Becoming the Parent You Want To Be: A Sourcebook of Strategies for the First Five Years [Paperback]

Laura Davis (Author), Janis Keyser (Contributor)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 3, 1997

Informative, inspiring, and enlightening, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be provides parents with the building blocks they need to discover their own parenting philosophy and develop effective parenting strategies.  Through in-depth information, practical suggestions, and many lively first-person stories, the authors address the many dilemmas and joys that the parent of young children encounter and demonstrate a range of solutions to the major issues that arise in the raising of babies, toddlers and preschoolers.  Full of warmth, clarity, humor, and respect, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be gives parents permission to be human: to question, to learn, to make mistakes, to struggle and to grow, and, most of all, to have fun with their children.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

This may be the best parenting book to come around in years. Laura Davis and Janis Keyser take a straightforward, real, and respectful approach to parenting and children. The book gives solid information on sound child development as well as specific tips that run the gamut from getting your child to sleep to dealing with fear of Halloween to toileting (toilet training) as a metaphor for learning to disciplinary issues. Based on nine principals that deal with issues of time, optimism, struggle, anger, balancing needs, and learning as you go, this book will help you discover and work with your own parenting philosophy.

From Booklist

Most new parents are eager for practical advice and support from others more knowledgeable about the needs of very young children. Davis and Keyser's guide compares favorably to the American Academy of Pediatrics' similarly substantive Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age Five (1991), as it presents a warm, upbeat approach to child rearing. Davis and Keyser assume children are eager to learn, and their parents, to participate actively in their education--a philosophy that animates the nine parenting principles, which include cultivating a spirit of optimism about your children, developing a vision for your family, understanding that parents are always growing, etc., that introduce and provide a framework for the rest of the text. Davis and Keyser weave tips, techniques, and personal stories together to address children's feelings, behaviors, bodies, and relationships fluidly, readably, and confidently. Kathryn Carpenter

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 448 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press; 1 edition (February 3, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553067508
• ISBN-13: 978-0553067507
• Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 1.1 x 9.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #19,719 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Laura Davis is a nationally recognized expert on healing from child sexual abuse. She is the co-author of The Courage to Heal, Beginning to Heal, and Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, as well as the author of Allies in Healing. She lives in Santa Cruz, CA.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

51 of 52 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A well-worn and dog-eared favorite in my home, December 5, 2005

By 

O. Peterson (New York City) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Becoming the Parent You Want To Be: A Sourcebook of Strategies for the First Five Years (Paperback)

I came across this book when my daughter was 3 after searching for a resource to better understand her developmental stages, and to give me some strategies to deal with things like tantrums and demanding behavior. After the birth of her sister, she was angry - and with me being so sleep-deprived, we were 'butting heads' and our relationship seemed to be going in a direction that worried me. I'm so glad I found this book. within the first 100 pages, I felt I already had gathered tools to improve our relationship. Unlike other books, this one teaches through REAL examples, and teaches you to truly see the child's perspective and that in turn gives you the understanding you need to make the right decisions. The moment I actually 'worked through' a tantrum and IT ACTUALLY WORKED I was stunned. I go back to this book so often - especially when in those weak moments I don't handle something the way I would have hoped - and through the real stories of other parents, you are reassured that you are only human and tomorrow is another chance to strive to make the best decisions you can for your child. I have recommended this book to every parent I meet.

129 of 146 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great for toddlers and preschoolers, a bit off for babies, April 5, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Becoming the Parent You Want To Be: A Sourcebook of Strategies for the First Five Years (Paperback)

As everyone so far has written, this is a wonderful, empathetic book. It includes a wealth of information, in a depth rarely found in popular parenting books. As a single mom, I appreciated that the authors do not assume that everyone has the "ideal" two-parent middle class WASP family. However, although the book's subtitle says that it is for the first five years, I find some of its advice on infant care questionable. They think it is okay to let your baby cry to learn independence, if it agrees with the parents' values. They also wrongly claim that "...some children never lose interest in nursing..." and advocate adult-led weaning. Buy this book for helpful information about your toddler and preschooler, but for babies, see the books by Martha and William Sears (The Baby Book, Parenting the Fussy Baby and High Need Child, The Discipline Book) for a more sensitive approach.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book that respects both parents and children, November 23, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Becoming the Parent You Want To Be: A Sourcebook of Strategies for the First Five Years (Paperback)

What a relief to stumble across this book as my son turns twenty months! The authors provide detailed discussions of how to construct a parenting philosphy that "honors the impulse" behind children's behavior in a variety of situations: play, toileting, sleeping (or not), physical activity, child care, conflict and friendship. It handles less frequently handled topics as well, such as young children's sex play, racism, and homophobia. The book is a strong advocate for parents. Having a family with children, they stress, is not a project of controlling children but rather of balancing interests between all family members. Unlike many parenting books, this work lets the parent reflect on what his or her own family's boundaries should be while offering information about children's possible perspectives in specific situations and ideas for respecting these perspectives. I also appreciated the invitation to think about one's own upbring in order to create a set of practices to model for our own children. Single parents, gay parents, and parents of non-Christian faith are all actively included in the examples, which are helpfully and skillfully drawn from one of the author's parenting groups. In a welcome departure from many parenting books, fathers and men are also considered to be equally capable of and interested in raising their children. I have enjoyed incorporating the author's ideas into my daily interactions with my son and husband. I suspect that many other parents who don't fit into the "What to expect..." advice series would as well. Several friends will be getting this as a gift for the holidays!!!