Customer Reviews

On Becoming Baby Wise, Book 1: Learn How Over One Million Babies Were Trained to Sleep Through the Night the Natural Way

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The first obvious questions any reader ought to ask before buying this book are: "Who is Gary Ezzo?" and "What relevant qualifications does he have to be giving advice about infant care?"

It seems very little. Gary Ezzo has a graduate degree in Christian Education from Talbot Theological Seminary. This hardly qualifies him as a trusted medical professional, much less a "theologian" (as the Editorial Review by Liane Thomas mistakenly refers to him).

On the positive side: I think many of the principles of this book are right on: Good parenting is not "accidental" but should be intentional. Parenting should be guided by reason and love -- not emotionalism. Secondly, raising great children requires parents to maintain a central focus on the quality of their marriage.

On the negative side: His approach is very misleading, alarmist and divisive. Many of his conclusions are developmentally inappropriate for young infants and are at odds with the advice from respected organizations such as the La Leche League and The American Academy of Pediatrics. But the medical establishment is not the only one with concerns. At least two of his former churches (Grace Community Church and Living Hope Fellowship) have rejected his curriculum and publicly rebuked him due to his "lack of truthfulness and refusal to be held accountable." Also, in January of this year (2001), Frank York, former Editorial Director at Growing Families International (Gary Ezzo's organization) wrote an open letter to Multnomah Publishers urging them to consider ending their relationship with Ezzo.

The area of main concern is his advice on scheduling feedings for newborns (with the goal of getting the newborn to "sleep through the night" by 8 weeks). Ironically, while this is the most attractive tag for his book, it is also the most weakly supported by relevant medical research.

To support his claims, Ezzo relies primarily on anecdotal evidence and results from his own research -- which taken by itself hardly constitutes a trusted body of medical data. Who else has conducted this research and come to the same conclusions? Has anyone ever did a longitudinal study comparing children raised under PDF with those who have not? For example, Ezzo makes bold claims about the long-term advantages of PDF over demand feeding (ie. children who have been raised on PDF have less likelihood of sleeping problems, are more independent, obedient and mature). Since Ezzo's material has been around for about 14 years, It seems there's been plenty of opportunity to study just how demand-fed children compared with PDF children over that time -- but Ezzo cites no such research. This is surprising, since this would help his case significantly.

Ezzo fails to demonstrate why "sleeping through the night by 8 weeks" is such an important goal to achieve -- except that it's convenient for the parents. Many newborns will naturally begin to sleep through the night somewhere between 8 and 12 weeks, anyway. But it is not clear how artificially accelerating this provides any value to the newborn. In fact, the AAP has found that Ezzo's program for newborns, in certain cases, has been associated with failure to thrive, poor weight gain, dehydration, breast milk supply failure, and involuntary early weaning. (See article in the April 1998 issue of the AAP News by Dr. Matthew Aney)

There is not enough room here to include all issues and concerns with this book. For specific concerns regarding Ezzo, you can write to the American Academy of Pediatrics, The La Leche League, Focus on the Family or the Christian Research Institute.

I would strongly suggest readers to exercise caution and discernment if you do buy this book. If anything, at least talk to a medical professional (specifically, a pediatrician or a lactation consultant) for their recommendations and insights. But in my opinion there are so many better books out there that are much less controversial, more substantiated by current medical research and more widely endorsed by parents, medical professionals and respected Christian organizations.

In particular, I would recommend any book by the American Academy of Pediatrics or the American Medical Association. From a Christian perspective, I would recommend "Focus on The Family Complete Book of Child and Baby Care" (not actually written by James Dobson, but by their Physicians Resource Council). Also, two great books on general child rearing and discipline are "Raising Great Kids" and "Boundaries for Kids" by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

I would like to publicly apologize anyone I might have encouraged to use the Ezzo methods while I participated in some of their classes. In our Ezzo classes at church, we were told repeatedly that the Ezzo methods were God's Way, yes, with a captial G, and that only Ezzo parenting was the Right Way. We were also told that parents who DIDN'T use the Ezzo parenting methods, including attachment parents, would have spoiled, self-centered children. The Ezzos include fictional descriptions of children in their books and course materials, showing a child raised on THEIR methods as being a perfect little angel, and the child NOT raised on their methods as the one who pushes little kids off swings and having no consideration for others.

