Customer Reviews

On Becoming Toddlerwise

5 star:		(30)
4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(10)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(23)

 

 

As a physician and a mother, I have found the Babywise/Toddlerwise/Childwise series to be extremely helpful for raising and training my children! As an aside, I raised my daughter using the principles in Babywise. I nursed her for 8 months, and never experienced difficulty with optimal weight gain. My daughter slept through the night at 9 weeks, and was a happy baby. I am often complemented by friends and work colleagues about how well-behaved my children are, and I owe much of that to the Ezzo texts for teaching me some practical things about child-rearing.

For those of you with children between 2 and 3, you may find further useful information in the next edition, Childwise (ages 3-7). There was not as much information in the Toddlerwise edition about controlling/preventing certain behaviors (e.g., tantrums), but I found a wealth of information in the Childwise edition.

I will say that I felt the potty training section in Toddlerwise was less helpful to me. I did purchase their recommended text, Toilet Training in Less Than a Day (also recommended by Dr. Phil), and found it to be inspiring, but somewhat disappointing.

For the contemplative parent, who is considering this purchase:
Yes, there is a foundation based on Biblical principle, with practical applications. If you find offense in Bible-based theories, then don't bother with the Ezzo series, because you lack the foundation on which to build these principles. If you are the type of parent that seeks to be "an equal partner" with your child, don't bother. The principles presented in the Ezzo texts will continually challenge your parenting philosophy. For those who seek a method of *training*, with practical applications, and are up to the challenge of active parenting, then this may be just what you are looking for. It sure has been for my family, and I continue to refer to many of the Ezzo guidelines as I raise my children. Our children are the envy of our friends and family for their good behavior. Sure, they have their bad days just like any other person, but you'll never see them on Nanny 911...

I have to admit that I very nearly didn't buy this book. I found Babywise to be overly harsh, or at least it seemed to be at the time. I bought Toddlerwise, however, and was really impressed. First of all, let me say that my son is exactly two years old. With that in mind, he is at the middle to older end of the Toddlerwise spectrum. The thing is, as a parent, I was doing a lot of what Toddlerwise recommends before I bought the book. The book just filled in some BIG gaps for me. The first time I tried roomtime my son "read" to himself in his room for 20 minutes while I actually cleaned one of our bathrooms without once having to "yell" at him to stay away from the cleaning supplies. Also looking him in the eye when correcting him and expecting a response really helps us both. He is learning and I feel like I am actually getting through. I couldn't be more pleased!

We use the common sense methods in the author's book Baby Wise and Child Wise, and we are thrilled. Our children, now 3 and 7, are happy and healthy. They both slept through the night at very early ages, and have no problems putting themselves to sleep. Their regular schedules and knowledge of behavioral boundries makes them confident and secure. My 7 year old excels at school, loves piano and French and is well liked by classmates, teachers and other parents.

Those who denounce these books seem to have more of a political opposition to the author than a genuine concern for raising children, and the extremist rhetoric makes that obvious. Take it from a parent who has actually read and used these principles--they work!

Most of the 1-star reviewers feels that the methods of this book is abusive and restricting - I think that's complete rubbish.

Having a routine and structure with your kids does not mean you are loving them less, abusing their creativity/freedom, and abusing them in the name of discipline. In fact, the book advocates different types of playtime: roomtime being an independent playtime in a room, free time being a time where the child gets to choose what he wants to do, structured playtime being a time when a parents chooses the activity, and playtimes with family members. Which one of these sound abusive or restrictive? When the child grows old enough to go to school, what do parents think happen? The teachers choose the activities and there will be a disciplinary guideline that your children will follow, so how is this book anything different?

Also, when it comes to handling curious toddlers who get into everything, the book suggests substitution over restriction and distraction. Substitution as defined in the book is to offer an equally desirable experience similar to the original one that caught the toddler's attention, but the location and time will be decided by mom. An example in the book, a child gets into the dog bowl and splashes the water. The alternate substitution for this behavior would be to give the toddler a clean bowl of water on the patio and let the child have at it. Again, what about this is abusive or restrictive?

I also see one reviewer comment on the sample schedule in the book (she gives a paraphrased version in her review). The problem with this reader is that she is not keeping in mind that this is an example routine that ONE mom used for her kids. That doesn't meant the book is saying every single family should follow this schedule where the kids play in half-hour increments using different play techniques. It's taking the book quite too literally.

Anyone who watches Super Nanny or Nanny 911 will know that basically all the families that have problems with their children lack a stable and predictable routine for their kids, and proper discipline techniques. Which led to the parents being burnt out to the point they no long enjoy being parents.

I think people who rated the book poorly have problems with responsible parenting. The Webster Dictionary definition of "nurture" is this: 1. to feed and protect, 2. to support and encourage, 3. to bring up, train, educate. To be nurturing means to parent in a way that meets the above definition. It is the responsibility of parents to love AND educate AND train their kids into responsible and morally upright people. If we raise our children in a way that allows them to have no respect for us, not obeying our guidelines/boundaries, and letting them do whatever the heck they want, then who's to say that they will not do the same to other adult for the rest of their lives.

It seems to me, that most people with strong negative opinions about Ezzo's books have never given them a real try. The only people I know who don't like these concepts, haven't even ever used them. That's pretty ignorant. These books especially Toddlerwise are wonderful. No abusive, restrictive, or any of that garbage people say. If you actually read the entire books, you will see that the goal is quite the opposite. The goal is to be loving, kind, nurting while teaching your children skills that will set them up for success. It is not to have super control over them. Young children need firm boundaries for their safety as well as healthy development. Utimately they will have greater freedom. In other words, read the books before you trash them. They have helped a lot of helpless parents. Thanks!

