Customer Reviews

Becoming Real: Defeating the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

It's been a year or so since I have read the hardback version of this book, but now that's it's available via paperback, I find myself coming back to it again and again ... giving this book to numerous friends... be they seemingly on the "right path" for themselves or "not so much."

Gail Saltz employs gentle yet poignant examples of real life scenarios throughout "Real Lives" and one would have to be in severe denial not to recognize themselves within the pages. It's not the easiest thing in the world to admit that you might be dancing to a beat of your own creation, especially if that beat is no longer relevant to your life. There's a subtle genius discovery between the lines that Dr. Saltz has written... and to me it is this: Any "mid life crisis" one finds themselves enduring might simply be the "backstory" that got you through childhood knocking on the front door of your adult life. In no way is this just another "blame your parents" diatribe. The book more so suggests that you still are the author of your own reality, and that it's never too late to revisit the facts and "rewrite" your own story!

So go ahead and look through the peep hole... you might enjoy the "new" you that emerges!

I have found this book to be invaluable. I started using the techniques described and have found my life becoming richer in experiences. When we attract the same situations to us over and over again, it means that change is seeking us out and keeps giving the message of change over and over until we "get it". If you want to "get it", get this book.

Men, read this book. Women, read this book. It doesn't matter what sex you are; insert the words "human being" anywhere when giving this book a shot, and you won't be discouraged; you'll become relieved, angry, enightened, and real.

THEN you can start using this amazing work.

I don't own a television, don't know Gail Saltz or MSNBC from Adam, but realize that people can't relate to techno-pseudo babble in Western Culture. People need things simple. "Becoming Real" does that by addressing people's denial of what's screwin' em up in ways I never thought possible.

As a self defeater/dependent male, I tend to help people to hide my own crap, but I take solace in knowing that if one person reads my first book "review" and gives this book a chance, they might change for the better.

I already have.

This book provides some very interesting insight into the repetitive behavioral patterns people employ to mask their beliefs about themselves and the world. Multiple approaches to counselling/psychology are pulled together providing a wholistic approach to self-help. The examples given are easy to relate to and it provided hope for the future. As a Psychologist I am recommending this book to some of my clients and the feedback from them is very positive.

In my view Becoming Real is a serious book and if you read and follow the instructions you will save yourself a lot of money at the mental health clinic. If you have the guts to take the trip the tour guide is ready to take you there. The place you are going to isn't Disneyland or a carnival cruise, it is not a feel good kind of book, it is thorough and deep. This is an adventure and a challenging hike. The destination is worth the price and the time involved. Dr. Saltz holds your hand for awhile, shows you the ropes, then cuts you loose on your journey. The trail guide is comprehensive and easy to understand. Nevertheless if you are ready to go, you can not take it lightly, the destination is to reach someone very close to you...yourself. This getaway is, to quote the Beatles, "get back to where you once belonged". If you are in Spiritual direction and hoping to be of service to others this book will help you to cleanse your soul and heart to prepare you for your work. The book has a lot of examples with women but a man can benefit from the insights and the process that is laid out.

....and we are all on different paths to the same place.

This amazing book cuts to the root of problems about which many trees have died in the process of 'self-help'. I have been addressing my issues for quite a while, seeking book after book, dealing with layer after layer with a professional. I was stunned when Dr. Saltz in short order went to the heart of the matter, and renewed hope in me that had been floundering.

I can see how someone who is 'real' to begin with - the lucky reviewer who obviously never told himself defeating stories because he had a healthy upbringing - would get little out of this book. I am amazed at how unable the reviewer is to see any viewpoint but his own....but such are some. I must assume the other single star rater has no awareness either of their need, or they simply weren't ready to benefit from what this book has to offer.

But to those of us who must struggle with the journey to become 'Real', this book is at the very least a source of hope about something no one really sees addressed; being our authentic self. As for me, it has strengthened my flagging energy to continue.

This book was written for women. The majority of material is specific to women, none of it is specific to men and there's not much left that is applicable to both. The book is extremely and blatantly lacking in gender balance. This would be acceptable if the Subtitle indicated it's "Real" focus.

The author uses her clients or patients as examples to make her various points. Eighty-five percent of these examples are women. Page after page of issues about visible panty line, cellulite, body image (The author is "bombarded with emails about thighs",) eating, and not eating are tedious for half the population of the country.

Absence of notice on the cover of the female-centric perspective can only be an amateurish sham used to sell more books.

Becoming Real is a good dose of what I consider, looking outside of the box. It gives you a true perspective of yourself and others so that an individual can begin to understand and relate to others at a higher level. It also provides answers to many questions one might have regarding the "work" and "home" you. I highly recommend this book to those that want to understand others as well as yourself.

This book is such a waste of time and money. Having seen Dr. Saltz on Oprah, I was very anxious to read her book. That was the first mistake. The second and third were purchasing and reading it. I know who I am and this book did absolutly nothing to reveal the authentic self. More and more of the same type of rhetoric and buzz words you hear from so many psychologist. Becoming Real needs to get real.

An excellent primer that may help you begin to deconstruct the stories that imprison you.

Jennifer Louden
http://www.comfortqueen.com