Customer Reviews

On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Sleep Reference Guide Used by Over 1,000,000 Parents Worldwide

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I am not interested in Ezzo- or GFI-bashing here in this review.

As a mom of three infant boys, each a little over a year apart with one more on the way, I see nothing wrong with the gist of the Babywise book. The principles for eating and sleeping work rather well if you employ them with some grace and flexibility as tiny ones require. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Ezzo's do not suggest tossing your tenderness, intuition, or creative parenting out the window--they provide some basic eating/sleeping instructions very similar to those sent home with Mom a generation ago from Dr. Spock, the pediatrician, or the hospital nurse (but not highly common nowadays due to the AAP's shift in philosophy). Such advice will not harm your baby unless you employ their methods religiously as if it is the "magic formula" to enjoying newborns. There exists no such formula--not in Ezzo, and not in the Sears or child-centered camp either.

Briefly, the basic principles covered include:
1. Feeding approx every three hours
2. Trying to keep your baby awake during feedings and a little afterwards.
3. Putting your baby down to sleep before the next feeding
4. Keeping your baby on a eat-wake-sleep routine to help their hunger stabilize for faster nighttime sleeping.
5. Trying not to allow babies to become overdependent for sleep on any one prop (rocking, swings, slings, pacifiers, car rides, etc).
6. Generally helping the baby's needs to fit into you and your family's routine, rather than arranging you and your family's needs completely around the baby's routine (or having none at all).

I maintain that these principles, while presented a little briskly, are not damaging to infants. They are in fact very helpful if after a month or two your baby does not naturally seem to eat or sleep with any pattern, or if he/she has the days and nights mixed up. But people take the Ezzo's too far when they pretend that their methods are gospel to tending, pacifying, or loving newborns--or MAKING them do anything. All they can do is provide guidelines for structure. And yet there is a tendency for new parents with a distinctively wailing newborn to be anxious for solutions to stop the crying, and for signs that they are feeding the child enough, doing all the right things. If you follow Ezzo (or Sears) believing that they will keep you safe, your real relationship with your baby may suffer because that is the wrong mentality to approach parenting. It is this formula-seeking, intimidated approach to parenting that is the real danger to a child's health and psychology, not the actual guidelines in the book. I thoroughly believe that any wild incidents you hear about concerning Ezzo-following came from this mentality, at the root.

That said, it is also true that not all methods are created equal. With one preschooler, one two-year old, one baby, and one forthcoming child in the house now, my husband and I have found that a philosophy which leans a little more towards where the Ezzo's are coming from produces better results than the philosophy that the Sears' or even the AAP endorses, especially by late toddlerhood. The tendency for child-centered parenting to go awry by the two-year old stage--for the parent OR the two-year old!--is noticeable. And the time demands on a parent (or two) practicing this way is almost impossible if you work or your children's ages are close together.

I agree that Babywise could use a little more seasoning of flexibility and lovingkindness in its presentation. It seems to assume that you have already heard all the right ways to parent and is therefore coming from a corrective position rather than an objectively inexperienced one. However, the basic principles are presented clearly and that is the purpose of the book. I found that the principles worked especially well with my first son who cried a lot, had reflux, and could have been considered "a difficult baby." The advice was not so necessary for my next two sons who were easier babies in the eating/sleeping area (and had a more experienced mom!). For more warmth and depth, I'd recommend Tracy Hogg's "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" which combines the best of the Babywise advice along with some humor and nuanced examples of how to apply this stuff.

Or, on the philosophy end, you can try "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson for a vision of motherhood as a whole and then try to apply the Babywise advice in that context. After all, parenting (even infants) is not just about helping them to eat and sleep right... although it certainly feels like that for the first couple months.

