Been There, Haven't Done That: A Virgin's Memoir [Paperback]

Tara McCarthy (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 1998

Articulate, attractive and sexually aware, Tara McCarthy is a virgin who looks at sex as something that means something. She describes her real life escapades with a cavalcade of suitors, and sheds new light on the virgin stereotype in the late '90s.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

McCarthy, a 26-year-old music journalist with Ireland's Hot Press, attempts to articulate reasons for keeping her virtue intact?e.g., disease (though no mention is made that one can contract some STDs without intercourse), religion, morality?that are either incorporated into a vague and unconvincing rationalization or ultimately dismissed. McCarthy recounts an uneventful personal history, recapitulating innumerable dates, relationships, and one-night stands, some with graphic scenarios of what many folks consider sex acts, with the exception of intercourse. McCarthy's trysts are not very interesting, however one defines the deed. A good editor might have polished the undistinguished writing and cut pointless repeated allusions to the author's attendance at Harvard and her excessive profanity. Presumably her book was published because virginity in the 1990s is a "sexy" (i.e., marketable) topic. A young woman might be encouraged by McCarthy's self-confidence and sense of control, but the message is too mixed to inform. A smug and flippant tone does not help her case. Not recommended.?Janice E. Braun, Mills Coll., Oakland
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

Imagine going back to college as an adult and reliving those nightlong conversations about relationships, guys, and ``doing it.'' Sounds pretty awful, doesn't it? Now imagine doing the same thing, only this time you're subjected to a monologue by the most insufferably smug and egotistical girl in your class. And worse still, this self-appointed expert in puerile love is a virgin--and proud of the fact--at the ripe old age of 25. What you have then is Tara McCarthy's memoir of life in the slow lane. McCarthy, a columnist for a Rolling Stonelike Irish magazine, hastens to assure her readers that, although she has never actually consummated a physical relationship, she is no prude (heaven forbid!). She likes men and kissing, and of course she's had plenty of opportunities to have sex (she'll tell you about them all with no prodding), because she's very attractive. And did she mention that she graduated Harvard with a high GPA? Although it may seem like a strange criticism, the only thing that marks McCarthy as a virgin is the fact that she hasn't experienced sexual intercourse. Her decision not to have sex stems from a pretty ordinary Catholic upbringing, and while she often questions her choices, she never tackles the issues with any profundity, such as her lack of moral qualms about engaging in heavy petting, or the deeper social and religious implications of premarital intercourse. Instead, she seems more than satisfied with self-indulgent prating and cataloguing her loves, teasing almost-dones, and other standards of young adult fare. -- Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (July 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446673811
• ISBN-13: 978-0446673815
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.5 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,260,538 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars This book goes on and on, June 18, 2002

By 

"trptcase" (Denton, TX) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Been There, Haven't Done That: A Virgin's Memoir (Paperback)

Tara McCarthy's memoir was refreshing to find on the shelves and even entertaining to read...in the beginning. The first couple of chapters are interesting and somewhat funny. However, as the book continued, I quickly grew tired of hearing about exploit after exploit. If you are looking to use McCarthy as a role model for your children, I would should suggest otherwise. McCarthy has documented a fairly promiscious life, despite not actually having intercourse along the way. I think it is fantastic that she has decided to wait until she is love, but it is exhausting reading about the thirteen or so times she thought she might have been.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Great idea, weak development., June 28, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Been There, Haven't Done That: A Virgin's Memoir (Paperback)

Although I felt I had much in common with the author, I could not identify with her. This book is like a long rambling letter from someone you went to school with but didn't really care about. I think she displays great courage in bringing up the issue of virginity in our sex-saturated society. She also brings up the virgin/whore sexual dichotomy felt by many women. She just doesn't address these issues with any kind of depth. It seems that she doesn't address the relationships in her life with any kind of depth either. She's indignant at men who want to have sex with her without examining her own actions and motivations which led her to be physical with them in the first place. Overall this brings up some excellent issues and ideas that should be expored, unfortunately she addresses them in a shallow and at times immature way. Perhaps if she rewrites this book when she is older and has more perspective it will be worth reading... this book however just isn't.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars I have read more profound and witty graffiti, April 3, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Been There, Haven't Done That: A Virgin's Memoir (Paperback)

Who knew that a book on something so potentially thought-provoking, even inspiring, could be shallow? It reminds me somewhat of the question put to Oscar Wilde in his indecency trials: "Sir, in your opinion, is this book immoral?" "Oh, it's much worse than that, sir. It's badly written." Truly awful.