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Beauty: An Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Outtake (A Penguin Special from Berkley) [Kindle Edition]

Laurell K. Hamilton
2.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (245 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $2.99
Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC

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Book Description

The steamy outtake that takes readers even further into Laurell K. Hamilton’s bestselling novel, Kiss the Dead.

You’d think I’d get used to seeing such a beautiful man and knowing he was mine, but it never grew old, as if his beauty and the fact that he was mine, and I was his, would forever surprise me.

With a vampire like Jean Claude around, it’s far too easy for Anita Blake to doubt her own appearance—and the hold it has on those who love her. But one hot tub and two incredibly sexy men—Jean Claude and Asher—will make her feel like the most lusted-after woman alive…or undead. Not bad for a mere human…

“Hamilton remains one of the most inventive and exciting writers in the paranormal field.”—Charlaine Harris, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author

Includes an excerpt of Kiss the Dead, the new Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter novel

Product Details

  • File Size: 280 KB
  • Print Length: 34 pages
  • Publisher: Berkley (May 8, 2012)
  • Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B007FEFCD4
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #28,075 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
392 of 413 people found the following review helpful
By Lmb
Format:Kindle Edition
1st off, DON'T PAY FOR THIS.

Technically, it's 2 stars. It was OK, not a complete - 'didn't like' - but it gets one star b'c this should be free, end of.

LKH should be ashamed of trying to milk her loyal fans out of a few quid for 20 or so pages of what this is & that is...a sex scene which made the cutting room floor. What? Her editor finally grew a set & decided to do her job & then b'c LKH hates anybody knowing better then her, decided to charge her fans for this redundant sex scene which didn't make the grade?


Here's what we get;

- We hear about the blue, blue, blue of JC's eyes.

- All the marble in the bathroom & water levels.

- Asher's blue, blue, blue outfit.

- Anita still doubting how beautiful she is & that someone as beautiful as these 2 vamps can find her beautiful.

- How she prefers to suck a flaccid penis.

- How she's still a screamer.

- That LKH still has an aversion to writing the word "come" so instead, everyone says they're "going" or "about to go" which just sounds to me like someone's about to take a dump rather than having an orgasm.

- Oh & yes...and predictably we gets the usual jab in there about all the "whiner babies" (a.k.a. readers who have turned their back on this series) who are judgmental over Anita appearing to be a raging whore with a harem of men b'c in Anita's eyes, they're all jelly.

Um, er...she is a raging wh-re but you know what would be better than her always blaming others for perceiving her this way? Just accepting that she is one! Who cares? Biatch has the Ardeur & a harem of gorgeous, willing men all raring to hitch a ride on the Anita Gravy Train. So what already?
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152 of 160 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
(this got really long, so I'm posting a very shortened version here - for a full version, you can check out [...] goodreads. com/ review/ show/ 326892112 (just take out the spaces in the address)

I love reading outtakes, especially ones that give me sexy times, especially ones with multiple partners. Throw in vampires and people topping each other, and it's an awesome combination of several of my kinks, all in one. So while I had some reservations (because let's face it, LKH hasn't exactly had luck writing good sex scenes lately), I really wanted to like this.

The actual sex scene, which starts in "chapter" two, is about 2,200 words long, and is packed with several kinks readers of the Anita Blake books probably enjoy. It takes a special skill to take a sexy threesome between loving partners, combine it with basically bulletproof kinks that the target audience enjoys, and turn out something that falls completely flat, but Beauty manages. Everything is so by-the numbers and analytical that any appeal is stripped out. The relentless in-and-out of the sex, the mindless screaming (either there's something wrong with her nervous system that makes her scream with pleasure as soon as the actual intercourse starts, or it's bad writing), combined with the clinically dry, completely sensuality-free language of the scene just falls flat and leaves me longing for something else.
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248 of 266 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars No, I'm done. May 8, 2012
By ar17
Format:Kindle Edition
As a long standing dedicated reader of Hamilton's, I have reached my limit for both her books and her apparent attitude toward her readers. We are charged an outrageous amount for handful of paragraphs, which appear to be the same re-gurgitated "erotica" we continuously see in Hamilton's novels. I'd never had a serious problem with the sex scenes in her novels, but at this point, they are so bland and technical, it reads like a manual. There is no passion, and the characters, Jean-Claude and Asher, seem to have lost everything that made them interesting, in favor of being formed into sex drones that live to please Anita. There is also a teaser from her upcoming novel, Kiss the Dead. If there was any respect for her readers, this teaser would have been posted for free on her website, like any other author who appreciates their fans does.

There's my piece. I'm done shelling my money out to this author.
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61 of 65 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Oh god, my eyes. May 11, 2012
By Kelly
Format:Kindle Edition
Not again! Honestly, I keep swearing this woman will get no more of my money and then she shows a little hope and I fork out again for the next book. Never again. Terrible. Hideous. Seven orgasms of tediousness.

Anita checks her roster of sex partners and goes to see Jean-Claude. Then group bath time with Asher; 7 orgasms later (yes 7 of them) the scene ends.