I have two daughters, a pre-teen and an elementary school child.. With the first I got into an Ezzo-type schedule, only nursed for a short time, pushed her into a crib and then into a toddler bed before she was ready. I tried to maintain this level of "deattachment" and schedule with my second child. How I wish I could have known then what I know now. My duaghters would have benefited from less emphasis on schedule and more empahsis on loving interaction.

We finally took Ezzo classes at church out of desperation and were TOLD they were completely practical, non-dangerous, and a life-saver. Instead of the techniques improving our relationship with our daughters (especially our oldest), our relationship suffered. It was after this happened that we started researching the Ezzos on the net, and we were shocked to find they had so little foundation for their teachings. We were shocked that we were so gullible to beleive that this was "biblical parenting" and God's Way to raise our children. Ezzo has primarily antedotial evidence ONLY that his methods work, coming from people who have bought into the belief that his is the "biblical" way to parent. He is not well-versed in what is normal child development. His wife was a nurse for a very brief period of time MANY years ago. Dr Buckman had only peen a practicing pediatrician for a year or two when the first Babywise book came out with HIS name on it as a "leading pediatrician."

Unlike some people who believe others blast this book out of hand, I have actually read a lot of the Ezzo's work, both the secular ____wise titles and their church materials. I know what I am talking about.

I heartily recommend that new or experienced parents of an infant do their research about child development and what is best for their childen before launching into the world of Ezzoism.

For the parent who would like to raise a well-behaved and thoughtful child, you don't need the Ezzo methods to achieve this. Babies will achieve a routine and eventually sleep through the night. They have been doing so since time began. You don't NEED Babywise to accomplish this.

There is some valid criticism of this book, which is the reason that I only reluctantly give copies to brand new parents--both singing the praises of the methods and warning not to apply everything Ezzo recommends blindly.

The basic premise is that you feed your baby when it first wakes, and wake the baby if it falls asleep before getting a good, complete feeding. Then you try to keep the baby awake--at first this will be only a few minutes, maybe just 2 or 3 minutes in a newborn. Then, while the baby is still awake, lie him or her down to sleep. The main idea is that you don't let the baby depend the breast or nipple to go to sleep--the baby learns to comfort and put herself to sleep. The theory is that babies wake naturally every few hours. With this method they have the skills to get themselves back to sleep without fully waking or waking you once, twice, three times each night.

It REALLY works for most babies. I'm sure there are some babies who just don't have the temperment for this, but it worked like a charm for my baby, and for all of my friends whom I've turned on to the book. I have a five month old who sleeps 12 hours at a stretch without waking and has done so since she was 10 weeks old. Not ONCE since she was 10 weeks old has she awoken in the middle of the night, and she wakes up in the morning so happy and calm it's hard to believe. Often, she'll wake about 1/2 an hour before her usual waking time and "sing" and coo to herself in the crib. When she sees me come into the room, she is grinning from ear to ear. And despite the fact that she has just gone over 12 hours since the last feeding, she is not ravenously hungry in the morning--rarely finishes her very first bottle.

The one drawback to this method is that it's hard for the baby to sleep anywhere but her own crib. We don't go out much, but find that when we do, we can't stay out too long past the baby's bedtime because she won't just fall asleep in the car seat or our arms for more than a few minutes as our older daughter did. She gets very cranky and tired, and seems so releived when we finally get home to her own crib. She's also comfortable in her portacrib, so that she won't go bezerk when we travel--don't forget to factor this in!!!

That said, the critics are right when they say some of Ezzo's advice is stupid and dangerous. Even though he claims his recommendations for a feeding schedule are flexible, they are actually very rigid, and an inexperienced parent who tries to rigidly adhere to them can end up causing dehydration in the baby. I tell people I give the book to that they should try everything they can to make sure the baby takes as much as she can with each feeding, but if she can't go as long as Ezzo recommends between feedings just go ahead and feed sooner. It still works fine.

