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Beauty Queens Audible – Unabridged

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Editorial Reviews

The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. What's a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up? Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness.

©2011 Libba Bray (P)2011 Scholastic Audio

Product Details

  • Audible Audio Edition
  • Listening Length: 14 hours and 37 minutes
  • Program Type: Audiobook
  • Version: Unabridged
  • Publisher: Scholastic Audio
  • Release Date: May 24, 2011
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0052BGIWG
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 49 people found the following review helpful By Jennifer VINE VOICE on May 16, 2011
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
The most important thing to know before reading Beauty Queens is that this novel does not take itself seriously at all. It's a satirical take on the world of pageantry, and how society is forced to live up to ridiculous beauty standards and personal beliefs. The book begins with a plane crash on a remote desert island, but it's nowhere near as dramatic as the beginning of Lost: The Complete Collection or even Lord of the Flies. Instead, it's written very tongue and cheek and you'll find it very hard not to chuckle your way through it. Only a small group of beauty queen contestants for the Teen Dream pageant are left. Taylor (Miss Texas) beats out Adina by just a few votes to lead the group. Instead of focusing on survival and rescue, Taylor wants the girls to continue with practicing for the pageant. Adina, an undercover teen reporter, thinks this is a foolish decision and that they need to learn how to keep themselves alive until rescue comes.

At first some of the girls might come off as shallow and not worth the time to even read Beauty Queens, but soon enough the reader learns that these girls are not what they seem. In fact, most of them (with the exception of Taylor) have bigger dreams than winning some stupid teenage pageant. Now forced to make decisions on their own, the Teen Dream contestants begin to explore friendship, sexuality, and what it really means to be beautiful.
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17 of 20 people found the following review helpful By shortandsweet on May 31, 2011
Format: Hardcover
From my blog Never Gonna Grow Up! Reviews:
Take pure silly fun, mix in some witty satire, and wrap it all up in a sparkly tiara and you have Libba Bray's "Beauty Queens". This book is over the top, crazy and absolutely priceless. I enjoyed every minute and found myself laughing out loud (which I rarely do) throughout.

It's the story of a group of competitive girls, stranded on a remote island, forced to figure out how to survive. They were vying for the Teen Dream crown, but now it's for their lives. Meanwhile, there is something fishy going on. One of the girls spots lights coming from the other side of the island and also - why hasn't anyone rescued them yet? In this world, things are run by "The Corporation" from what you watch on TV to what detergent you buy. Scattered throughout the book are little ads, interviews, and other randomness related to "The Corporation" and its products. How is "The Corporation" involved and can the girls survive without hot boys, lip gloss and flat irons? Well, you'll just have to read to find out.

Before I go on, I have a confession to make. I'm a former teen pageant girl. I was Miss Wisconsin Teen America for two consecutive Miss Teen America pageants. Yeah, I'm that cool. So, this book connected with me. It reminded me of the adventures I went through as a teen. I never really went any further with pageantry, but I went to a lot of them during "my reign". Libba Bray's characters did remind me of some of the interesting people I met during my pageant days. Though most of the girls I met were incredibly sweet and intelligent young ladies (and are still my friends today!), I met my fair share of characters too. Ahh.. the good ol' days.

Libba Bray's word play is brilliant. She plays it overly sweet with a bitter aftertaste.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Tabitha VINE VOICE on July 20, 2011
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
I've read all of Libba Bray's books so far, and have enjoyed most of them. Well, sort of. After her last book, I decided that her style just isn't my taste and figured that would be that. But then I read the summary above. Sounds fantastic, right? Plus, the cover is hysterical. So, I got sucked into reading this book. And...

...Libba Bray's style just isn't my taste. I know this now, clearly and unmistakably, and I won't be picking up another of her books. So, keeping that in mind, here are my thoughts about Beauty Queens.

I will fully admit that I was mesmerized by beauty pageants when I was a kid. All those women looked so glamorous and perfect, and I thought they must have had better lives than mine. As I got older, I learned what pageant life is really like, and that completely changed the way I saw them. Beauty Queens is a spoof on pageants, and parts of it were very entertaining. Such as, Miss Texas's determination to keep practicing her walk, rehearsing for the show, and quizzing herself on interview questions despite the fact that only a fraction of the contestants survived the plane crash. Plus, a search of the plane turned up as many beauty products as food and water. Those are such obvious clichés that they're funny, and the story is chock full of them.

The parts I had difficulty with are specifically Bray's style. She takes reality and turns it around to the point that it's so clearly not possible and becomes funny. Well, funny for those who like that kind of humor. Beauty Queens is in the vein of Austin Powers meets The Naked Gun. I didn't care for either movie, and, hence, didn't care for this story.
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