I read this book thinking it would be nice to get my infant on a schedule from the beginning since I also have an 18-month old, but, the scheduling they suggest is completely unrealistic for young babies and it was much more frustrating to try to do everything "by the book" than it was to just go with my natural instincts (and incorporating information from other books.) My 2nd baby turned out to be a pretty high-needs child (completely different from my 1st which shows why this parenting technique simply won't work for all kids) and we all did a lot better after I decided just to "wear" her in the Bjorn most of the time. When she got older (around 9 weeks) she naturally outgrew her need to be held constantly and turned into an incredibly happy baby who now cries only when she's tired or hungry. From the beginning she was a great sleeper and now at 12 weeks, she takes regular long naps (two 1-hr naps and 1 2-1/2 hr nap) and sleeps regularly from 9p-7a, waking up either 0 or 1 time for a feeding (this is with no crying and on-demand breastfeeding.) I consider myself a moderate person, I'm certainly not dedicated to attachment parenting and I'm actually a big fan of scheduling kids b/c they really do seem to prefer having a set routine, but, I think it should be done on an age-appropriate basis (starting around 3-4 months at the earliest), taking the individual needs of the baby into consideration. I also cannot imagine going a lifetime without experiencing the pure joy of rocking your child to sleep and holding a helpless tiny life in your arms while they slumber away. If you follow this book to the letter, it seems to me a lot of the joy of parenting an infant would be taken away -- it's such a short period of time, it's a shame to waste it.

With that said, you're obviously looking at reviews of this book because you need information on your child, so, I have some other recommendations.

For sleep information, I highly recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, a pediatrician. The Ferber book (also written by a Dr. who is a pediatric sleep specialist), Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems, is also very good. They are both cry it out books, but, with much more age-appropriate and scientifically based recommendations. (For example, a baby simply isn't developmentally capable of learning to self-soothe to sleep until they're at least 12-14 weeks old, so, it's pretty nonsensical to let a child younger than that cry themselves to sleep because you won't see any reduction in crying until they can learn to self-soothe. If you do controlled crying at an age-appropriate time, they may cry a little, but, the crying will get less and less very quickly because they can learn to soothe themselves to sleep.)

If scheduling your newborn is your main interest, I think the Baby Whisperer book is much more realistic because it is much more flexible and teaches parents how to watch for cues their baby is sending, though, I think even that book is best suited for slightly older babies (2-3mo+), even though the author thinks you should start her routine from birth.

If this book is appealing to you because you have a fussy baby and are at your wits end, check out The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp or The Fussy Baby Book: Parenting Your High-Need Child From Birth to Age Five by Dr. Sears. I don't agree with everything Dr. Sears says, especially his pro-co-sleeping stand, but, I do think he's right on point about meeting the needs of young infants (under 3-4 months old) who are fussier than average.

There is some good information in this book and I'm sure it's helped a lot of parents, especially new parents who haven't been around infants very much, but, it also has some really really bad advice. (I agree with the reviewer who said you should try to go 4 hours without so much as a drink of water and see how happy you feel.) The other thing that makes me crazy about this book is that it is completely ridiculous to think that you know more than your baby does about when he needs to eat. Believe me, from day 1, your baby is fully equipped to tell you when he needs to eat. Please don't let this book convince you otherwise. (Now, sleeping, that's another subject and I highly recommend reading Weissbluth's book about sleep.)

If you do end up buying this book, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, inject your own common sense into this approach because I could really see how following it precisily could lead to disastrous consequences (especially during hot summer months). And most importantly, try to ENJOY and LOVE your children and don't think of raising kids as a war between you and them. What they need most of all is your love and the confidence that you will meet their basic needs. The first few months are all about developing confidence and trust and making them feel secure in this world that's so scary to them compared to the in-utero environment they'd been living in for 9 months. I don't think this book helps parents accomplish that in the least. Trust yourself, love your kids, read a good sleep book written by a doctor, and you'll be a wonderful parent!

A friend recommended this book to me before my first daughter was born, and after reading the reviews on Amazon, I was certain that I wanted no part of it. After my friend assured me that the things I had read were in no way true, I bought the book and have used it with both my girls, and recommended it to everyone I know expecting babies.

First of all, this book NEVER says not to feed your baby if he/she is hungry. In fact, it states in bold, in several places, that you absolutely need to feed your baby if he/she is hungry, regardless of whether they last ate 3 hours ago or 1 hour ago. One of the main points of the book is to try and figure out why your baby is crying or upset. If he/she is hungry, feed the baby. However, your baby may cry for many reasons, and not all of them are because the baby is hungry. Feeding your baby everytime he/she cries leads the baby to snacking, which isn't good for you, and is especially bad for the baby if you are breastfeeding. The richest, most calorie dense milk (hind milk) is found toward the end of the feeding cycle, and doesn't come the first few minutes of nursing. If your baby is snacking, he/she is never getting that rich hind milk.