Also, it's ridiculous to let a newborn "cry it out" for more than just a few minutes. My children have the uncanny knack of just escalating and escalating when any attempts are made in that direction. So just be consistent. If the baby seems to be getting more upset, go in and give comfort, and then start the routine to get the baby to sleep again. I only had to do this for about 2 days to get my newborn to settle down for naps.

Sometimes during the day, my newborn would cry for no apparent reason and be very upset. My attempts to comfort her didn't work, so I'd put her in the crib to give myself a moment to calm down. And the minute she'd hit the crib she'd smile and go right to sleep. She was trying to tell me that she was tired and wanted to be in the place where she sleeps.

Ezzo's idea to place the baby in the playpen or a baby seat in front of a window to amuse herself is pretty ridiculous for a young baby. Baboes aren't awake that much to begin with. PLAY with him or her!!!! As your baby gets older, you can leave her in a safe position to play for a little while--but don't expect 45 minutes as Ezzo recommends. When you're baby starts to express frustration, it's time to give your baby some attention.

However, I don't agree with critics who say this method is incompatible with "attachment parenting". Nothing says you can't be very attached to your baby while letting her sleep in her own space--at least for naps and for most Americans at night too. This baby sleeps so well and seems very secure and serene. She is cuddly and happy to be in our arms, but just as happy to be put in her crib when she's tired. When she's had enough rest, she is positively joyful (and so am I!!!). When she's awake, I am with her, carrying her in a sling or front pack, playing with her on the floor, tickling her on the changing table--everything an "attached" parent would do. But with this method the baby takes great naps so I get things done or a chance to rest myself, and we both have wonderful, restful nights.

If you overlook some of the advice Ezzo gives, I think the basic premise is very good.

This 1998 edition of Babywise is Gary Ezzo's second attempt to get it right (The earlier edition was just published in 1995). This edition vastly improves on the scant research of the first edition. In the 1995 edition, Ezzo provides only 10 footnotes in the entire book. Of these, only two medical research articles are mentioned -- one from 1982 and another from 1986. Neither of these articles are relevant to Ezzo's case for "Parent-Directed Feeding" or getting the newborn to "sleep through the night by 8 weeks". The newer edition does much better -- with at least 30 footnotes that includes more current sources. One interesting change in the updated edition: Ezzo revises his expectations for getting newborns to "sleep through the night" from 5-8 weeks (1995 edition) to 7-9 weeks.

Although this edition is much improved, Ezzo persists with same pattern of fallacious reasoning and divisive tone that plagued his first edition. Ezzo also seems to be subconsciously aware that some of his views are not supported by conventional medical research. His quote on page 39 is very telling:

"The best evaluation of any parenting philosophy, including Babywise, is not found in the reasoning or the logic of the hypothesis. End results speak clearly. Let your eyes confirm what works and what doesn't"

Ezzo supporters seem to echo this same mentality --- dismissing concerns from the American Academy of Pediatrics and other credible sources with the defense: "It just works! We got our baby to sleep through the night by 5 weeks. Don't judge the book until you try it for yourself!" But two things ought to be said this: First, this kind of logic falls prey to what is known as the "pragmatic fallacy" -- that is, the notion that "if something works -- it must be right". However, when we say something "works", all that means is that a certain set of results were achieved from a certain set of expectations. But this says nothing about whether the expectations themselves are realistic, appropriate, medically sound or even safe! Secondly, while many parents in fact report success with the Ezzo method and have healthy and thriving babies, these anecdotal success stories alone do not merit adopting the PDF method as a standard practice -- especially when a wide body of medical research seems to caution otherwise. The Ezzo program may work well for many families whose pre-conditions are already compatible with scheduled feedings. But it is NOT clear it works for everyone -- as Ezzo thinks it should.

This book raises a great deal of red-flags, and new parents should be asking a lot of questions (especially from respected medical or family-advocate sources) before jumping head-first into this book. For starters, I would suggest writing or emailing the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, The La Leche League, The Christian Research Institute or Focus on the Family.

