo of
The Republic of ChaCha; psychotic and ruthless former MISS TEEN DREAM
crown holder Ladybird Hope, now spokeswoman for the "The [evil]
Corporation"; and the thirteen-odd surviving girls themselves, led by
dictatorial alpha-grrl Miss Texas, who eventually goes psychotic
(surprise) as she strives to keep the surviving beauties together
while awaiting rescue.

But the reader will encounter precious little plot, characterization,
or anything else of interest in BEAUTY QUEENS.. Apparently author
Libba Bray cannot decide whether this punishingly lengthy and
unintentionally fragmented story should
grope for touching and genuine or settle for hokey and absurd, but the
final result is merely ridiculous.

Ultimately the best indictment of the book comes from quoting the book itself.

Sample # 1:

COMMERCIAL BREAK

VOICEOVER
This Tuesday, on PATRIOT DAUGHTERS!

(A group of British soldiers bursts into the home of BETSY ROSS,
surrounding her and her reading circle of comely young women.)

VO. CONT'D.
Has time finally run out for Betsy and her revolutionary band of sisters?

BRITISH COMMANDER
Miss Ross, we are to arrest you for treason. You give these rebels a
symbol through your sewing, I hear. What say you to these charges?

(Betsy sheds her dressing gown. Underneath, she wears stockings and a
skimpy undershirt. The other women follow suit.)

BETSY ROSS
How could I make a flag, sir, when I seem to have run out of thread?

VO. CONT'D
She gave it all for her country--and then she gave just a little more.

Watch the show critics say "makes American history totally hot...It
takes some of the most important women of the Revolutionary War and
turns them into hellcats who fight the British with everything they've
got--and then some."

Followed by the season premiere of CAPTAINS BODACIOUS IV:
BADDER AND MORE BODACIOUSER.

(Several hunky, shirtless young men in breeches, earrings, and very
little else stand on a large ship. There seems to be a feeling of
mutiny in the air.)

PRIVATE CHU
Cor blimey, Cap'n Sinjin! We ran away from prep school for this?

CAPTAIN SINJIN
Might I remind you that we witnessed a murder and were forced to go on
the run? Believe me, I'd rather be studying for my chem final thatn
running from barmy terrorist blokes who want to kill us just because
we know too much.

PRIVATE AHMED
Captain! Starboard--look!

(Captain Sinjin puts a small telescope to his eye. When he pulls it
away, his expression is one of teen heartthrob alarm. His hair is
still perfect.)

CAPTAIN SINJIN
Gentlemen, we may get a battle yet.

FIRST MATE GEORGE
Should we oil our pecs, sir, so that we'll look fantastic during the
fight scenes?

CAPTAIN SINJIN
Indeed. Gentlemen. Glisten up those pecs! And if you've got any hair
gel for making tousled waves, now's the time to use it! We stand and
fight. But we stand and fight with hotness on our side.

VOICEOVER
PATRIOT DAUGHTERS. Tuesdays at 8. CAPTAINS BODACIOUS IV:
BADDER AND MORE BODACIOUSER at 9. Followed by a special encore
performance of CAPTAINS BODACIOUS III: THE CALL OF BOOTY at 10. Only
on The Corporation Network:
Giving you what you don't even know you want.

Sample # 2:

COMMERCIAL BREAK

(A high school hallway. A girl, MARCIA, slams her locker door in
frustration. She looks haggard. NATALIE and RACHEL stand off to one
side, watching and shaking their heads.)

RACHEL
Marcia sure is in a bad mood. And she looks awful!

NATALIE
I hear it's that time of the month.

RACHEL
I guess somebody doesn't know how much fun having your period can be
with the new Maxi-Pads Pets -- the revolutionary new fashion maxi pad
that means you feel like you've got a special friend in your pants.

MARCIA
All I've got are wings. Wings!

NATALIE
Wings are so last month! New Maxi-Pad Pets come in twelve different
pet-pal shapes so you can change your mood as often as you change your
pad!

CUT TO: Close-ups of various girls: sexy, cute, quirky, tomboy, adventurous.

Girl #1
I'm a sexy lynx--rarrrr!

Girl #2
I'm a cute, cuddly puppy!

