Customer Reviews

Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You

5 star:		(38)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Silverman speaks out on the abuse suffered as a child and as a child that came from a highly regarded family. Her story telling is excellent and even the abuse is told from the view of pain rather than pity. Not only will you hear the true story of sexual abuse but the fight for a peaceful life and inner search that moved Silverman from a victim to victor.

Having volunteered and worked with many young abuse victims from child to adolescent, her story was sad but also inspiring. Many victims grow to blame the world for the pain ensued upon them. They allow the abuse to wreck havoc with all interpersonal relationships. Silverman confronts her abuse, her abuser and moves on to the path of strength and wellness.

She shows courage and fortitude in her search for inner peace. Having read many titles on this subject, I have found this to be the most inspiring and sound. Many others are written from the one-sided victim role and this title finds the balance and answers the questions; What am I going to do about it? What can I do to get better? How can I help myself and help others?

Be warned you will read some acts of abuse that will make you cringe and perhaps put the book down to reflect.

An adult title for anyone who has experienced abuse or is associated with an abuse survivor or works with abuse survivors.

This is one book I sincerely wish did not have to be written or published, not because it happened, but because I wish something like this never had to happen. I had not heard of Sue William Silverman before picking up her memoir, and the second I closed the covers together I wished that she did not have to live the life she was forced to live. To have survived years of torment and terror, of which Williamson has her own definitions, is truly a testament to the author's will to maintain a normal life beyond the circle of abuse.

Written to read like a novel, Because I Remember Terror is a gripping history of abuse and power, and of the subsequent healing and forgiveness. People with weak stomachs should be warned that Silverman does not sugar-coat her childhood--her language, though vibrant and flowing, is quite raw. Those fortunate to have never been sexually abused should read this as an account of a terror that needs to be extinguished. Those who have been abused will look to this book as representation of one woman's survival.

Powerful in its lean simplicity, gripping in its honesty, Sue Silverman's voice rivets the reader with its sensual evocation of imagery and ability to draw a reluctant audience into the painful world in which she was raised.

Written in vignettes - snapshots of memory - Silverman's book, published by the University of Georgia Press, courageously shares the stark terror of growing up a victim of incest. Masterfully alive in her words are the confusion, shame, and overwhelming dissolution of self such experiences engender.

Yet for all its unspeakable tragedy, Because I Remember Terror is also a tale of recovery, of a woman's unbreakable inner being and her ability to rise beyond the crushing dust of a shattered childhood.

Like many other readers, I read Silverman's 272-page memoir in a single day, unable to set it aside. Still, one could never claim to like Silverman's book any more than one would claim to have loved, say, Shindler's List. Be moved by it, yes. Be forever altered, indeed. But like? Love? No sane person can wade into the pool of another's suffering and enjoy it. Still, Silverman's words and her tale beckon, an immersion we all need if we, as society, are ever to begin cleansing this festering, hidden wound that surrounds us in silent horror.

Silverman is to be applauded for her advocacy of others in similar straights, to be respected for not submitting, in the final analysis, to the terror to which her sadistic father subjected her, a terror to which her mother turned a blind eye and hardened heart. Parents, teachers, psychologists, doctors - even teenagers -- should read this book. Silverman's is a voice crying out in a veritable wilderness where children are being lost to violence every day. Yes, here. In America. Maybe in the house next door to you. Maybe in your own.

Please. Hear her.

Sue Silverman's award-winning book is truly a work of art. The language is simple and powerful, like perfect poetry. Her story is personal, but as more and more similar stories of childhood sexual abuse are revealed, this book has a universal tone that is frightening because of its ordinariness. I could only read a few pages as a time, but I literally couldn't put it down and, after devoted the better part of two days to the effort, allowed myself to be moved to tears by the story and by the fine writing.

This is not an easy book to read, and you may often find yourself having to put the book down once in awhile simply to get away from the horror and reality of child abuse. Silverman is more than a survivor, she is an inspiration to victims who have experienced the savage, psychological, and inhuman terrors of child abuse. In Silverman's case, it tears the reader's heart to the very core to read of the abuse suffered at the hands of the one person who should have provided love and protection - her own father. What goes on behind the closed doors of a prominent, respected family will validate that child abuse knows no barriers or limitations when it comes to social standing. Silverman takes the reader through a nightmarish journey which will make the staunchest of characters break down and weap, not only for Silverman but for all the other innocent children whose childhood is being stolen from them at the hands of an abuser. The scars of child abuse remain forever, but through Silverman's story, she shows a light at the end of the tunnel, and an inner personal strength in reaching out to others that can only truly be understood by someone who has walked in her shoes.