The second main point of the book is to change the cycle that most parents employ with their babies. Instead of putting the baby to bed right after feeding, feed the baby after he/she wakes up from naps. This way, the baby will stop eating when he/she is full, not when he/she is tired, which is a huge problem, especially with very little babies.

I don't believe there is one single right way to raise children, so if you've read the book and don't think that their methods fit with your lifestyle or goals, that's one thing. But I can't see how anyone who has actually read the book can dismiss it as dangerous. Again, the book tells you in several place, in big, bold letters, that if your baby is hungry, FEED YOUR BABY!

"Baby care book could be dangerous" - Child magazine, August 1998
"Babywise advice linked to dehydration, failure to thrive" - "AAP News," April 1998
"A Tough Plan for Raising Children Draws Fire: Babywise Books Worry Pediatricians and Others" - Washington Post, February 27, 1999

These startling headlines refer to the top-selling and highly controversial childcare guides On Becoming Babywise (published in 1995) and Babywise II, written by Gary Ezzo, a self-described Christian pastor, and endorsed by Robert Bucknam, a pediatrician. Babywise is aimed at parents of babies up to 5 months old, and Babywise II addresses parents of children 5 to 15 months old. In 1999, Ezzo and Bucknam published On Becoming Childwise, a guide for parents of toddlers through 8-year-olds.
Ezzo, who has no formal medical training, is executive director of the for-profit organization Growing Families International (GFI). With his wife, Anne Marie, Ezzo runs church-based classes for parents who wish to give their children a rigid religious upbringing. Although few readers know it, the Babywise books are the secular versions of Ezzo's original parenting program, which includes guides such as "Preparation for Parenting" and "Growing Kids God's Way" (GKGW). The content of these guides is based on GFI's own unpublished self-conducted studies. The studies have not been subjected to peer review, which means there has been no independent, professional evaluation of the studies or their findings, the usual method of verifying the worth of scientific studies.

Despite the fact that Ezzo quickly developed a large following - reportedly more than a million families in 93 countries, with his books translated into 17 languages - distress over his program also developed. What are doctors, lactation specialists, and child development experts, some of whom are Christians, concerned about? Ezzo's self-designed, strictly regimented feeding program, called Parent-Directed Feeding (PDF), which has parents put their newborn on a strict feeding / waking / sleeping schedule. Rather than feed a baby when he shows signs of hunger - a technique known as demand feeding - parents are instructed to feed by the clock. The goal? Ostensibly to establish routine in your baby's life from day one and stick to it no matter what.

An outcry from medical and child development experts persuaded Ezzo to revise his 1998 version of Babywise to say that babies should be fed when they're hungry. However, the book still instructs otherwise: It tells parents that if their baby doesn't eat at a scheduled feeding, he must wait until the next one. In fact, the book abounds with mixed messages. For example, in one part of the book it says, "Understand that some babies may need to feed more often, others less." Yet two pages later it says, "The point is this: It's okay to deviate from the two-and-a-half- to three-hour feeding norm. But do not deviate so often that you establish a new norm."

Distress among doctors and childcare professionals

Alarm bells went off when doctors began seeing more and more infants who were showing signs of failure to thrive, poor weight gain, and dehydration. When questioned about their feeding practices, many of the parents admitted they were following Ezzo's PDF program. And though they could see something was drastically wrong with their infants, the parents found it hard - sometimes impossible - to blame PDF. After all, they were following the advice of a Christian pastor and a pediatrician. How could such experts be wrong?

Many members of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) found a great deal wrong. In fact, in April 1998, a hundred doctors, lactation specialists, and childcare professionals sent a letter to the AAP contending that a number of Ezzo's statements were unsubstantiated and false. Although it didn't name Ezzo specifically, the AAP responded by issuing a Media Alert reaffirming its position that scheduled feedings may put babies at risk for poor weight gain and deydration. The statement advised parents that "newborns should be nursed whenever they show signs of hunger, such as increased alertness or activity, mouthing, or rooting. Crying is a late indicator of hunger. Newborns should be nursed approximately eight to 12 times every 24 hours until satiety."

