On Becoming Childwise: Parenting Your Child from 3-7 Years [Paperback]

Gary Ezzo (Author), Robert Bucknam (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 2001

As a child moves beyond the toddler years, new challenges arise for parents. Be prepared for this exciting stage with fifteen "Childwise" principles for training children ages 3-7 in happy and responsible living.

Product Details

• Paperback: 261 pages
• Publisher: Parent - Wise Solutions, Inc. (November 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0971453233
• ISBN-13: 978-0971453234
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #31,912 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

73 of 82 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful!, November 17, 2004

By 

marciebaby (Charleston, SC United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: On Becoming Childwise: Parenting Your Child from 3-7 Years (Paperback)

I am the mother of two children. My six year old is naturally sweet and fairly compliant. My four year old has such a joyful spirit, but I could not seem to get the child to obey. This became a very dangerous situation one day while playing outside. We had often played in this park that was fenced in next to a busy road, but this particular day he squeezed through the bars of the fence and started running around in circles near the road. With tremendous fear, I screamed and cried and pleaded for him to come back (there was no way I could sqeeze through, climb over, or even go around the fence), but he just liked doing things his own way. There was no way for me to get to him. It finally occured to me to send his sister in after him and she returned him to me safely.

I knew at that point that I had to do something or this child was going to kill himself. I was wary of actually purchasing this book since Gary Ezzo has been the target of such bad press, so I checked it out at the library to see what it had to say.

I noticed a difference in his behavior right away. Just simply insisting that the children respond to me with "Yes, Mommy," allows them to verbally agree that they are going to obey me.

I was so worried that if I toughened up at all that I would crush his sweet little spirit, but that hasn't happened. He still has that little twinkle in his eye and is full of enthusiasm for life. He's just happier now because he clearly knows his boundaries.

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good Food For Thought, August 24, 2007

By 

Maddie - See all my reviews

This review is from: On Becoming Childwise: Parenting Your Child from 3-7 Years (Paperback)

I have read "On Becoming Babywise" (vol. I and II) as well as the "Toddlerwise", "Preschool", and have just finished "Childwise". Here is what I found particularly helpful in the "On Becoming..." Series:
1)The emphasis on a loving marriage.
2)Stressing healthy eating and sleeping habits as a foundation to happy children (if you are smart about it even a busy mom can serve healthy food)
3)Obtaining eye contact then expecting a "Yes, Mama" or "Yes, Papa" after you ask your child to do something. More importantly, is the idea that even at a fairly young age, you begin to teach your child the "whys" of your rules (e.g. "We take care of other people's property!"). Said at an opportune moment, and always with the same inflection it can become a mantra that your little one soon enough will understand. ... My neighbor watched our two children (3 years and 15 months)for two hours while I helped my husband direct the moving company. ... At the end of their playtime together, the neighbor said to the oldest (boy)that they may just leave the toys out and she would get them later. My son then replied, "Oh no, we take care of other people's property" and then began to put the toys away. ...
4)Complimenting your child's good behavior to reinforce it ("Thank you, Samuel for not allowing the screen door to slam while baby Sara is sleeping. That was very considerate."). ... Add a gentle hug and you have a 2 1/2 year old beaming with pride. ... Now as a 3 y/o, making his big-boy bed makes him even more proud.
5)Deciding whether your child is being disobedient or just childish (it makes a difference). ...

There are other wonderful tools I have integrated into my parenting tool belt. These book have been a delight to use. ... Because we do not just live from moment to moment, we can also plan for lifes little pleasures (e.g. playtime with Mama and Papa or even family outtings).
... Despite what Attatchment Parenting people believe, training your child to navigate through his society is not a bad thing, it is the right thing and loving thing to do.

69 of 83 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Control Your Children!, March 12, 2002

By 

dougrhon "dougrhon" - See all my reviews

This review is from: On Becoming Childwise: Parenting Your Child from 3-7 Years (Paperback)

As parents of a three year old, my wife and I often encounter parents who seem to be ruled by the whims of their young children. You don't have to be an expert on child development to know that a young child needs boundaries and discipline. And yet so many parents today are reluctant to provide this. By trying to be their child's "friend" they are faling the child as parents. In this excellent little book, the authors provide a welcome antidote to much of the so-called "child centric" theory currently in vogue. According to this book, childhood is to be divided into a number of periods with the appropriate parental relationship different in each period. In the period covered by this book, 3-7, the authors stress the need for parents to bring their children under the control of parental authority. Only once children respect the authority of their parents can they be taught the important lessons and values that will turn them into healthy adults. The authors provide numerous case studies of situations in which parents do or do not act appropriately. At the end of each chapter they provide review questions. Each chapter concerns a different area of potential trouble. For example in one chapter the authors condem the notion of excessive choice. In another chapter, the authors discuss the vital importance of discipline and stress the absolute necessity that every act of discipline impart a lesson that the parents are teaching. In other words, discipline should never be out of anger but as an instructional tool.

This book has a great deal to offer. Many parents don't realize the harm they are doing their children through overindulgence. WHen I see friends whose children have no bedtime, whose older children refuse to stay in their rooms at night, who refuse to do their homework, who will not eat dinner at the family table, who rule the household, I realize that the pendulum has swung to far in the other direction. I think the authors are a little inflexible on certain issues. For example, I find that providing children with choices (reasonable ones of course) can give them a sense of empowerment. The trick is to make them choose "A" or "B" not to give them the choice of saying "no" altogether. This book provides food for thought. I highly recommend that readers of this book read Dr. Spock's Guide to Baby and Childcare. Spock is not the child centered theorist that people think and he too argues that children need structure, discipline and a sense that their parents are authority figures.