Sue Silverman has guts. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself, I have nothing but admiration for her willingness to confront her past; believe me, I know how hard that is. Silverman is an excellent, evocative writer who will take you to a place where you don't want to go, but from which you will emerge a more understanding and empathetic person. Many thanks to Sue for telling not only her story, but to some extent, mine, too.

A new met friend suggested Sue Silverman's book. Last week I received the book. I read it over the weekend. At half of it, it was almost falling from my hands and I wondered if I was going to be able to go ahead - the terror and the horror are truly there - I did. I have not yet recovered from the emotion, it is really tough. But it is also one of the more powerful writing I have ever read about incest. The facts are clear, the feelings are honest, and the person seems to be so connected with herself as a child. Sue Silverman saved the child better than any mother could do. She is now helping children and women. This is what I would like to do. I am French, moved 3 years ago from Paris to the United States to escape from destruction. I had recovered memory three years beofre, after a long therapy. My life could not be the same. When I moved here, I escaped from suicide, which was a recurrent idea of issue to this pain. My memory is less and less fragmented.

This book is not for the faint of heart. I found parts of it hard to read. It saddened me that while I could put the book down for a moment, she could not stop what was happening to her. There was no escape.
I was sexually and physically abused as a child. I know what it feels like to be surrounded by people who don't notice or who don't care about what you're going through. The worst is when people view the abuser as a fine, upstanding person. However, the abused child knows different. It makes the child feel that there is something wrong with them, instead of the abuser. If the whole world feels the abuser is a wonderful person, then surely the child must be the bad one.
It was painful to read this book, but once I started reading it, I read it until I finished it. I hoped against hope that when Sue started her period that her dad would stop, but he didn't. I hoped that her mother would acknowledge what was going on and not blame Sue, but I was disappointed.
Sue deserved the best life had to offer, but while she was in that house, she never got a semblance of love and proper affection. I feel sorry for the little girl inside her. See, even when a person begins to heal from sexual abuse, the child inside often does not. In my case, there is always the little girl inside who is hurt and afraid and angry. A part of us will always be wounded by what happened.
I am so happy Sue wrote this book. I'm happy that she somehow found a way to make a life for herself. She is an inspiration to survivors everywhere.
If you know someone who has been through this but it is hard for you to understand, read this book. It will help you to understand the common emotions of someone who has been sexually abused.

this well-written memoir can be difficult to read at times because it's so heart-wrenching, yet the author's helplessness makes you force yourself to continue reading. you want to protect her and give her hope to help her through.

i have had no personal experience with sexual abuse, yet i still connected to this book on both a personal and impersonal level. i couldn't put it down and finished it within 24 hours-- i even read it at work! i think it would be useful as therapy for anyone who is willing to face their own experiences of sexual abuse or emotional abandonment... but i think it is also useful for anyone who seeks insight into why sexual abuse continues to subsist undiscovered--- and the intense emotional harm it causes.

fyi there are two main parts to the book - WITH father, and WITHOUT. even after she moves away from her father, she continues to fight within herself for control of her own life. it is a constant struggle and she is continuously strengthening her hold on her own life.

Sue William Silverman was sexually abused by her father from age four to eighteen while her mother denied and allowed the abuse. When Sue's therapist suggested she write down her experience, Sue expected only a paragraph to emerge. Instead, Because I Remember Terror emerged from an almost unstoppable flow of words. Today, Silverman is an award-winning writer, speaker and teacher.

When I read the first chapter of Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, I knew I held in my hands an important book - a book that could change lives. I immediately wished for a box of these books to take around and hand out to people: mothers in denial; young women being molested; grown women who had been abused; men who were abusers; counselors and pastors; anyone who would read the book and "get it!"

Silverman "got it" and does so with a powerful, lyrical voice that is haunting, full of truth and cuts to the truth. What Silverman went through as a child, no child should have to go through. Sadly, many children suffer from sexual abuse. It is unreported, not talked about, ignored, denied-name it-if it can be covered up, it will be. But Silverman's experience, and her outstanding courage to reveal it to the world brings an understanding quite unlike other books about child sexual abuse. It's personal. It's written by a master writer. It's honest-painfully so. It shines a powerful beacon onto the darkest secret the world doesn't want to see. It is triumphant.

Understanding the dynamics of a sexually abused child, the abuser, the household in which the abuse takes place, is paramount to stopping the abuse. Silverman gives readers an unprecedented look into the mind of the abused, the tactics of the abuser, the activities of an enabler, and the damage that is done to a child who should be celebrating their innocence.

Get it. Read it. Pass it on.