Doctors and Christians part company with Babywise

Matthew Aney, a Christian pediatrician and member of the AAP, worries that the advice in Babywise doesn't allow for individual differences among breastfeeding mothers and babies. He points out that while some parents may be able to follow the PDF method, Ezzo offers no alternative for those who can't. It's a one-size-fits-all prescription that can leave parents who "fail" the program feeling guilty and filled with doubt about their parenting skills. Aney found parents were often reluctant to admit they were following the PDF schedule, especially if they had a strong religious commitment to the program.

Aney points out at least 35 unsubstantiated medical "facts" in Babywise. Here are three examples:

* "Demand-fed babies don't sleep through the night."

* "A mother who takes her baby to her breast 12, 15, or 20 times a day will not produce any more milk than the mom who takes her baby to her breast six to seven times a day."

* "Mothers following PDF have little or no problem with the letdown reflex compared to those who demand-feed."

Aney says that Ezzo simply throws out these statements without offering data to support them. He's also disturbed by Ezzo's questioning of recent research that shows that putting a baby to sleep on his back will reduce the chance of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Ezzo says that the research is not conclusive, and that experts used questionable methods of gathering data. In fact, research conclusively shows that back sleeping has reduced the incidence of SIDS by about 30 percent.

BabyCenter's sleep expert Jodi Mindell says that while babies thrive on schedules and routine, she doesn't know of a single medical expert who supports using a PDF system. "Babies should be fed when they are hungry," says Mindell. "Limiting a baby's feeding times is physically and emotionally dangerous."

James McKenna, director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at Indiana's University of Notre Dame, agrees. "The Ezzos appear to be the masters of the 'one-size-should-fit-all' school of childcare," he says. "Their simplistic, judgmental, and utterly self-serving program confuses personal and religious values with science, and strictly controlled infant care with successful parenting. The two are anything but compatible."

It's not just doctors and researchers who have parted company with Gary Ezzo and GFI. The board of elders of Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California (the church where Ezzo first developed his parenting guides), issued a public statement ending all association with Ezzo and his GFI ministry. In their statement, they express concern about GFI's rigid feeding schedule and the organization's "blurring of the line between that which is truly Biblical and simple matters of preference." The elders worry that GFI's parents tend to isolate their children from those outside the GFI community. They also feel uncomfortable about Gary Ezzo's practice of responding "with exaggerated and even false accusations against his critics."

Another respected Christian organization that doesn't support the use of Ezzo's materials is Focus on the Family. The group has received numerous letters from parents, pastors, midwives, physicians, and lactation professionals reporting cases of failure to thrive in infants subjected to the PDF program. In a letter to Matthew Aney, one member of Focus expressed concern that parents who follow Ezzo's "controlled feeding proposals" could even wind up abusing their children.

The Child Abuse Prevention Council of Orange County, California, expressed similar fears. In a public document, council members reported their concerns about the risk of physical abuse to children when parents follow "Growing Kids God's Way." They note that "although the Ezzos advocate several alternatives to corporal punishment, they include the use of a strip of firm rubber to strike children." The council worries that condoning corporal punishment could lead some parents to abuse their children.

With so many people speaking out against it, what's the continuing appeal of Babywise?

"The appeal of Babywise is that everyone wants a good night's sleep, and everyone wants their kids to turn out well," says Kathleen Terner, a research associate at the Christian Research Institute who has spent several years investigating GFI and its programs. "Ezzo promises both if you follow his book faithfully. His information is very specific and is presented as foolproof. Sadly, many parents believe that if something is in print, then it has to be true."

