On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Sleep Reference Guide Used by Over 1,000,000 Parents Worldwide [Paperback]

Gary Ezzo (Author), Robert Bucknam (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 2001

The infant management concepts presented in this book have found favor with over two million parents and twice as many contented babies. On Becoming Babywise brings hope to the tired and bewildered parents looking for an alternative to sleepless nights and fussy babies. The Babywise Parent Directed Feeding concept has enough structure to bring security and order to your baby's world, yet enough flexibility to give mom freedom to respond to any need at any time. It teaches parents how to lovingly guide their baby's day rather than be guided or enslaved to the infant's unknown needs. The information contained within On Becoming Babywise is loaded with success. Comprehensive breast-feeding follow-up surveys spanning three countries, of mothers using the PDF method verify that as a result of the PDF concepts, 88% breast-feed, compared to the national average of only 54% (from the National Center for Health Statistics). Of these breast-feeding mothers, 80% of them breast-feed exclusively without a formula complement. And while 70% of our mothers are still breast-feeding after six months, the national average encourage to follow demand feeding without any guidelines is only 20%. The mean average time of breast-feeding for PDF moms is 33 1/2 weeks, well above the national average. Over 50% of PDF mothers extend their breast-feeding toward and well into the first year. Added to these statistics is another critical factor. The average breast-fed PDF baby sleeps continuously through night seven to eight hours between weeks seven and nine. Healthy sleep in infants is analogous to healthy growth and development. Find out for yourself why a world of parents and pediatricians utilize the concepts found in On Becoming Babywise.

Product Details

• Paperback: 238 pages
• Publisher: Parent-Wise Solutions; Rev&Expand edition (November 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0971453209
• ISBN-13: 978-0971453203
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.2 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,120 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #19,789 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

486 of 534 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars A more neutral perspective, November 25, 2005

By 

Will Riddle "and Jaime Riddle" (Cincinnati) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Sleep Reference Guide Used by Over 1,000,000 Parents Worldwide (Paperback)

I am not interested in Ezzo- or GFI-bashing here in this review.

As a mom of three infant boys, each a little over a year apart with one more on the way, I see nothing wrong with the gist of the Babywise book. The principles for eating and sleeping work rather well if you employ them with some grace and flexibility as tiny ones require. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Ezzo's do not suggest tossing your tenderness, intuition, or creative parenting out the window--they provide some basic eating/sleeping instructions very similar to those sent home with Mom a generation ago from Dr. Spock, the pediatrician, or the hospital nurse (but not highly common nowadays due to the AAP's shift in philosophy). Such advice will not harm your baby unless you employ their methods religiously as if it is the "magic formula" to enjoying newborns. There exists no such formula--not in Ezzo, and not in the Sears or child-centered camp either.

Briefly, the basic principles covered include:
1. Feeding approx every three hours
2. Trying to keep your baby awake during feedings and a little afterwards.
3. Putting your baby down to sleep before the next feeding
4. Keeping your baby on a eat-wake-sleep routine to help their hunger stabilize for faster nighttime sleeping.
5. Trying not to allow babies to become overdependent for sleep on any one prop (rocking, swings, slings, pacifiers, car rides, etc).
6. Generally helping the baby's needs to fit into you and your family's routine, rather than arranging you and your family's needs completely around the baby's routine (or having none at all).

I maintain that these principles, while presented a little briskly, are not damaging to infants. They are in fact very helpful if after a month or two your baby does not naturally seem to eat or sleep with any pattern, or if he/she has the days and nights mixed up. But people take the Ezzo's too far when they pretend that their methods are gospel to tending, pacifying, or loving newborns--or MAKING them do anything. All they can do is provide guidelines for structure. And yet there is a tendency for new parents with a distinctively wailing newborn to be anxious for solutions to stop the crying, and for signs that they are feeding the child enough, doing all the right things. If you follow Ezzo (or Sears) believing that they will keep you safe, your real relationship with your baby may suffer because that is the wrong mentality to approach parenting. It is this formula-seeking, intimidated approach to parenting that is the real danger to a child's health and psychology, not the actual guidelines in the book. I thoroughly believe that any wild incidents you hear about concerning Ezzo-following came from this mentality, at the root.

That said, it is also true that not all methods are created equal. With one preschooler, one two-year old, one baby, and one forthcoming child in the house now, my husband and I have found that a philosophy which leans a little more towards where the Ezzo's are coming from produces better results than the philosophy that the Sears' or even the AAP endorses, especially by late toddlerhood. The tendency for child-centered parenting to go awry by the two-year old stage--for the parent OR the two-year old!--is noticeable. And the time demands on a parent (or two) practicing this way is almost impossible if you work or your children's ages are close together.

I agree that Babywise could use a little more seasoning of flexibility and lovingkindness in its presentation. It seems to assume that you have already heard all the right ways to parent and is therefore coming from a corrective position rather than an objectively inexperienced one. However, the basic principles are presented clearly and that is the purpose of the book. I found that the principles worked especially well with my first son who cried a lot, had reflux, and could have been considered "a difficult baby." The advice was not so necessary for my next two sons who were easier babies in the eating/sleeping area (and had a more experienced mom!). For more warmth and depth, I'd recommend Tracy Hogg's "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" which combines the best of the Babywise advice along with some humor and nuanced examples of how to apply this stuff.

Or, on the philosophy end, you can try "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson for a vision of motherhood as a whole and then try to apply the Babywise advice in that context. After all, parenting (even infants) is not just about helping them to eat and sleep right... although it certainly feels like that for the first couple months.

