Becoming Gay: The Journey to Self-Acceptance (Vintage) [Paperback]

Richard Isay (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 5, 2009 | Series: Vintage

Now revised and updated for the 21st-century, Becoming Gay is the classic guide on how to accept one's homosexuality. By exploring the psychological development of gay men through personal case histories—including his own—Dr. Isay shows how disguising one's sexual identity can induce anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Individual chapters tackle acceptance in any stage or circumstance of life, whether it be adolescence, married-with-children, retirement age, or living with HIV and AIDS. Dr. Isay's insights provide invaluable support to gay men and will enliven families, friends, and therapists who want to better understand the process of coming out and help their loved ones or patients to embrace a positive gay identity.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

The author of Being Homosexual (LJ 4/1/89) tells how it all gets started.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Booklist

Isay follows his normalizing Freudian book on gay male psychodynamics, Being Homosexual (1989), with a consideration of how men accept their gayness. Nearly every chapter of the new book takes up self-acceptance during a different condition of life: adolescence, married-with-children, HIV-infected or living with AIDS, older age, and even, since Isay recounts his own transition, as a professional psychotherapist. Isay does not report only success stories: one married man he treated, unable to make the change from heterosexual front to comfortable homosexuality, ended up a suicide. Further, Isay concedes that some men manageably opt for not coming out: two married men he reports on decided to remain so and carefully regulate or altogether avoid homosexual contact. But Isay's thrust is that acknowledging one's gayness and being happy with it are possible, with the help of psychoanalysis, at any time after sexual maturity. Unsaid is that most gay men can't afford the time and money that Isay's Freud-derived psychoanalysis absorbs. Ray Olson --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Vintage (May 5, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307389774
• ISBN-13: 978-0307389770
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #433,468 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Made Me Proud To Be A Homosexual, January 17, 2000

By 

Peter Figurski ([e-mail]) (Smithtown, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Becoming Gay: The Journey To Self-Acceptance (Paperback)

I was born in Poland and had to deal with not only coming to America and facing the prejudices of being an immigrant, but I was a homsexual. Like most men in my situation I hid my identity to my friends and family. After reading this book it made me feel good about myself and who I am. I am now open with my family and even more importantly open with myself. This book made me feel better about who I am and my life is now the best I could of ever possibly imagined. For this I thankyou Richard A. Isay and for you amazing eye-opening book.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Becoming Gay, November 7, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Becoming Gay: The Journey To Self-Acceptance (Paperback)

I was initially put off by the title thinking it was leavingitself open for the 'are they trying to recruit people into becominggay' argument but when I read the book I got the intention: we are gay (or straight, bi, whatever) but in our society we need to fight against the prejudice and hatred that stops us from allowing ourselves to become gay in our identities in our everyday lives. I recently was talking with a gay man I went to high school with who is in the armed forces and although he is gay (in terms of his sexual orientation) his identity is heterosexual in that no one knows he's gay, he has no relationships, and is not connected to other gay people. This book would help someone love themselves and accept who they are.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars The insights of a gay psychiatrist, March 2, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Becoming Gay: The Journey To Self-Acceptance (Paperback)

Isay's years of practicing psychiatry provide him with lots of second hand stories of unique men in unique situations coming to terms with their sexualities. This is one of the first books I've seen that deals well with issues that face older men coming out, the issue of homosexuals in long-term heterosexual marriages, and how psychiatry and psychoanalysis has changed thanks to men like Isay.