In a 1998 article in the Christian Research Journal called "More Than a Parenting Ministry: The Cultic Characteristics of Growing Families International," Terner, who is herself a Christian and a mother of a young child, and co-author Elliot Miller acknowledge that GFI has some good things to contribute to the subject of Christian parenting, such as teaching children to be responsible, obedient, and respectful of others. But Terner feels the potential dangers of the program far outweigh the benefits. Jan Barger, an international board-certified lactation consultant, agrees. "The overarching goal of Babywise is to shape children who are outwardly compliant, sleep a lot, and don't interfere with their parents' lives, rather than teaching parents how to develop happy, healthy, contented, intelligent babies."

So what's a parent to think?

"Do your homework before deciding what's best for your children," says Kathleen Terner. When it comes to choosing a childcare guide, check the author's credentials. Is he trained in medicine and child development? Does she back up her statements with medically proven facts? Who has endorsed the book? Get advice on choosing a guide from your pediatrician, lactation consultant, religious leader, or other parents. You also can contact the American Academy of Pediatrics or read that organization's own series of childcare books and brochures.

As a general rule of thumb, keep in mind that some babies don't need to be fed more than every three hours, but many need to be fed more often. Especially in the first few months, when your baby is growing rapidly, you should feed him when he shows signs of hunger. As he gets older, he will require less frequent feeding and will sleep for longer periods between meals. Above all, trust your baby to communicate his needs - and trust yourself to satisfy those needs.

I have never written a review, but felt compelled to share my experience with this book.

Last year, a good friend of mine had her first baby. She was introduced to Baby Wise by another mother. I watched her apply the rigid principles to her newborn, making comments such as "he (her newborn) must learn that my life is not all about him." I was a little shocked, but at the time had no children of my own and figured any advice I had would fall on deaf ears.

When I became pregnant, I was not surprised that my first gift from this friend was the book Baby Wise. Out of curiosity, I read it, but basically put the information aside. However, after my first night home with my own baby, I was frantic. I had an infant who wasn't sleeping or nursing well (or what I defined as "well"). I didn't know what to do, so I turned to Baby Wise.

I wish I would have never even opened this book. The first month of my son's life was spent trying to force him to conform to a schedule he did not want to conform to. I will never forget the first night I let him cry when I put him down to sleep. I went downstairs, turned on the TV and sobbed. I hated hearing him cry, but Baby Wise told me this is what I was supposed to do. After 10 minutes, I went into his room and he was red in the face and had spit up from crying. But even more disturbing, under the guidance of Baby Wise and my friend, I let this go on. And instead of continuing to be saddened by my son's crys, I started to get annoyed by them. He wasn't doing what "the book" said he would. We had well more than 3 nights of crying. It was to the point I dreaded having to care for him.

Then, I got wise. I read other books, spoke to other moms and realized my son was not supposed to conform to a schedule at such an early age. And I began to realize that letting a newborn cry himself to sleep was inappropriate and possibly even damaging. My son had just come out of a cozy womb where every one of his needs were met and now he relied on me and my husband to respond to his needs, and crying was his only way of communicating. Why should we ignore that?

My son is now almost 2 months old and I have finally learned to respond to his cues. I feel that this would have occurred a lot earlier if I hadn't been following the Baby Wise plan, which teaches you to respond to the clock and your own personal needs. And guess what...he is falling into his own routine, one that fits his temperament and needs. I no longer fight him to take a nap when he isn't tired or force him to eat when he isn't hungry. And best of all, I LOVE being his mom. I have realized that my role isn't just parenting throughout the day, but also throughout night. And even without the Baby Wise schedule, my 2 month old is very close to sleeping through the night.

My recommendation is that if you are going to read this book, read other books with opposing opinions. I highly recommend "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. This book truly taught me to enjoy my newborn while applying guidelines that fit into my family's lifestyle in order to help him develop good sleep habits. Contrary to what Babywise implies, sleeping through the night should not be the main goal of parenting...raising a happy, healthy baby who has a deep connection with his family should be. My biggest regret is that I wasted the first precious weeks of my firstborn's life trying to apply the Baby Wise principles....weeks that I will never get back.