49 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars There are MUCH better sleep/scheduling books out there!, January 16, 2004

By 

"mom2twogirls" (Arlington, VA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Sleep Reference Guide Used by Over 1,000,000 Parents Worldwide (Paperback)

I read this book thinking it would be nice to get my infant on a schedule from the beginning since I also have an 18-month old, but, the scheduling they suggest is completely unrealistic for young babies and it was much more frustrating to try to do everything "by the book" than it was to just go with my natural instincts (and incorporating information from other books.) My 2nd baby turned out to be a pretty high-needs child (completely different from my 1st which shows why this parenting technique simply won't work for all kids) and we all did a lot better after I decided just to "wear" her in the Bjorn most of the time. When she got older (around 9 weeks) she naturally outgrew her need to be held constantly and turned into an incredibly happy baby who now cries only when she's tired or hungry. From the beginning she was a great sleeper and now at 12 weeks, she takes regular long naps (two 1-hr naps and 1 2-1/2 hr nap) and sleeps regularly from 9p-7a, waking up either 0 or 1 time for a feeding (this is with no crying and on-demand breastfeeding.) I consider myself a moderate person, I'm certainly not dedicated to attachment parenting and I'm actually a big fan of scheduling kids b/c they really do seem to prefer having a set routine, but, I think it should be done on an age-appropriate basis (starting around 3-4 months at the earliest), taking the individual needs of the baby into consideration. I also cannot imagine going a lifetime without experiencing the pure joy of rocking your child to sleep and holding a helpless tiny life in your arms while they slumber away. If you follow this book to the letter, it seems to me a lot of the joy of parenting an infant would be taken away -- it's such a short period of time, it's a shame to waste it.

With that said, you're obviously looking at reviews of this book because you need information on your child, so, I have some other recommendations.

For sleep information, I highly recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, a pediatrician. The Ferber book (also written by a Dr. who is a pediatric sleep specialist), Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems, is also very good. They are both cry it out books, but, with much more age-appropriate and scientifically based recommendations. (For example, a baby simply isn't developmentally capable of learning to self-soothe to sleep until they're at least 12-14 weeks old, so, it's pretty nonsensical to let a child younger than that cry themselves to sleep because you won't see any reduction in crying until they can learn to self-soothe. If you do controlled crying at an age-appropriate time, they may cry a little, but, the crying will get less and less very quickly because they can learn to soothe themselves to sleep.)

If scheduling your newborn is your main interest, I think the Baby Whisperer book is much more realistic because it is much more flexible and teaches parents how to watch for cues their baby is sending, though, I think even that book is best suited for slightly older babies (2-3mo+), even though the author thinks you should start her routine from birth.

If this book is appealing to you because you have a fussy baby and are at your wits end, check out The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp or The Fussy Baby Book: Parenting Your High-Need Child From Birth to Age Five by Dr. Sears. I don't agree with everything Dr. Sears says, especially his pro-co-sleeping stand, but, I do think he's right on point about meeting the needs of young infants (under 3-4 months old) who are fussier than average.

There is some good information in this book and I'm sure it's helped a lot of parents, especially new parents who haven't been around infants very much, but, it also has some really really bad advice. (I agree with the reviewer who said you should try to go 4 hours without so much as a drink of water and see how happy you feel.) The other thing that makes me crazy about this book is that it is completely ridiculous to think that you know more than your baby does about when he needs to eat. Believe me, from day 1, your baby is fully equipped to tell you when he needs to eat. Please don't let this book convince you otherwise. (Now, sleeping, that's another subject and I highly recommend reading Weissbluth's book about sleep.)

If you do end up buying this book, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, inject your own common sense into this approach because I could really see how following it precisily could lead to disastrous consequences (especially during hot summer months). And most importantly, try to ENJOY and LOVE your children and don't think of raising kids as a war between you and them. What they need most of all is your love and the confidence that you will meet their basic needs. The first few months are all about developing confidence and trust and making them feel secure in this world that's so scary to them compared to the in-utero environment they'd been living in for 9 months. I don't think this book helps parents accomplish that in the least. Trust yourself, love your kids, read a good sleep book written by a doctor, and you'll be a wonderful parent!

121 of 144 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very misunderstood, but wonderful book, February 22, 2006

By 

J. Leo (norton, ma) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Sleep Reference Guide Used by Over 1,000,000 Parents Worldwide (Paperback)

A friend recommended this book to me before my first daughter was born, and after reading the reviews on Amazon, I was certain that I wanted no part of it. After my friend assured me that the things I had read were in no way true, I bought the book and have used it with both my girls, and recommended it to everyone I know expecting babies.

First of all, this book NEVER says not to feed your baby if he/she is hungry. In fact, it states in bold, in several places, that you absolutely need to feed your baby if he/she is hungry, regardless of whether they last ate 3 hours ago or 1 hour ago. One of the main points of the book is to try and figure out why your baby is crying or upset. If he/she is hungry, feed the baby. However, your baby may cry for many reasons, and not all of them are because the baby is hungry. Feeding your baby everytime he/she cries leads the baby to snacking, which isn't good for you, and is especially bad for the baby if you are breastfeeding. The richest, most calorie dense milk (hind milk) is found toward the end of the feeding cycle, and doesn't come the first few minutes of nursing. If your baby is snacking, he/she is never getting that rich hind milk.

The second main point of the book is to change the cycle that most parents employ with their babies. Instead of putting the baby to bed right after feeding, feed the baby after he/she wakes up from naps. This way, the baby will stop eating when he/she is full, not when he/she is tired, which is a huge problem, especially with very little babies.

I don't believe there is one single right way to raise children, so if you've read the book and don't think that their methods fit with your lifestyle or goals, that's one thing. But I can't see how anyone who has actually read the book can dismiss it as dangerous. Again, the book tells you in several place, in big, bold letters, that if your baby is hungry, FEED YOUR BABY!