Bedtime Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single-Fatherhood (Hardcover)

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Screenwriter, author and Los Angeles resident Ellis (Right Here, Right Now) relates his story of heartbreak and child-rearing with candor, comedy and self-awareness, making this emotionally turbulent ride instantly and tirelessly engaging. The conversational chronicle tells how young African-American novelist Ellis met and lost his wife (to a New Age shaman), leaving him to deal, often on his own, with a three-year-old daughter and an eight-month-old son. Fast-paced and fun, Ellis's story indulges readers with hilarious details from all aspects of the single-dad life, from nannies to schools to his crazy ex, from his writing career to his sex life, taking playful detours along the way for daydreams and song lyrics ("It's so hard trying to remember what it was like those first nights... alone singing my kids the theme song to The Mary Tyler Moore Show"). Ellis also incorporates stories from his "often-depressed, cartoonishly nerdly" childhood years, revealing the ins and outs of his parents' own "shitty marriage." A first-rate story-teller with an effortless sense of humor and pathos ("I have always been a big fan of self-pity"), Ellis and his memoir deserve a place among pop culture's most beloved Mr. Moms.
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Review

"A moving, funny, down-to-earth, sexy and delightful account of a uniquely caring, passionate and eloquent father's journey into and through single fatherhood -- a great gift for anyone who values the true dramas of committed parenting." - Naomi Wolf

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Modern Times; 1st edition (February 5, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1594865299
• ISBN-13: 978-1594865299
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,026,426 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Beautiful Memoir by a Single Dad With a Huge Heart, May 7, 2008

By	Rachel Kramer Bussel "Cupcakes Take the Cake ... (New York City) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)

Trey Ellis has a big heart. A really, really big heart, and on most every page of this excellent, thoughtful, tender memoir, he shares how it's been gutted, delighted, and filled with love largely for his two children, Ava and Chet. He throws himself into each of his love affairs as if it will be his last, and never apologizes for his often grandiose visions. It's hard to not see those romantic visions as feminine on some level, perhaps because we're so used to women being the ones thinking of marriage on first sight. Ellis's descriptions of his own leaps into head over heels love and lust are told in a way that both gently mocks him as well as celebrates his sense of romantic adventure. He may know that dashing off to Europe to woo a woman is unrealistic, but that never stops him from doing it.

To Ellis's credit, he never once bashes his ex-wife, even though his sometime exasperation with her mania comes through. It's clear that he still feels connected with her, in a healthy way, as the mother of his children, and their ongoing negotiations about schedules and rules form the backbone of his other relationships. The children come first and it's clear that perhaps even more than Ellis was born to be a writer, he was born to be a parent. The rhythms and responsibilities of fatherhood seem to come like second nature to him, and his keen observation of his kids' needs doesn't need to be overstated (maybe we can be spared any more memoirs that talk endlessly about sippy cups and bottles?).

Ellis doesn't present his tale in an entirely straightforward manner, nor does he always make it easy for readers. There are humorous and sensuous parts to his story, but they are woven throughout with the ghosts of his parents, his mother who committed suicide at 36 and his father who died of AIDS-related illnesses. When his heart gets broken, Ellis takes the reader right along with him into the depths of his pain, yet his children are always there to bring him back from the brink.

This is a refreshing read for those accustomed to sometimes repetitive parenting memoirs. Ellis doesn't lament his status as a single dad, but rather seems to value the time he spends with his children while still acknowledging the hardships and the high points (getting doted on by all the moms, single and not, at his kids' school). The greatest tension here is between his commitment to his children and his ongoing quest for romantic fulfillment. "How can a woman compete for the oceanic love I feel for my two soft miniatures? No two other being son the planet can pull my cheeks into a smile just at the thought of seeing them. Why waste time on romance when I could be learning to be a better parent?" he writes. Yet it's also clear that he is at his best, as a person and a parent, when he is rapturously in love. His various girlfriends' interactions with his kids offer examples of how such a family could be created.

Ellis's storytelling here, which includes (separate) encounters with supermodel Amber Valletta and poet Ted Joans, is one that invites readers into his home, his heart, and his family. It doesn't shy away from the devastations he's faced, but it also leaves room for hope for the future, for the man known as "Mommy-Daddy" to his son.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I Can Relate, February 16, 2008

By	M. Peters "Funky Folklorist" (New Bedford, MA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Being a single dad, this book was recommended to me by a friend. Oddly enough, she didn't even know that I've been a Trey Ellis fan since his first novel. Fast-paced, often funny, and with remarkable candor and vulnerability, Ellis does not disappoint at all with this wonderful journey through a growing, yet truly under sung experience, the single, Black father with the crazy e-wife. A great read!!!!

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read, July 17, 2008

By	bigeyes (East Bay, CA) - See all my reviews

I came upon Trey Ellis's book by osmosis, but from the moment I opened the book I could not put it down. This book is beautifully written, it has heart, soul, wit and lessons of life that you will either learn from or will relate to. I have great admiration for Trey's ability to be so honest and candid.
This book is a must read. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry and sometimes it will make you laugh until you cry.