Beauty: An Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Outtake (A Penguin Special from Berkley) [Kindle Edition]

Laurell K. Hamilton (Author)

Book Description

The steamy outtake that takes readers even further into Laurell K. Hamilton’s bestselling novel, Kiss the Dead.

You’d think I’d get used to seeing such a beautiful man and knowing he was mine, but it never grew old, as if his beauty and the fact that he was mine, and I was his, would forever surprise me.

With a vampire like Jean Claude around, it’s far too easy for Anita Blake to doubt her own appearance—and the hold it has on those who love her. But one hot tub and two incredibly sexy men—Jean Claude and Asher—will make her feel like the most lusted-after woman alive…or undead. Not bad for a mere human…

“Hamilton remains one of the most inventive and exciting writers in the paranormal field.”—Charlaine Harris, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author

Includes an excerpt of Kiss the Dead, the new Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter novel

Product Details

• File Size: 280 KB
• Print Length: 34 pages
• Publisher: Berkley (May 8, 2012)
• Sold by: Penguin Publishing
• Language: English
• ASIN: B007FEFCD4
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Not Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #10,793 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

331 of 346 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars DON"T SPEND MONEY ON THIS. Should've been a blog freebie. May 16, 2012

By Lmb

Format:Kindle Edition

1st off, DON'T PAY FOR THIS.

Technically, it's 2 stars. It was OK, not a complete - 'didn't like' - but it gets one star b'c this should be free, end of.

LKH should be ashamed of trying to milk her loyal fans out of a few quid for 20 or so pages of what this is & that is...a sex scene which made the cutting room floor. What? Her editor finally grew a set & decided to do her job & then b'c LKH hates anybody knowing better then her, decided to charge her fans for this redundant sex scene which didn't make the grade?

Pshaw.

Here's what we get;

- We hear about the blue, blue, blue of JC's eyes.

- All the marble in the bathroom & water levels.

- Asher's blue, blue, blue outfit.

- Anita still doubting how beautiful she is & that someone as beautiful as these 2 vamps can find her beautiful.

- How she prefers to suck a flaccid penis.

- How she's still a screamer.

- That LKH still has an aversion to writing the word "come" so instead, everyone says they're "going" or "about to go" which just sounds to me like someone's about to take a dump rather than having an orgasm.

- Oh & yes...and predictably we gets the usual jab in there about all the "whiner babies" (a.k.a. readers who have turned their back on this series) who are judgmental over Anita appearing to be a raging whore with a harem of men b'c in Anita's eyes, they're all jelly.

Um, er...she is a raging wh-re but you know what would be better than her always blaming others for perceiving her this way? Just accepting that she is one! Who cares? Biatch has the Ardeur & a harem of gorgeous, willing men all raring to hitch a ride on the Anita Gravy Train. So what already?...

If that was my wish fulfillment fantasy I'd be a hooker too but you could bet I wouldn't be agitated about how the fake people in my fantasy world perceived me! Oh no. I'd be doing it six degree Kevin Bacon style without a second thought. The only one who whines is Anita. Shut the F up already.

And let me just touch on the rudimentary writing. In most paragraph's, LKH was repeating the same word about 4-5 times. That's something I tend to find in Fanfic.

For example;

I knew that Jean-Claude had killed the person who did it, just like I'd killed the people who "branded me" with my own cross-shaped burn scar on my arm. Mine was a "brand", not a holy object reacting to vampire skin, but they looked the same. The vampire wannabes that "branded me" had thought it was funny to mark me up like a vampire; they'd thought it was funny right up until they died. So who was I to throw stones that Jean-Claude had killed the person who "branded him"? Fair is fair.

or

They always looked "blue", but they were so dark. Midnight "blue" with their double edge of black eyelashes like dark lace to frame the deepest "blue" I'd ever seen in anyone's eyes. His eyes were a "blue" like deep ocean water,

Yet....yes I said yet....Anita sounded the most approachable she has in years. She actually had a slight sense of humor & there was talk of love, joy & laughter. It still didn't change the fundamentals of this little chestnut overall but hey...I expected hella' worse to be honest.

I can only guess Hamiltons' sales have been doing the downward spiral so badly that she aimed to get the Jean Claude devotees (me being one of them) back into the fold by trying to entice them with a teaser of him before the next novel released.