I read this book when I was pregnant and mistakenly thought it made a lot of sense. When my little girl was born, I was so afraid to hold her because I didn't want to spoil her (as this book suggests). I was determined to put her on a schedule and did so many things that went against my heart. I became totally stressed because my little baby didn't follow the schedule outlined the book. Consequently, my daughter became extremely fussy and cried all of the time. I think she just wanted my love and attention!

I finally calmed down when I gave up on Babywise and started to trust my instincts. I began to demand feed my daughter and hold her whenever she cried. We both began to enjoy each other so much more. I now have a sweet, happy little girl who is secure and well-adjusted (And yes, she sleeps through the night and has since she was two months old. I felt I got more practical, family-centered advice from the book Sleeping Through the Night than this parent-centered book.) Please, if you feel the need to read this book, take it with a grain of salt. Intellectually, it makes a ton of sense, but emotionally, it could damage the bond you have with your child.

My six month old was having trouble sleeping and I tried the Ezzo approach. As I was standing behind to the door listening to my son sobbing, I realized that I wouldn't treat my worst enemy the way I was treating my child. I knew then that there had to be a way to help my son sleep that every loving instinct I had didn't rebel at. I searched the parenting books and found Smart Love by the Piepers. They explain why the Ezzo approach is as bad as I thought and offer ways to help your child sleep that don't involve torture for parent or child. My son now goes to sleep cooing and babbling to himself and I feel as though I have saved him from emotional disaster. Smart Love is much smarter than babywise!

I am a mother of 5. I used these methods with my first two babies, and had nothing but glowing reports about the success of our methods. I was excessively self-congratulatory about my superior mothering wisdom (but of course, feigned humility among those other mothers who were working so much harder than me--the poor dears).

By the time I was pregnant with my third, I realized something disturbing about myself. I had no compassion for my own children. I had listened to so much crying and done so much ignoring of my children's needs (because that is what this book requires for success) that I felt NOTHING when my children cried (even if they were injured). I had calloused my heart to their cries.

Yes, my first two babies slept through the night at an early age. Yes, they seemed easy going and happy during the day. I was even able to breastfeed them. But at what price? When I realized how these methods and ideas had hardened my mother's heart I was grieved.

With my third child I discovered sleeptight and Dr. Jeffrey Hull. His methods and ideas are much more compassionate and reasonable. These ideas helped my parent my third baby and she too slept well through the night without "crying it out." Most of all, though, I learned that good mothering is a whole lot of hard work. It requires a great deal of sacrifice and being sensitive to a babies needs. There are no easy formulas.

According to Dr. T. Berry Brazelton M.D. (who also writes helpful books for parents), this approach shows incredible lack of respect for your child. Listen to what your own instincts are telling you - your child is not born into this world to make your life miserable or to manipulate you. If your child is crying - it wants something from you - most likely comfort or affection. There are ways of getting a good nights sleep that do not require you to let your child cry until they are inconsolable, and ways of fostering good manners and behaviour that do not require you to emotionally abandon your child. Your child is only this age once - and the sleepless nights will be soon enough over when your child is ready. You will miss these days when your child is a teenager, and wonder how you could have thought them a problem. I sympathise with parents who are facing lack of sleep or other problems, but remember: you only get one chance to do this right -- and teaching your child that you won't be there when it needs you is NOT the way to do it. Buy Dr. William Sears book instead.

This book frustrates me because it incites people to either say the whole thing is crap, or that it's the best thing to happen to parenthood. It's neither. But I do think it's dangerous. About me - I am a Christian. My children have a schedule. My children have never cried unanswered at night (sometimes during the day if I have to wipe a toddler's butt or what have you, I am only one person!). My one year old sleeps from 8-5, has a small feed (I get up at 5 and chose this), and goes back to sleep until 7. My two year old sleeps from 8-7, no night waking, and if she does, she gets her cup of water, and happily goes back to sleep. About once a month, she will come to our room and ask for something. I happily oblige. I am, after all, still a parent, no matter what the clock says.

