Becoming a Wise Parent for Your Grown Child: Giving Love and Support Without Meddling [Paperback]

Betty Frain Ph.D (Author), Eileen M. Clegg (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1997

The problems of being a parent can continue long after the children have grown up and left home. This book helps parents to deal with the challenges that grown children present. It gives them some distance from the issues they're facing, so that they can put their children's problems in perspective, re-examine their relationships, and work on clear communication. The book concludes with chapters on setting clear boundaries, negotiating uninvited intervention, and general strategies and "game plans" for problem solving.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Betty Frain has been in practice as a marriage and family therapist for more than 30 years with special expertise in family dynamics and recovery from trauma. She holds a Ph.D. in Human Development from the Fielding Institute. She currently is the clinical director of CARE Children's Counseling Center, California Parenting Institute in Santa Rosa, California. Betty has devoted her career and life to understanding people and helping them thrive. She and Eileen are collaborating on a new book Extremophile People about human resilience. Her website is www.drbettyfrain.com. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Product Details

• Paperback: 180 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1st edition (October 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572240814
• ISBN-13: 978-1572240810
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.8 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,946,872 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars a valuable guide for parents AND "adult children", November 4, 1999

By 

Doris Klein (Denver, Colorado) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Becoming a Wise Parent for Your Grown Child: Giving Love and Support Without Meddling (Paperback)

I purchased this book because I am the parent of a young adult and interested in the guidance this title promised. It was all I had hoped for...and more! This book is well written, practical, and insightful. Family vignettes and personal exercises throughout the book enhance its step by step approach by fostering practical application of the suggestions. An unanticipated bonus is that it served me equally well as an "adult child" , offering perspectives and actions that afforded me the opportunity to enrich my relationship with my own parents. I have given and recommended this book to many family members and friends. Frain and Clegg have made a wonderful contribution!

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars HELPFUL ADVICE!!, February 12, 2001

By 

Gloria B. (California) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Becoming a Wise Parent for Your Grown Child: Giving Love and Support Without Meddling (Paperback)

This excellent book is not only easy to read AND to understand, but also it made me feel as if the author had been a fly on my wall for years. Dr. Frain has obviously seen it all as is evidenced by her insight into problems that I thought were so specific to my situation.

The techniques outlined in this book were literally my roadmap back to my daughter who had been estranged from me for too many painful years, years without seeing my daughter or my wonderful grandchildren. By completing the written exercises in the book, I realized how much that times have changed. I was so much more able to understand how "it got to this". I got a bigger picture of my own family history, and also a better idea of how cultural changes put so much pressure on my daughters.

I learned a lot about my own fears, too, through this book and all its valuable exercises. In fact, that is what gave me the understanding and the strength to honor my daughter's needs without feeling like I was selling myself out. I was fearful mainly because I just did not understand the changes - not because I was wrong or that my daughter was wrong. That was a big hump to get over for me, but by doing so, I NOW HAVE MY DAUGHTER AND GRANDCHILDREN BACK!!

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Superb, psychologically sound guide to a common problem, September 25, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Becoming a Wise Parent for Your Grown Child: Giving Love and Support Without Meddling (Paperback)

The authors have done their homework. This is an easy to read yet psychologically sophisticated treatise on a common problem without the jargon and pathologizing. As a clinical psychologist, I can highly recomment this book to all. Baby boomers caught in the dual role of being both a parent to and a child of an adult should find this guide especially helpful.