Becoming Married (Family Living in Pastoral Perspective) [Paperback]

Herbert Anderson (Author), Robert Cotton Fite (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 1993 | Series: Family Living in Pastoral Perspective

This informative book examines the issues surrounding the process of forming the marriage bond such as courtship, the early years of marriage, and specifically, the events that must happen for successful bonding to take place. This book is designed for couples planning to marry, for parents who are struggling to stay close to their children while staying out of the wedding plans, and for clergy who work with couples preparing for marriage.

The Family Living in Pastoral Perspective series examines crucial times in family life in light of the family as a social unit. Each book addresses major changes that ordinarily occur in the life cycle of a family. Each volume takes into account family system theory and social and economic factors that affect the family.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Herbert Anderson is currently Research Professor of Practical Theology at Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary in Berkeley, California. He is the author or coauthor of over ninety articles and thirteen books, many of which are focused on integrating theology and family systems theory.

Robert Cotton Fite is an Episcopal priest and clinical psychologist. Fite worked as a clinician for twenty-seven years and served as Director of Lutheran's Counseling Center from 1986-2003. He currently serves as Priest Associate at St. Luke's Episcopal Church in Evanston, Illinois.

Product Details

• Paperback: 180 pages
• Publisher: Westminster John Knox Press; 1st edition (January 1, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0664251269
• ISBN-13: 978-0664251260
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #161,542 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book for Pastors, engaged couples and their parents!, May 5, 2001

By 

Kristin Ludwig (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Becoming Married (Family Living in Pastoral Perspective) (Paperback)

Herbert Anderson has some great approaches to pastoral ministry to those who intend on marrying! I am engaged and have learned so much about what it means to become married. I have given a copy to my pastor, and also to my mother! It is a book all should read. Anderson has some great pastoral excercises for pre-marriage work all pastors should read. It is a quick, easy to understand read!

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Buy the Whole Series, June 4, 2003

By 

Andrew Shults (Chicago, IL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Becoming Married (Family Living in Pastoral Perspective) (Paperback)

I own Anderson's entire Family Living in Pastoral Perspective series (Leaving Home, Becoming Married, Regarding Children, Promising Again, and Living Alone), and I refer to them frequently.

Each book focuses on a different transitional event and the family tasks that event brings into focus. Anderson and his co-authors deal sensitively with the pastoral issues involved.

Becoming Married explores the process of becoming married as more than just a wedding ceremony. Chapter one discusses how relationships must begin to be reordered before the wedding so that the couple's bond takes primacy over relationships with parents and friends. Chapter two introduces the genogram as a tool for exploring each person's family history in premarital counseling. Chapter three examines the wedding liturgy and ways to plan a meaningful wedding.

Chapter four covers several situations which can make the process of becoming married more complicated: interfaith marriages, interracial marriages, leftover or buried grief, living together before the wedding, and second marriages. Chapter five discusses post-wedding work and the nature of the marital bond. Finally, in chapter six the authors develop their theology of marriage.

All of the books are well-written and easy to read--no convoluted prose to parse here. The works have added texture from the many personal examples shared by the authors (both their own and examples others have shared with them).

Every book in the series deserves an honored place on any religious professional's shelf. Except, you may find them so valuable they rarely make it back to your shelf.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great for pre-marriage work with couples!, January 23, 2007

By 

John P. Rosenberg (Vancouver, WA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Becoming Married (Family Living in Pastoral Perspective) (Paperback)

This is the most helpful book on marriage I've ever read. Using Biblical and theological insights along with basic principles of family systems thinking, Anderson and Fite not only changed my understanding of my own marriage but they also helped me to be more effective in my work as a parish pastor. The section on pre-wedding meetings and the chapter on "Planning a meaningful wedding" provided a new way to do pre-marriage work with couples that was a vast improvement over past frustrations. I highly recommend it for clergy and anyone else who is interested in understanding the ongoing process of "becoming married."