To Bed or Not To Bed: What Men Want, What Women Want, How Great Sex Happens [Paperback]

Vera Bodansky (Author), Steve Bodansky (Author)

Book Description

Series: Positively Sexual | Publication Date: February 1, 2006

The differences between the sexes create both fun and tension. Most men want sex, either with a new or current partner. Women want sex, too, but are trained to put up obstacles so as not to seem "easy." To Bed or Not to Bed presents specific information on how to use these differences to create more pleasure and intimacy in bed and elsewhere. The authors provide proven sexual and sensual methods used successfully with their clients, including over 20 exercises, some to be done alone and others with a partner. The book takes readers on a journey that leads not just to the bedroom, but ultimately to a better relationship by showing how to take advantage of special techniques that bring a couple years of pleasure and happiness together.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

"A foundational premise of this book" according to husband and wife authors Steve and Vera Bodansky (Extended Massive Orgasm and The Illustrated Guide to the Extended Massive Orgasm) is "our belief that women are not equal to men." It's a gimmicky way of saying men and women approach sex differently; much of the book relies on such hooks, popular in the self-help oeuvre. To wit, each chapter title has something to do with a bed-"Under the Covers" and "Pillow Talk Plus" for example. And yet, the patient reader will be rewarded with some insightful observations about the cultural conditioning, desires and drives of the opposite sex. Topics include becoming a better seducer, giving without keeping score, deliberate versus default pleasure and the importance of integrity in bed. Based on information and ideas from a number of sources, but primarily through the authors' personal experiences and the experiences of people they know, the book is most successful when it veers away from the obvious ("Make eye contact when you are in conversation with a woman") and offers practical advice and tools for establishing-and reinvigorating- intimate contact. These exercises (19 total) combined with the authors' breezy, conversational approach (they use slang where appropriate) make this guide a notable addition to the genre.
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About the Author

Steve Bodansky, Ph.D. and Vera Bodansky, Ph.D., have been students and teachers of sensuality and relationships for a combined total of fifty years. They conduct workshops and demonstrations and have trained hundreds of men and women in the practice of extended massive orgasm. They have been married for nearly twenty years.

Steve: I am a behavioral scientist whose major interest is love, and how to give and receive pleasure. I grew up in New York City. I received a B.S. in Biology from S.U.N.Y. at Buffalo and my M.S. in Molecular Biology from S.U.N.Y. at Albany. I moved to California in 1979, and received an M.S. in Communications and a Ph.D. in Sensuality from More University. Vera and I met in 1979 and married in 1983. Our love keeps getting better both physically and spiritually. Vera has inspired me to write many poems.

Vera: I have lived many lives. To start, I was born in Europe and spent a year in a Nazi detention camp. I grew up in Salzburg and was tutored in Russian, German and English. In 1952 I moved to New York City and married an actor. In 1960 I moved to San Francisco and remarried an investment banker. We had two sets of twins, one year apart! I received my M.S. in Communications and my Ph.D. in Sensuality from More University, which involved demonstrating a three-hour orgasm for my professors. My relationship with Steve is the best of my life; it far surpasses my wildest dreams.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Hunter House (February 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 089793461X
• ISBN-13: 978-0897934619
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #663,390 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I love women, especially my wife and co-author Vera who has been my inspiration for the past 25 years. We have been facilitating others in having outstanding relationships by example as well as by giving private instruction and teaching classes in sex as our book titles describe. Our books are actually a by product of Vera's desire with what we have learned through our studies and mostly through our years of teaching together. We still give private instruction or DEMO classes either in Northern California where we live or in NYC at Mamagenas School for Womanly Arts about twice a year. We have a DVD of one hour of extreme pleasure available directly from us or through our website which is www.extendedmassiveorgasm.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It's about love, April 29, 2006

By 

Ms. Lee (denver, CO) - See all my reviews

This review is from: To Bed or Not To Bed: What Men Want, What Women Want, How Great Sex Happens (Paperback)

This book is easy to read yet has great life-impacting information. i just loved it and has made my life musch more fun and easier to relate with my boyfriend. Our sex is way better and we have given up so many old hang-ups that were preventing us from realizing how much in love we are. the book is worth 10 stars and i recommend it to all my girlfriends.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great Read, and not just about Sex, November 20, 2006

By 

Donna D "DD" (New Jersey) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: To Bed or Not To Bed: What Men Want, What Women Want, How Great Sex Happens (Paperback)

I found this a very easy to read book packed with wisdom about relationships and sex. There's a lot of insight into what Vera and Steve share ... if you take the time to absorb it. I've taken classes about the male/female dynamic, and have seen some of this material before, but this time, I understood some of the points in a new way. I suggest it for anyone in a relationship as they share some tips we all can benefit from!

I highly recommend it, and working with them. Their experience has helped me expand the pleasure in my life.

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Info I yearned for!!, March 15, 2006

By 

Single Guy (Columbus, Ohio) - See all my reviews

This review is from: To Bed or Not To Bed: What Men Want, What Women Want, How Great Sex Happens (Paperback)

Wow, what a great book. It is so well written. It gave me info that I didn't know about women and confirmed ideas I thought about. The way they state clearly how women and men relate takes all the pressure off. It has given me a freedom I never gave myself permission to have. If you are interested in having great life and relationships- whether you are a man or woman - I highly recommend this book.