Customer Reviews

Becoming Parents: How to Strengthen Your Marriage as Your Family Grows

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(2)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

"Becoming Parents" is not for the light-hearted or for those who are hoping to hear what may not be realistic. As I read this book, I often found myself putting it down just to think through the material. I needed some time to think about the content and what it meant for my marriage. I purchased this book after having my son and after completing a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy...and I learned a lot from it. I wish I had this book before I had my child. It would have strengthened my half of the marriage which, I believe, would have helped my partner. This book displays the importance of a partnership and to make the partnership a priority over everything else that is going on in life. I know, it's difficult to put anything else before this life growing inside you...but this book (together with more understanding of marriage through my graduate studies) helped me to realize - three years after having my son and three months after completing my program - that my relationship with my partner is the most powerful factor in my child's life. I hope you will feel the same.

This book is a realistic approach to helping parnters solve problems in a systemic and healthy way. It teaches effective skills to be used in the event that a problem situation should arise. Although we all have different relationships with our partners, this book is in NO way a pessimistic or unrealistic look at becoming parents. It is a helpful guide to help make your relationship stronger and more stable - especially during the most trying time...having a first child! This book is a must-have for all people with children. The skills taught are even helpful for those who do not and are not going to have children. P.Jordan, S.Stanley, & H.Markman deserve an award!

Pamela Jordan is an associate professor at the Department of Family and Child Nursing at the University of Washington in Seattle, who developed the “Becoming parents program”. Scott Stanley is codirector of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver in Colorado, who together with Howard Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver, have developed PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program, which comprise chapter 1-12 in this book) and also together authored the best selling books on “Fighting for your marriage” and “A lasting promise”. The book has four major parts and a total of 16 chapters: Handling conflict and protecting you marriage, Going deeper and dealing with core issues, Relationship enhancements and maintaining the great things with the final section on Creating a healthy lifestyle. In one of the chapters the authors give us a warning: “Do not try parenting by yourselves”, which together with “It takes a village to raise a child” are both true statements that many parents can learn from. Besides from these popular statements the book is full of examples, practical advice and ideas on how to make marriage and parenthood a “better business” for you. This book is intended for first time parents and we really believe that many parents can gain from reading, studying and discussing the contents...

My husband and I read this book (and even did the recommended exercises!) before we had our daughter and have since taken advantage of several techniques. I've now recommended it to three or four other people because it's clear and useful for ANY partnership.

This was an invaluable tool to help us understand how to improve our communication and strengthen our relationship in preparation for a new baby. The exercises at the end of each chapter are especially useful.

The bottom line to this book is to not fight when either or neither party has had any sleep--it is self destructive.

I purchased this book with the anticipation of making my great marriage to my husband even better, as we embark on impending parenthood. This book is for parents with "problem" marriages in which bickering & fighting is a recurrent, or even daily problem. The author describes what he thinks are normal "fight scenarios" between husbands & wives. I couldn't help but shudder to think that there are actually people out there who talk to their spouses so condescendingly and rudely. My husband & I argue on occasion, but we are never rude, mean, or insulting to eachother. The author insulted me by including these scenarios of what he believes to me normal & routine dialogues between husbands & wives. Maybe my marriage is "atypical", but I think what he considers normal is really abnormal! This book did not tell me how to keep my marriage strong as I become a mother, or much of anything else, save for being blessed with a wonderful marriage. If you're having problems with your marriage, don't buy this (or any!) book. Get yourself some quality, interactive counseling with a good therapist. Shame on me for buying this book & not adhering to the saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."