Girl # 3
I'm a playful platypus!

Girl #4
I'm a happy hamster!

Girl #5
Guess who's got a tiger in her trousers?

CUT TO: A cup of blue liquid being poured into the belly of a Maxi-Pad Lion Cub.

NATALIE VOICEOVER
Find your perfect shape today! And Max-iPad Pets are superabsorbant.
This blue liquid shows how effective Maxi-Pad Pets are at collecting
small thimblefuls of blue liquid.

CUT TO: Marcia sitting on the sidelines in PE, glaring at her gym
teacher and cradling a huge bottle of ibuprofen.

RACHEL
So stop bothering everybody with your cramps, bloating, and
irritability, and start showing everybody how much fun you are during
that time of the month.
Your period, your Maxi-Pad Pet, your way!

CUT TO: Next day. Same hallway. A smiling Marcia is surrounded by
friends. She is the life of the party.

RACHEL
Marcia, you sure are the most popular girl in this hallway!

MARCIA
Well, everybody loves a teddy bear. (Girls laugh, Marcia gives a
thumbs-up.) Thanks, Maxi-Pad Pets!

NATALIE VO
New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period. Brought to you by The
Corporation; in your homes and in your pants.

__________

I rest my case.

I am an avid fan of teen fiction, and I review this genre with enthusiasm. So in
case I was overlooking something in BEAUTY QUEENS that only teens
could appreciate, I persuaded a well-read teen friend to take on the
task of reading this book (and I bribed her to finish it). Her
response:

"I would rather have a sea slug pulled through my entrails with a long
piece of twine, thank you very much."
To which I will add: "I should hire a personal injury law firm and sue
SCHOLASTIC PRESS for mental cruelty for publishing this book, and
Libba Bray for writing it at all."

It's a mystery that BEAUTY QUEENS ever managed to see the light of
day. Perhaps a clue to this mystery lies is in the acknowledgements
section, wherein Ms.Bray thanks her literary agent husband.for all his
help...

BEAUTY QUEENS, by Libba Bray, is just dreadful; a complete waste of
time. Save your money for something worthwhile instead, such as a
Starbucks frappucino.
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful
on June 16, 2011
Format: HardcoverVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
The plot of Beauty Queens sounds very simple on the surface: a plane full of teen beauty pageant contestants crash lands on a deserted island and must work together to survive. This could easily have just been an over-the-top comedy or book of catfights, but Bray uses her amazing skills as a story teller to turn this book in to so much more, using her sharp wit as a weapon to fight the battle for young girl's minds.

A small group of Miss Teen Dream contestants survive the plane crash and find themselves without their coaches, parents, or Corporation products, stranded on an island. Miss Texas takes charge and attempts to organize the group. She's a hardcore pageant girl and even after the crash, she has her eyes on the prize. Mixed in with the survivors is Miss New Hampshire, Adina. She is a journalist at her high school and signed up for the pageant as part of an elaborate scheme to expose it for the shallow, sexist event that it is. As the book goes on, we begin to discover the secrets and dreams of all the other girls on the island. None of them are just "pretty girls". Each of them has a life and decisions that has brought them to this point. And they will have to find their strength to survive what the island is about to throw at them.

I don't want to give to much away as this book was full of lots of wonderful surprises. At times, I found myself laughing out loud as Bray poked fun at our materialistic and beauty obsessed culture...though beneath that laugh was the sadness of how much damage has been done to women when it comes to this constant judgment put upon them. Other times, I found myself overwhelmed by the message of the book - the idea that young girls can work together, that young girls should take pride in every part of themselves, embrace their minds and bodies and be happy. It's a hard lesson that many of us still struggle to remind ourselves of every day.

Beauty Queens is an intelligent and fun read that went beyond my expectations (though I don't know why I was surprised, Bray's Going Bovine was one of my favorite books from 2009). Due to some of the content of the book, I would recommend this for readers 16 years and up. But I highly recommend getting this book into the hands of any young woman you want to learn to think outside the box and question what is sold to them on a daily basis. Bray's book is about acceptance - accepting yourself and accepting other. About separating what is sold to us with what we actually need to be happy.
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