Review
Organic farmers are nothing if not unconventional. Expecting a treatise on how to grow ten thousand earthworms in the back of a VW bus, or a moving personal account of one woman's love affair with beneficial insects, I told Martha I'd be happy to read whatever she came up with.
"Well, OK. It's a book of organic farming songs set to Beatles tunes. Do you like the Beatles?"
I howled with laughter. "Are you kidding me? An organic farming songbook? Set to Beatles tunes? This is too perfect!"
"Oh, it's hilarious," Martha answered. "Sometimes, we sing them together here at the office."
By the end of the day, I had a copy of The Beetless' Gardening Book: An Organic Gardening Songbook / Guidebook in my hands, and an hour later I was humming "You're Gonna Lose That Soil" to myself ("If you don't add organic matter, you will deplete it soon - yes, yes you will deplete it soon ") and considering how I could apply the lessons of "Paperback Mulcher" to my own life.
The Beetless, according to the books's introduction, made singular contributions to the "agri-/horti-/literary/pop culture scene" of the late twentieth century. The band's members, Jam Lemon, Pear Machete, Rutabaga Variety, and Joychoi Heirloom, formed to express in song the triumphs and challenges of organic vegetable gardening in the Pacific Northwest. Sadly, only fifty-seven of their songs were written down, and the rest are lost to today's fans. However, the book's author, Chris Roth (apprentice class of 1986), managed to gather together some information about the "Lost Songs of the Beetless," which he includes in sidebars throughout the book. Friends of the Farm & Garden will be saddened to learn that the lyrics to "Being for the Benefit of Alan Chadwick," written by Jam after he found an apprenticeship brochure in the trash, have been lost forever. Other songs were left on the scrap heap after lyrical or musical difficulties. Another would-be Farm & Garden favorite, "CSA Day" (set to the tune of "Sexy Sadie"), was scrapped due to the clumsy cadence of the lyrics, despite its insightful portrayal of a typical harvest/pickup day.
The good news is that many of the Beetless' catchy, environmentally friendly tunes survived the ravages of time and life on the road. Their youthful enthusiasm for pollinators is evident in "Bug Me Do" -
"Bug, bug me do
You know I love you
You'll pollinate too
So please bug me do"
Fans of rich, loamy soil will be pleased to learn that the perennial classic, "A Hard Clay Soil," made it to this collection -
"I've got a hard, clay soil
And I've been working like a dog
To add humus so that when it rains
I've got a garden, not a bog "
The Beetless weren't afraid to tackle more serious, introspective topics, such as the destruction that cats can cause when they walk "Across the Seeds Beds First" (to the tune of "Across the Universe") -
"Cats approach the garden beds I worked so hard in yesterday
I curse because I know they'll walk
Across the seed beds first "
"The Long, Eroded Path" laments the ravages of wind and rain to the tune of "The Long and Winding Road" -
"The long, eroded path
That leads from your door
May never disappear
I've seen erosion there before"
Other Beetless classics that you'll find yourself humming in the garden include "Here Come the Slugs," "I Saw Herbs Standing There," and "Please Weed Me." Most importantly, however, Beetless fans will appreciate the commentary on almost every song that is found in sidebars throughout the book. In the sidebar to "I've Got a Seedling," