Customer Reviews

On Becoming Baby Wise Book Two: Parenting Your Pre Toddler 5-12 Month Old Through the Babyhood Transition

5 star:		(89)
4 star:		(26)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(15)
1 star:		(60)

 

 

The negative reviews written on this board making claims of malnutirition, breastfeeding problems, and attachment disorders are almost comical! As with any parenting book (or most informative books in general for that matter), Ezzo's "On Becoming Baby Wise" should be taken with a grain of salt. Most sensible readers should have the ability to pick up on the idea that this book is simply a GUIDELINE for new parents on real issues such as creating feeding and sleeping habits, communication, potty training, discipline etc. The book has a very good grasp on parent-centered vs. child-centered parenting and offers solutions that really work to the problems facing most new parents. Before reading this book, I fed my daughter on demand, she slept when she wanted, and seemed to cry all of the time. She was eating for 2 minutes, falling asleep for 10, and waking up hungry again. I was exhausted. At four weeks, when I transitioned her onto the Baby Wise schedule, not only did she develope a managable (and healthier) feeding schedule, she was sleeping through the night in two weeks, and was a much happier baby overall.

Now, three years later, I am reading and following the advice from "Child Wise" (the third book of the series) and my daughter is an absolute joy to be around. She is healthy, developmentally advanced, well-mannered, obedient and happy. I don't agonize over taking her to public places for fear of embarassment, my friends and family call ME to babysit her, and I regularly receive compliments on how well-behaved and enjoyable she is.

Did I follow everything in Ezzo's book to a T? No. But do I give it as a gift with confidence to every new mother as a practical guide for child care and management? ABSOLUTELY!!

Again, taking ANYTHING to an extreme can be dangerous. But taking this book for what it's worth without nit-picking the verbiage to pieces will probably save most new parents from a lot of sleepless nights and headaches.

On Becoming Babywise, Mr. Ezzo's first book, was an invaluable resource to me when my son was an infant. William thrived on the Babywise method, and was sleeping eight hours a night, at eight-weeks to the day. I believe he is a happy, healthy little boy in part, because I followed Ezzo's advice. Naturally, I picked up Babywise II when he progressed to the next stage. Short and easy to read, this book is also affordable.

On Becoming Babywise II was written with the intent of guiding parents through the pre-toddler phase, 5 to 15 months of age. Best received by advocates of the first book, as the foundation for routine is already established. The text of this book concentrates on behavioral training and feeding.

Pros:
Chapter 3 - Mealtime Activities
This section focuses on the essentials of feeding a pre-toddler. There are complete instructions on introducing solids, making your own baby food, finger foods, snacks, and weaning. I found this chapter to be extremely helpful.

Chapter 4 - Highchair Manners
Mr. Ezzo concentrates on mealtime training in this chapter, since children spend hours a week in their highchair, and the self-control learned to properly handle food, is the same self-control needed for life outside the kitchen. I quickly realized baby hands were an issue when my son began solid foods. Following Ezzo's advice, I held his hands underneath the highchair tray with one hand, and fed him with the other. In a few short weeks, he understood, his hands went on his lap when eating, and when they strayed, a simple reminder was all it took. This is an example of the practical advice presented in this chapter!

Cons:
Chapter 4 - Highchair Manners
I strongly disagree with the author's recommendation when correcting undesirable behavior. Page 63, "First correct the child verbally. Next, provide an attention-getting squeeze or swat to the hand, if necessary." As one who followed this advice when my son turned one, I can demonstrate why it does not work, and more importantly, why it should not be an acceptable form of instruction. In my case, giving a light-squeeze to the hand, worked initially, then a week went by, and I discovered it required more than a light-squeeze to get my son's attention. Another week went by, a firm-squeeze turned into a light-swat to the hand, and then he started hitting back. According to the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics), physical punishment teaches children it is okay to hit, and suggests it does far more harm than good, page 285 in "Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, Bantam", 1998.

