Becoming the Parent You Want to Be: A Sourcebook of Strategies for the First Five Years [Paperback]

Laura Davis (Author), Janis Keyser (Contributor)

Book Description

Release date: February 3, 1997

Informative, inspiring, and enlightening, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be provides parents with the building blocks they need to discover their own parenting philosophy and develop effective parenting strategies.  Through in-depth information, practical suggestions, and many lively first-person stories, the authors address the many dilemmas and joys that the parent of young children encounter and demonstrate a range of solutions to the major issues that arise in the raising of babies, toddlers and preschoolers.  Full of warmth, clarity, humor, and respect, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be gives parents permission to be human: to question, to learn, to make mistakes, to struggle and to grow, and, most of all, to have fun with their children.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

This may be the best parenting book to come around in years. Laura Davis and Janis Keyser take a straightforward, real, and respectful approach to parenting and children. The book gives solid information on sound child development as well as specific tips that run the gamut from getting your child to sleep to dealing with fear of Halloween to toileting (toilet training) as a metaphor for learning to disciplinary issues. Based on nine principals that deal with issues of time, optimism, struggle, anger, balancing needs, and learning as you go, this book will help you discover and work with your own parenting philosophy.

From Booklist

Most new parents are eager for practical advice and support from others more knowledgeable about the needs of very young children. Davis and Keyser's guide compares favorably to the American Academy of Pediatrics' similarly substantive Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age Five (1991), as it presents a warm, upbeat approach to child rearing. Davis and Keyser assume children are eager to learn, and their parents, to participate actively in their education--a philosophy that animates the nine parenting principles, which include cultivating a spirit of optimism about your children, developing a vision for your family, understanding that parents are always growing, etc., that introduce and provide a framework for the rest of the text. Davis and Keyser weave tips, techniques, and personal stories together to address children's feelings, behaviors, bodies, and relationships fluidly, readably, and confidently. Kathryn Carpenter

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 448 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press; 1 edition (February 3, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553067508
• ISBN-13: 978-0553067507
• Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 1.1 x 9.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #26,759 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Laura Davis is the author of seven non-fiction books, including The Courage to Heal, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be and I Thought We'd Never Speak Again. Laura's groundbreaking books have sold more than 1.8 million copies around the world. Laura has also worked as a columnist, talk show host, radio reporter, radio producer, blogger, editor, and speaker. Words have always been at the core of her work and her self-expression.

She says, "Writing has been a companion of mine my whole life. I have used words to understand myself, to express myself, to provoke, to educate, to inspire, to make my mark in the world. I've been an author seven times over, a talk show host, a news reporter, a workshop leader, a speaker, a blogger, a columnist, and a writing teacher. Everything I've ever done has focused on communication, using words--both spoken and written--to open hearts and minds. For as long as I can remember, I've always been an agent of change. Although my pathway keeps changing, words are always at the center."

Currently, Laura leads weekly writing groups and memoir writing retreats in the Santa Cruz, CA region, as well as in Bali and Scotland, and she has been mentoring and supporting writers for the past 20 years.

It is truly the work of her heart: "I love teaching. I love watching my students find their natural voice and their rhythm. I love it when they find their true stories and discover the courage to put them on the page. I feel like a midwife as my students birth their stories, and I feel honored to witness their bursts of creativity and pure life energy pouring out on the page. Our writing circles are safe places where skills are honed, tears and laughter are welcome, and each writer is seen, heard and deeply known."

Laura leads weekly writing groups and memoir writing retreats in the Santa Cruz, CA region, as well as an annual summer writing retreat in Bolinas, California, a two-week long writing and yoga retreat in Bali, 10 days in a Scottish castle, and other international retreats.

Laura has created and moderates a vibrant online writing community. She sends free weekly inspirational quote and writing prompt, called the Writer's Journey Roadmap each week. Readers can post their written responses to the weekly prompts online. To learn more about Laura, her books or her workshops, visit Laura's website.

www.lauradavis.net
www.lauradavis.net/roadmap
facebook: Laura Davis & The Writer's Journey

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

62 of 63 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A well-worn and dog-eared favorite in my home December 5, 2005

By O. Peterson

Format:Paperback

I came across this book when my daughter was 3 after searching for a resource to better understand her developmental stages, and to give me some strategies to deal with things like tantrums and demanding behavior. After the birth of her sister, she was angry - and with me being so sleep-deprived, we were 'butting heads' and our relationship seemed to be going in a direction that worried me. I'm so glad I found this book. within the first 100 pages, I felt I already had gathered tools to improve our relationship. Unlike other books, this one teaches through REAL examples, and teaches you to truly see the child's perspective and that in turn gives you the understanding you need to make the right decisions. The moment I actually 'worked through' a tantrum and IT ACTUALLY WORKED I was stunned. I go back to this book so often - especially when in those weak moments I don't handle something the way I would have hoped - and through the real stories of other parents, you are reassured that you are only human and tomorrow is another chance to strive to make the best decisions you can for your child. I have recommended this book to every parent I meet.

133 of 151 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Great for toddlers and preschoolers, a bit off for babies April 5, 2000

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

As everyone so far has written, this is a wonderful, empathetic book. It includes a wealth of information, in a depth rarely found in popular parenting books. As a single mom, I appreciated that the authors do not assume that everyone has the "ideal" two-parent middle class WASP family. However, although the book's subtitle says that it is for the first five years, I find some of its advice on infant care questionable. They think it is okay to let your baby cry to learn independence, if it agrees with the parents' values. They also wrongly claim that "...some children never lose interest in nursing..." and advocate adult-led weaning. Buy this book for helpful information about your toddler and preschooler, but for babies, see the books by Martha and William Sears (The Baby Book, Parenting the Fussy Baby and High Need Child, The Discipline Book) for a more sensitive approach.

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A book that respects both parents and children November 23, 1998

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

What a relief to stumble across this book as my son turns twenty months! The authors provide detailed discussions of how to construct a parenting philosphy that "honors the impulse" behind children's behavior in a variety of situations: play, toileting, sleeping (or not), physical activity, child care, conflict and friendship. It handles less frequently handled topics as well, such as young children's sex play, racism, and homophobia. The book is a strong advocate for parents. Having a family with children, they stress, is not a project of controlling children but rather of balancing interests between all family members. Unlike many parenting books, this work lets the parent reflect on what his or her own family's boundaries should be while offering information about children's possible perspectives in specific situations and ideas for respecting these perspectives. I also appreciated the invitation to think about one's own upbring in order to create a set of practices to model for our own children. Single parents, gay parents, and parents of non-Christian faith are all actively included in the examples, which are helpfully and skillfully drawn from one of the author's parenting groups. In a welcome departure from many parenting books, fathers and men are also considered to be equally capable of and interested in raising their children. I have enjoyed incorporating the author's ideas into my daily interactions with my son and husband. I suspect that many other parents who don't fit into the "What to expect..." advice series would as well. Several friends will be getting this as a gift for the holidays!!!