Some of the opponents of this book state that not 1 thing will work for all children - and that is exactly right. This book does not say it will work for all children. It, just like ALL parenting books, gives some methods for you to try - and if you don't like them or they don't work, then tweak them until it works for you and your child. That is the essence of all child-rearing books. If anyone EVER fully put all their stock in 1 book and swore they would do that for all children, that would be wrong.
I think the BEST advice of this book is the ORDER in which you do things with your baby - feeding, playtime, naptime. Having their playtime AFTER their feeding makes so much sense - that way when you put them down for their naptime, they learn how to put themselves to sleep and don't require nursing or sucking on a bottle to fall asleep (which can cause tooth decay). This makes things so much easier for both child and parent as they get older. I used this daily with my 2 children, and they have been able to be put down in a crib and fall asleep with no fussing or fits. They know how to fall asleep on their own. That doesn't mean that I don't rock them and cuddle with them - but when it is bedtime, they go to bed.
I also want to clarify a common misconception that the book says you HAVE to wait 3 hours to feed your baby and just to make them cry it out. Numerous times throughout the book it clarifies that ideally, you want your baby to go 2.5 to 3 hours before feeding, and to try to stretch them to that. However, it also says that if at 2 hours they are crying and ready to eat, go ahead and feed them - and make sure they get a FULL feeding - and then try again at the next feeding to get them to go a little longer.
There is also no reason for your children to suffer dehydration - this book gives you exactly what to look for and even a chart to fill out - where you keep track of wet diapers and dirty diapers so that you know your baby is getting enough milk. It tells you how many wet and dirty diapers to expect a day on average. It tells you what to look for to make sure your baby is getting a full feeding and nursing correctly. If you don't pay attention to those things, whether you read this book or not, then your baby could get dehydrated. That is the parent's reponsibility - not the book's.
I found this book very helpful - and as I said - I adjusted certain things to work with my children - which is what any intelligent person should do. Do not follow any parenting book blindly without thinking for yourselves.

Gary Ezzo's methods are no doubt controversial. Personally I do not agree with his religeious ideas at all and his personal/institutional track record (just search the interent about him) is unfavorable. But his methods are not as extreme as people interpret him to be. It is amazing the untrue rumors about his book. If you don't like his book and want to be accruate in your rejection of him please read it (most librarys have it) and then please try to be accurate when you criticize him.

If your aren't just outright against him here is some more information for you....

First of all, if you want to sleep with your baby and feed on demand (in the definition of whenever you *think* he needs feeding), and want to feed your baby to sleep this is definitely not the book for you. You will be wasting your time and may even become angry with what you read. I'm not saying this negatively, I'm just not wanting you to waste your time. Dr. Sears' books will be much more in line with your philosophies and I recommend them to you.

For those of you who are still curious:

SCHEDULES AND SLEEP -
He does not ascribe to a strict schedule at all. He himself says you must observe and know your own baby. If your baby is hungry early - you feed him! This will not lead to an underweight or dehydrated baby.

Most babies, given the chance, would put themselves on a "schedule" if only you feed them right after they wake up and give them wake time after they eat. In other words, don't feed/nurse them to sleep. That's it. If you want them to sleep through the night then make sure they eat at least every three hours during the day (note I said at least, that means at the longest, not at the shortest!) - they will sleep through on their own when they are ready because they are getting enough calories during the day (a premie or one or two week old need to be fed more often). A baby who is feed/nursed to sleep may not be getting a full meal each time and so gets hungry more often and doesn't get enough calories to get through the night.

CRYING IT OUT -
Now, he does ascribe to the philosophy of "crying it out", which is one I do not. I will give him credit for saying that you must know your baby's cries and that "I'm tired and trying to fall asleep cry" can turn into a hunger cry when he's used up a lot of energy and if you don't listen carefully you might miss it and then you have a hungry, unconsolable baby. And he doesn't believe you should keep letting your baby cry if they are crying frantically - you should pick them up and hold them.

OTHER RECOMMENDATION INSTEAD OF BABY WISE -
Personally, I don't let my baby cry herself to sleep. If you want an alternative to crying it out and like the idea of a flexible routine I would highly recommend "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracey Hogg. I would recommend this in addition to Baby Wise anyway since she apparently has much more experience with babies (having been a nanny and then a consultant for many years) and her books are much more thorough and easy to consult. Her last book "The Baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems" is a great troubleshooting guide. She also has a website with forums to discuss things with other parents.