Straight away, I sought the pediatrician's advice. She offered time-out as an alternative, which my son responded to immediately and positively. By applying the author's technique, I failed to teach my son self-control, and additional problems emerged as a result. In addition, at what age does THIS style of disciplining begin? Ezzo does not specify. This book is intended for parents of pre-toddlers, 5 to 15 months old, does the author seriously expect parents to reprimand a 5-month old in the manner mentioned above? I certainly hope not! Immediate and consistent response to misbehavior speeds the learning process. It took months to teach my son hitting was wrong, conversely, he learned the stereo was off limits in just weeks by employing the time-out method.

Final Thoughts:
Firstly, I CAUTIOUSLY recommend this book. I believe, some of the advice is disrespectful to children, and could cause behavior problems, such as illustrated with my son. Secondly, Mr. Ezzo suggests in the introduction that graduates of his first book are best served in this book, because the foundation for routine is already established. I agree with this, and propose that this edition may be beneficial to readers if the method promoted in the original book was helpful. Also, if you are a person who is capable of reading beyond some of the authoritarian tendencies, some of the advice is worthy. On Becoming Babywise II is more Christian based than the 1998 edition of On Becoming Babywise. As a Catholic, this did not insult me, but some may find the authors writing to be too preachy. I would have rated this book 2 ½ stars if it were available. Due to some of the practical advice offered, I decided to error on the positive side, rather than the negative.

I have recently completed reading BabyWise II. I consider myself a Christian and this book is extremely popular in my church. Throughout the entire book, I had moments of complete confusion and disagreement accompanied by moments of complete agreement and lucidity regarding how to implement these methods. However, by the end, I realized that I should not be confused by or passionately against any section of a book that would truly benefit my child.

While I believe there are some helpful and necessary methods in the book, I had already found much of that advice in other sources. For example, feeding schedules are advocated by many resources, but those other sources are very clear when it comes to making sure babies' basic needs are met before implementing such routines. With my knowledge from other resources, I attempted to read BabyWise with a bit of grace, but at the same time I felt guilt and coercement at many points; for instance, when I realized that my child was having one more meal a day than what is 'recommended' by Mr. Ezzo for a child her age. For the record, my pediatrician generally recommends one more meal than she is receiving for a child her age.

This concern and my confusion on other subjects in the book prompted me to speak to my husband about the book and I asked him to read it. He read only the forward and immediately became suspicious. He asked me if there were any references and I instantly realized there were none. It then became clear that the pediatrician listed as an author indeed had no authorship save the foreword, and that Mr. Ezzo has had no formal education regarding child development. A very quick search on the internet confirmed our deductions, and we found many articles against Mr. Ezzo's methods, including a well documented student's masters thesis. Out of curiosity and still trying to find a way to defend this popular book, I performed internet searches on all of the other resources on child development we own (four books; all of which document research for their claims and advice) and found absolutely no negative press for any.

Based on how unclear I found the teachings in the book and how much bad advice I had to sort out, I strongly urge anybody who reads this book to read other books first. As I said, I don't disagree with all of the methods and advice, but it should be seen as advice from a person who has raised obedient (not a bad thing) children and has no other qualifications beyond that. You could do just as well asking advice from a friend or acquaintence with children who possess qualities you admire. As we all know every child is different and reacts to different discipline methods differently. Please make sure you go to many resources to find the option best suited to your child.

Just an end note: As popular as this book is among my friends, I have not known anybody to follow the BabyWise book beyond feeding schedules and sleeping issues, and there is a good reason for that: Not all of it is good advice.

The people who are zealously denouncing this book must not be reading it. One reviewer wrote that Mr. Ezzo says that children who are fed on demand become brats who steal and that infants should only be fed every 3 hours no matter what. Nothing could be further from the truth. The book clearly states that if your baby is hungry then you should feed it, no matter the time. The book is very much against clock watching and strict scheduling. As a first time parent, I have found the practical advice very helpful. Our baby is now 7 months old and consistently sleeps through the night. And no, he is not a failure-to-thrive or developmentally delayed baby, but a healthy, happy infant who is still breastfed. My husband and I do not strictly follow any "rules" supposedly in these books. We have common sense and do not use parenting guides as divine revelation, but as an adjunct to our own morals and intuitions.
As long as parents don't forget to do this, the books can be very helpful and I would still recommend them. If nothing else, they provide an alternative philosophy to "attachment parenting". When you prepare for parenthood, you should read as much as possible, even if some of the material goes against your beliefs. I think it's a good thing also to read parenting material with opposing viewpoints. You can then explore what feels right for you and your family. You simply don't implement the principles with which you don't agree. It's as simple as that.
As far as the paranoia about these books being a way to inculcate families into fundamentalist christianity, my husband and I are not conservative christians and still use these books.
As long as parents use common sense, when reading any "parenting guide" they should be fine.

