Because I Love You: The Silent Shadow of Child Sexual Abuse [Paperback]

Joyce Allan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2002

The first book which investigates the beliefs and values which underlie SILENCE-KEEPING about child sexual abuse not only by survivors, but also by their friends, family and community. Presented in the form of A COMPELLING MEMOIR, rich in visual warmth, and informed by the expertise of a child activist, it describes how silence creates the "ecology of child sexual abuse." Ultimately Because I Love You is FOR EVERYONE WHO KNOWS AND CARES ABOUT A VICTIM OR PERPETRATOR, AND EVERYONE WHO IS CONCERNED ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL SAFETY OF OUR CHILDREN. The book shows how the author's "life was seriously impacted and nearly derailed by incestuous abuse by her father at an early age, (and) documents her personal struggle to find understanding and expertise in helping her overcome her complicated and extensive posttraumatic and dissociative reactions. "With enormous determination, Allan conducts a detailed examination of her father's life and learns of his extensive pedophiliac history and its possible origins and motivations. And, finally, she EXAMINES THE SILENCE THAT SO OFTEN ACCOMPANIES ABUSE THAT IS PERPETRATED BY A FAMILY MEMBER, friend, or acquaintance, a silence often based on denial and loyalty that has the inadvertent effect of allowing abuse to continue undeterred. "This is a compelling look at the intergenerational dynamics of sexual abuse and its tragic consequences, and the need for improved and more effective intervention. It is also A TESTAMENT TO HUMAN RESILIANCE AND RENEWAL."

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Reads like a detective story. Wise,compassionate, informative. An indictment of incest, yet a complex and powerful enactment of love ..." --Sharon L. Davie, Ph.D., Director, University of Virginia Women's Center

"Uses her own intensely painful past to combat the complicities of silence among relatives and friends which harm our children." --Susan Gubar, Ph.D., Distinguished Professor of English, Indiana University

"Reveals how the silences of all of us permit abuse to continue. Will make the world much safer for children." --unsolicited letter from a reader

From the Publisher

It also contains a message forum for survivors and supporters, as well as extremely useful links to other resources for healing and speaking.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Vfh Press (September 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0966891945
• ISBN-13: 978-0966891942
• Product Dimensions: 10.9 x 8.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,357,346 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A compelling and candid memoir., March 22, 2002

By 

Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Because I Love You: The Silent Shadow of Child Sexual Abuse (Paperback)

Because I Love You: The Silent Shadow Of Child Sexual Abuse by psychotherapist Joyce Allan (Coordinator of the Chid Development Resource Center and past Fellow at the VFH Institute on Violence, Culture, and Survival) is a compelling and revealing report on the psychology, beliefs and values underlying the child abuse associated phenomena of silence-keeping, not only by survivors of child abuse, but by their friends, family, and communities as well. The format is a compelling memoir, enhanced and informed by the expertise of a trained and experienced child activist. Because I Love You is strongly recommended reading for professionals dealing with (and students studying the psychology of) child abuse in general, and what the author describes as the "ecology of child sexual abuse" in particular. Because I Love You is a welcome contribution to the national dialogue regarding the sexual abuse of children, and in that regard is recommended to the non-specialist general reader as well.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Important Work!, February 28, 2002

By 

Jo Ann Schriner (Fremont, CA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Because I Love You: The Silent Shadow of Child Sexual Abuse (Paperback)

Joyce, in a very intimate way, has revealed to the reader the consequences of keeping secrets about child abuse. We get to know her family as she reveals in a unique manner the story she must tell. Thank you, Joyce, for this vulnerable and important work. You may save a child from being abused today.

9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars We Are All Hurt, June 6, 2002

By 

Elena Prien (Virginia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Because I Love You: The Silent Shadow of Child Sexual Abuse (Paperback)

I was deeply moved by this book and its authentic and sensitive treatment of a subject seldom spoken about. What gets into headlines is shamefully limited in understanding of the scope of the problem, and only with understanding will victims and perpetrators alike find the courage to seek help. And, the understanding needs to come from all, not just those directly affected, because our lives are all intertwined. What hurts one of us hurts all of us.

We must educate ourselves and this book has opened both my mind and my heart.