MY STORY -
Personally I use a flexible routine and never let her "cry it out". When it is bed or nap time we hold her until she is calmly alert and then we lay her down and stay with her until her eyes are closing, then we walk out before she is actually asleep. If she fights sleep, as she will sometimes do, and cry if we put her down, we will hold her until her eyes are closing, then we put her down and also stay with her until she is fully asleep. When she is not fussy at all we don't hold her more than a few moments, we put her down wide awake, but yawning (not just when it happens to be her bedtime like Ezzo advises - but when she is actually yawning and sleepy like the Baby Whisperer advises), and if she doesn't fuss at that point we leave. If she gets upset we go in and hold her. This way she is slowly getting used to going to sleep on her own, but we are there for her when she needs us. ...and doesn't have to cry!

Maybe that is just our baby, but with this our baby was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. And I don't mean the "standard" definition of 5 hours straight. I mean 7 to 8 hours straight!

So, as with other things, choose what you do for your baby wisely. This can be a good book to read, but should probably be balanced with some other books, if for no other reason as to give you some choices when things don't go the way you planned.

The fact that something works doesn't make it right...although it can make it tempting. As a Mom of one who didn't sleep more than 3 hours at a stretch for over a year (and a 10 week old), I can understand the desperation that can overcome you when you're sleep deprived. Having said that, had I followed Mr Ezzo's advice, it's unlikely that we would've had the motivation to seek out and eliminate the source of my 2 year old's night wakings...food allergies.
My real concern here is that, in an effort to raise children using Christian values, we would choose to follow the advice of a stranger rather than using our God-given instincts. Letting a baby "cry it out" is "hard on the parents" because it goes against the little voice inside you. That little voice inside you is your conscience.
Your baby IS crying to manipulate you - but not in the negative sense. They are telling you, in the only way they can, that they need you. Whether it's because they're hungry, uncomfortable, scared, lonely or hurting - the appropriate response it to help them so that they know that they can count on you. Not going to them works because they learn that there's no point in crying, no one's coming to help them.
Children are inconvienent. Everything that is truly good in life is. Get some coffee, get some help and think long and hard before substituting anyone else's values/ judgement for your own..especially when it comes to your children.

After reading Babywise I'm concerned that the rigidity of the feeding program the Ezzos' advocate puts newborn infants at risk of inadequate weight gain and dehydration, especially in the sensitive first weeks after birth. In addition to this, it is unnatural to use the EAS (Eat, Activity, Sleep) system to effectively bond and nurture an infant. I certainly won't use it with my baby and would never recommend it to my patients without fear of malpractice!!!

I strongly recommend parents ignore the Babywise book and instead take some time to review the Dr. Sear's series for an instinctual and natural way of infant and child-rearing.

I am often amazed at the disparate reviews of this book. People seem to either love it or hate it.

Personally, I loved it. My belief as an M.D. is that humans as a whole respond to routine. We develop routine as adults, and benefit from it as infants. The concept of Parent Direct Feeding (PDF) as outlined in the book is not strict. It allows for significant flexibility, a point that seems to be missed by several who have criticized the book as dangerous. The point is never to dehydrate our babies or make them insecure. Security develops from routine. Knowing what will come next without the fear of abandonment is what limits our anxiety and provides for a secure attachment. Babywise is not hyperscheduling or the cry-it-out method. Nor is it on-demand. The routine is flexible and based on baby's hunger cues. It is a style of teaching your child about sleeping, eating, and playing.

I am not Christian and was in no way compelled to read or even follow the christian guidelines outlined at the end of the book. As with all baby books, you can usually glean some useful information that works for you while discarding that which does not apply to your style of childcare.

If any of this sounds sensible to you, then read this book at some point before or after your baby arrives. PDF is one idea, one philosophy, and you can take some useful information from it whether or not you follow it "strictly."

My daughter was sleeping 8 hours a night at 12-weeks-old, 10-11 hours by 5 months. She is healthy, happy and well-adjusted now at 18 months.

Overall my advice is to beware of the extremes of thought. Whether it's the strict schedulers or the wholly on-demand types, there is a happy medium somewhere in between.

Good luck!