Read the reviews. Everyone that likes it immediately jumps to say "my baby slept through the night by x number of weeks." That's great. But it's not an accurate measure of a healthy baby. In fact, no one, not even a baby, sleeps through the night. You wake, resituate, go back to bed. When a parent of a 7 week old baby says their baby sleeps through the night, what they mean is that they have taught their baby not to bother to cry for them whether they are hungry, cold, wet (I assume these babies are wet, as most babies wet their diapers overnight, it's why huggies makes an overnight diaper). They have successfully taught their babies to roll over and suffer in silence. Great parenting. You are off to a magnificent start!

Parent directed feeding is not so awful. Sort of. I think his point is that you can choose nursing times and encourage your child to nurse at these times. I don't think the way to do this is to make your hungry baby wait. I know, I know, he says to feed a hungry baby. Right after he tells stories with dire warnings about the poor, stupid parents who let their babies feed whenever they "demanded." I mean, how seriously can you take his instruction to feed a hungry baby when he has just condemned all women who DO feed their babies when they are hungry??? (By the way, he also intentionally misleads parents about what demand feeding really is - demand feeding is really just recognizing your baby's hunger signs and feeding them when they show them, signs like sucking hands, rooting, etc. Demand feeding is NOT waiting until your baby is crying to feed them) If I have a feeding scheduled at 11, and my baby is hungry at 10:30, I will feed her! I will give her a top off snack, attempting to feed on one side, perhaps. Regardless, I will STILL feed her at 11. If you feed her at 11 every day, even if she is only a little hungry, she will get accustomed to eating at 11. But if you feed her snacks in between, SHE WILL STILL BE HUNGRY AT 11 because that's what she's used to. If he presented it that way, but instead he scares parents into feeding on a schedule.

Lastly, perhaps this is picky. But I let my babies feed themselves table fopd. Babies are learning, and one thing they can learn about is food. To a baby, eating is more than hand to mouth. It is experiencing the taste, texture, mushability, etc of food. Sometimes it's messy.

Also, his portrayal of those awful attachment parents is LAUGHABLE! Oh my. I think it's in childwise that he tells a story about a mom who, scared to tell her children no, disassembels the outdoor playset and brings it inside since it was raining and her children want to play on it. Uh, no. Just no. Attachment parenting can be, and is often, taken to extremes (as people do with this book), but the general principle is respecting your baby as an individual and assisting their entrance into the world by recognizing that their needs are urgent. His description of attachment parents is a description of bad parents, who refuse to set boundaries. I am not an attachment parent, really, but the ones I know aren't afraid to tell their children no. They just don't say no because they can, they actually have a reason to say no. They don't pull the "Because I said so" card.

I think this book is great for parents that don't want the inconvenience of having a baby. If this sounds like you, get a puppy. Or adopt an older child. Having a baby (or a child for that matter) is a 24 hour a day job, and just because YOU want to sleep doesn't mean that tiny baby wants to, or even can. You try falling asleep when you're not tired.

But perhaps the biggest turn off for this book is listening to it's die hard followers. Nowhere in their comments do you hear a genuine joy and delight in their baby as a person. It's about how conveniently their babies fit into their lives. There's no room for YOU the ADULT and YOU the PARENT changing your priorities and routines. Just forcing your baby to adapt to YOUR schedule. It's all about what a "good" baby they have, and how well behaved the baby is, and how quickly the baby slept through the night. Babies are pure joy, they are screaming, poopy, crazy, hair pulling beautiful bundles of joy, and I wouldn't trade mine even for a full night's sleep.

Please do your own research before buying this book. You will be shocked to see all of the negative information regarding this book and it's author. There are entire websites devoted to it. I do believe you have to have somewhat of a schedule with a baby but I believe this book goes a little too far. My daughter and I developed our own schedule as we got to know each other. She slept thru the night for the first time around 2 months. I don't believe that everything in this book is wrong I just believe that there are more trustworthy sources to turn to than this book. I also am a big believer that every child is different and no one principle can work for everyone. This book implies that there is only one right way.
My big advice to pass along, other than do your own research on this book is to make sure you develop a bedtime routine and stick to it from the very beginning. Bath, feeding, then off to bed worked for us. Now that she is older we do bath, books, then off to bed. We have never had problems.