That's the only reason I can see for her not giving this to her fans freely. Shame on you LKH. Really. Why don't you just try writing a book worthy of all the years, money & time your fans have invested into you, your characters & their world you created?

Instead we get this pot shot.

Give us a break already. Read more ›

131 of 136 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars I suppose it could be worse, they could be using soap for lube. May 13, 2012

By P. Bozek

Format:Kindle Edition

(this got really long, so I'm posting a very shortened version here - for a full version, you can check out [...] goodreads. com/ review/ show/ 326892112 (just take out the spaces in the address)

I love reading outtakes, especially ones that give me sexy times, especially ones with multiple partners. Throw in vampires and people topping each other, and it's an awesome combination of several of my kinks, all in one. So while I had some reservations (because let's face it, LKH hasn't exactly had luck writing good sex scenes lately), I really wanted to like this.

The actual sex scene, which starts in "chapter" two, is about 2,200 words long, and is packed with several kinks readers of the Anita Blake books probably enjoy. It takes a special skill to take a sexy threesome between loving partners, combine it with basically bulletproof kinks that the target audience enjoys, and turn out something that falls completely flat, but Beauty manages. Everything is so by-the numbers and analytical that any appeal is stripped out. The relentless in-and-out of the sex, the mindless screaming (either there's something wrong with her nervous system that makes her scream with pleasure as soon as the actual intercourse starts, or it's bad writing), combined with the clinically dry, completely sensuality-free language of the scene just falls flat and leaves me longing for something else.

226 of 241 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars No, I'm done. May 8, 2012

By ar17

Format:Kindle Edition

As a long standing dedicated reader of Hamilton's, I have reached my limit for both her books and her apparent attitude toward her readers. We are charged an outrageous amount for handful of paragraphs, which appear to be the same re-gurgitated "erotica" we continuously see in Hamilton's novels. I'd never had a serious problem with the sex scenes in her novels, but at this point, they are so bland and technical, it reads like a manual. There is no passion, and the characters, Jean-Claude and Asher, seem to have lost everything that made them interesting, in favor of being formed into sex drones that live to please Anita. There is also a teaser from her upcoming novel, Kiss the Dead. If there was any respect for her readers, this teaser would have been posted for free on her website, like any other author who appreciates their fans does.

There's my piece. I'm done shelling my money out to this author.

47 of 48 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Oh god, my eyes. May 11, 2012

By Kelly

Format:Kindle Edition

Not again! Honestly, I keep swearing this woman will get no more of my money and then she shows a little hope and I fork out again for the next book. Never again. Terrible. Hideous. Seven orgasms of tediousness.

**Spoiler**
Anita checks her roster of sex partners and goes to see Jean-Claude. Then group bath time with Asher; 7 orgasms later (yes 7 of them) the scene ends.

I think it works out to 50 words per orgasm.

Avoid at all costs. I don't know what happened to her, the first 9 books were so clever, and then this... B grade porn happens.

32 of 32 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Where is the horror May 13, 2012

By Laura Ledbetter

Format:Kindle Edition

So much for the truly wondrous horror we fell in love with in her first few books. Now we are bombarded with books filled 95% with porn and maybe 5% real story. I think she is one of the greatest writers of this generation, but I simply cannot justify the fee, any fee, for porn. Even worse, Ms. Hamilton doesn't really care about us, her readers.

30 of 30 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars This is no Beauty May 13, 2012

By Julaine

Format:Kindle Edition

LKH has written her series into the ground and even a necromancer as powerful as Anita Blake may not be able to resurrect it if Beauty is any example of what readers can expect. At a time when most authors are working extra hard to keep and expand their fan base LKH expects her fans to pay for the outtakes and the first Chapter of her upcoming novel.

Don't waste your money. There's a good reason her editor cut this scene from Kiss the Dead. It's poorly written and covers the same ground in almost the same language as previous novels. LKH manages to negotiate the erotic right out of a three way hottub scene and leave you wondering who cleans the hair out of the filter.

The first Chapter is marginally better, but if you want Kiss the Dead wait three more weeks and buy it or check it out from the library. Don't buy the cuttings that should have been sweep up and buried.