With our first child, we used Babywise. It was a huge success. He was sleeping through the night, gaining more than sufficient weight, and now as a toddler understands his boundaries in the household. The first years of his life were not wasted on his parents always submitting to his schedule.

Due to our great success, we were influenced by a friend's disgust with us using an "insensitive and uncaring method". So with our second, we used an alternative method she suggested. My wife nursed all night long for his first 6 months. He learned fast that our world was revolving around him. Thinking we had done something wrong after our long nights, we talked with the friend that suggested this alternative. Turns out she always had the same problems with her children. At 9 months and 6 months respectively, she tried cutting out the nightly feedings for her children cold turkey. She considered this 1-2 weeks of 1 hour crying to be expected and normal. I've now realized that it is much more caring of a parent to establish this routine from the beginning. We have now started our toddler on the wonderful Toddlerwise, and our 7 month old infant that was raised with the alternative method - is now a much happier baby having made the switch 2 weeks ago. Though these ideas in this book have been an incredible success, one must always use man's ideas in moderation. You are the parent, not the book.

I really got a lot out of Babywise - my daughter was sleeping through the nite at 5 weeks. And now that she's almost 14 months, I thought it natural to buy Toddlerwise. Even after reading the negative reviews, I still wanted to read the book to make my own judgment. But the only new information I learned was in one chapter that's not even written by Ezzo. And I got nothing out of that chapter - maybe some parents would be able to tell their toddler to sit on a blanket and play with a specific toy ("Provide a few toys but instruct your toddler to stay on the blanket until Mommy says its time to get off." p.45), but my daughter wouldn't be able to sit still for a minute! And I feel it's criminal to restrict any child to a blanket for a set time with a timer - let alone a toddler! I'm all for structure and routine, and we have a fairly structured day at home. But the sample daily routine that is offered seems so micro-managed, I'm not sure how any parent would have time to do anything else but manage their child's playtime! Here's the example from p.61 (paraphrased):

"7am - Get children up & dressed, breakfast
8am - Free Play Time
9:30am - Structured Play Time
10am - Blanket Time
10:30am - Structured Time with Mom
11:30am - Structured Time with Siblings
12pm - Lunch, clean up, read books until nap
1pm - Nap
3pm - Gym Class
4pm - Structured Play Time with Siblings
4:30pm - Blanket Time
5pm - Video Time
5:30pm - Dinner, clean up, etc (Mom&Dad - Couch Time)
6:30pm - Family Time with Dad & Mom
7pm - Time with Dad
7:30pm - Bedtime"

This example is a simplified version - it's more complicated because the 2 siblings are sometimes doing different things. I chose to paraphrase just one of the siblings' schedules here. I would highly suggest not buying this book - it's a waste of money. Most of the negative comments are warranted - I couldn't imagine ever treating my daughter the way that Ezzo suggests in this book. Even after using the Babywise method, I still feel that using the ideologies in this book border on neglect! Please don't do such a dis-service to your children!

I love the Babywise series, and this book did not let me down. It really starts to go beyond the "how-to" and really delves into the "why". Why do we do the things we do? It has a list of some fantastic questions for you or you and your mate to answer, in regards to giving you purpose to your parenting and parenting style. Most people who don't like these books really hate them and see them as Nazi instructional guides--it is an extreme group. I have even heard the methods in these books called "child abuse." P-shaw!!! This is not true. The main theme of all these books is consistancy, and choosing for the higher good of our children regardless of what our children may want at the moment. And it really enpowers the grown-up to actually be a.... GROWN-UP! It takes some guts to stand up to a toddler and say, "No. It is not appropriate for you to act that way or treat people that way." And it is very vogue these days to let our little angles do whatever they please and turn into little terrors. Our job as parents is to be the PARENTS--to guide and love and correct and choose for the highest good of our kids. This book really gives you the tools to be a loving, kind, compassionate, but consistent parent who means what they say. Not for the faint of heart!

I believe that only the parents who are afraid to BE parents are writing negative reviews of the Babywise series. Most parents in this country are worrying about being a best friend to their children, so they give in to every little whim they have (ever get annoyed by those screaming kids that run around like maniacs in a restaurant)!?! It's a parent's job to PARENT the child so that they can grow to understand and survive in the real world. Holding their hands EVERY SINGLE STEP OF THE WAY is only impairing them...as a teacher, my husband sees it every day. Ezzo is not suggesting that you abuse your child!!! He is trying to show you how to help your child become independent, happy, and well rounded! My daughter is NOT a robot. She has feelings and, believe me, she expresses them quite often--but she doesn't act like a little monster when she doesn't get her way, either, BECAUSE she knows the boundaries. That's what he is trying to get across here. Don't be afraid of the negative reviews of this series; believe the positive ones. Those of us who are raising our children this way are not brainwashed. We have just seen the incredible results.

As the mother of triplets I have found these books to be invaluable. They provide great parenting guidlines and suggestions. As with everything in parenting you must use your common sense and modify their suggestions to your situation. Very helpful for getting your child on a great schedule that makes both of you happy.
I cant tell you how many people have told me what great well behaved, happy, and compliant children I have. We have all slept through the night since 13 weeks!!!