This book did make a wonderful difference for us. My first baby slept through the night at 7 weeks. She is now 4 years old and a happy, sweet, well behaved little girl. The basic ideas of the book about setting up routine and schedule for babies worked really well for us. Whenever she cried or fussed, we knew exactly what she needed. No guessing. We are now taking the same ideas we used on our first daughter and applying them to our 3 week old. I don't care about the religion of the author or the controversy about his credentials. The principles of the book are solid and make sense. Of course, as with everything else having to do with babies, you should pick and choose the information that works for your family. We didn't agree with everything in the book, in fact there were quite a few ideas in the book that we felt strongly were NOT right for us, but agreed that a routine would be good for our babies since it set a pattern of predictability that I think is very good and healthy for them and us.

Often people defend Gary Ezzo's parenting materials with "The materials are great! As long as you use common sense and don't follow the books legalistically. . ." The assumption is that there is no inherent problem with Babywise, just in parents not using common sense.

Two friends sent me Gary Ezzo's "Babywise" when I was expecting our first. It was interesting, a bit strange--nothing like the other books I had read about infant parenting. But the way in which it was written was persuasive and I found myself skimming over it again. Then the "Preparation for Parenting" classes were offered at our church.

In the end, we implemented the PDF routine--with common sense, flexibility, and encouragement from "Contact Moms."

My son seemed to do great on it at first--but my son went from a hefty 16 lbs at 3.5 months to 14 lb 2 oz at 6 months.

Later I found out that milk supply loss and slowed weight gain is normal within families that implement Babywise. Why? Because it goes against how breastfeeding works, chemically, hormonally and physiologically. And Babywise if full of other *medical* errors, that parents tend to overlook because of how persuasive Gary Ezzo can write.

We also used Babywise II and other materials by Gary Ezzo, and recommend avoiding them.

If you are interested in the full story of our experience with Babywise, google "Confessions of a Failed Babywiser".

Don't waste your time or money.

Babywise is a blessing. My kids can get themselves to sleep, have great manners and are always complemented on their happiness and contentment. All my kids became fat chunky cute babies that were breastfed on a routine. The doctors cannot believe how advanced my one month old was at his last appointment. He was cooing, smiling on purpose, and is growing like crazy. He barely fusses, so some crying before sleep isn't any harm. I work my way into the concepts and some things i am leaving out, but for the most part, babywise has kept my kids ages 4, 3, 1, and 1 month, happy and content. People ask, how do i do it? (handle so many young kids) And, your kids are so well behaved and happy. And, i can give a lot of credit to Gary Ezzo. I bought his Christian version off his website, Gfi.org, and it is even better! New moms -- it is the best thing for everyone in the family!

As a mother of twins I read many books to help my children sleep through the night. I found some of Ezzo's suggestions helpful in getting through a difficult situation. As a parent you read alot of information and it is up to you as a parent to evaluate and use what material will work for you. As with all books I have read on parenting I did not agree with everything but I was able to take from the reading suggestions that would work for me. My twins are 13 weeks old and both are sleeping at least 6 hours through the night. They were born at 3 1/2 and 4 pounds and now they are 11 and 13 pounds. Thank you Mr. Ezzo for your help.

This book has been invaluable to me as my son has started eating solids and becoming more active. I am a first-time parent, and while I do not hold to a strict daily schedule or the sleeping methods that Baby-Wise suggests, I find their wisdom and suggestions regarding introducing solids and varying the "wake time" activities extremely helpful. I had few ideas as to what to do with my baby on a practical level and this book answered my questions! I refer to it often and highly recommend it to all parents.

We have followed the babywise way since our twins were born. I bought this book in hopes that it would help me figure out how to introduce solids into their schedule. It answered that question and many more. It is also a good reference on disciplining pretoddlers. The motto "Train and not retrain" is a good one.