I think it works out to 50 words per orgasm.

Avoid at all costs. I don't know what happened to her, the first 9 books were so clever, and then this... B grade porn happens.
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39 of 40 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing Bit of Nothing May 10, 2012
By Ravenly
Format:Kindle Edition
After skipping over the parts I didn't want to read again I was basically left with a couple sentences. I tried to involve myself in this tidbit but kept skimming because I just cannot take another scene of Anita's whining, or description of the pretty vamps, or the static bathtub scene. Beating that horse way too long now. No passion, no build-up and just no heat whatsoever.

I remember that short in Bite, I think it was, with JC and the chocolate frosting. It was so well written that years later I can remember Anita going to the club and watching JC dance, and then going to his office to talk about a problem with Malcolm's vamps, JC flirting and little bit begging for some and it ended with Anita going to the circus an hour before dawn with a jar of chocolate frosting - very sweet. This was a really great short that was out I think a bit before NIC. It has a beginning, middle and end that was entirely satisfying.

This bit of cringe-worthy fluff was just not up to par and entirely forgettable. Should have gone back to the frosting if she keeps wanting to be topped in some way.

As for the preview chapter I should have gotten for free - also disappointing. Doesn't even get me interested in checking out KTD. How about a few sentences on what time of night is it, who is watching the interview, sneak peak of the case and so on instead of describing the vamp's eyes or her stilettos, thong and thigh highs. And the interplay of getting him to confess would have Brenda Lee reaching for the chocolate ho-hos. The anticipation is just not there for me. Bad writing - no cookie!

(Read it during work break on friend's Kindle.)
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars One word...YUM!
Laurell K. Hamilton never disappoints me! I have been an avid fan of hers for what seems like forever with the beginning of the Anita Blake series and then into the Merideth Gentry... Read more
Published 12 days ago by Stacy
3.0 out of 5 stars Beauty
To short. Needed to be longer. Just one scene not even a short story. Content so so compared to others written by author
Published 17 days ago by Holt -Thomas
4.0 out of 5 stars Pleasant change of pace
I enjoyed that this was a snippet into Anita and family trying to fit into "normal" and teaching tolerance without preaching
Published 17 days ago by e b
5.0 out of 5 stars sexy
Not any violence but lots of action. I like that this short was more about her and her two main vamps. Read more
Published 21 days ago by Andrea Danielle Wecker
2.0 out of 5 stars It'll hold me until the next novel, but...
Read the previous reviews. Got exactly what they said - not a shot or novelette, more of a vignette. Sigh.
Published 24 days ago by Cindy McMahon
1.0 out of 5 stars The book was not what I was expecting from Laurell Hamilton.
I was not looking for a sex book. I really enjoy Anita Blake as a action adventure book. It's only saving grace was the preview of her next action adventure which I purchased &... Read more
Published 29 days ago by Andy
5.0 out of 5 stars Glad Hamilton saved this!
I'm glad this small snippet was saved and she shared it with her fans. If you enjoy later season Blake you'll enjoy this, if you are looking for a revival of the first few books... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Sarah Henry
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE IT
You just have to LOVE reading Laurell K. Hamilton. She has a way with words and how a woman thinks.
Published 1 month ago by Tracy
1.0 out of 5 stars Don't waste your money
This "outtake" isn't worth the all. It's 30-40 pages of drivel that has nothing to do with better understanding the plots of any other books.
Published 1 month ago by Viking44
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun Read For A Quick Anita Blake Fix
While it leaves the reader wanting more, a good short story should do so. I was left wanting to see more of their evolving relationship, and more action of a different sort. Read more
Published 1 month ago by iolinda
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More About the Author

Laurell K. Hamilton is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of two series that mix mystery, fantasy, magic, horror and romance. Her Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter novels from Berkley Books began with GUILTY PLEASURES (now a hugely successful graphic novel from Marvel - the first sexy paranormal comic ever!) and continues with the SKIN TRADE, number seventeen in the series, in which Anita's complex personal and professional relationships with a master vampire and an alpha werewolf continue to evolve. There are now more than 6 million copies of Anita in print worldwide, in 16 languages. Hamilton's Ballantine series features Fey princess and private investigator, Merry Gentry and there are now six novels exceeding one million copies in print. Divine Misdemeanors, the eighth in the series will debut Octobe 29, 2009. She lives in St. Louis County Missouri with her husband Jonathon Green, daughter, one pug dog and one boxer/pug dog.

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Topic From this Discussion
What's it about?
Here's what LKH has tweeted about this short story, "This short story is making me all philosophical about love, beauty, reality, truth, & how well meaning lies can screw you up for life."

We'll see how appropriate this comment is once Amazon posts additional information about the... Read more
Mar 18, 2012 by Raven |  See all 23 posts
Well, you know us. :) But I'd say yeah, because it did catch my attention simply because for a change there's a sense of urgency. How it shakes out...
May 10, 2012 by John Green |  See all 18 posts
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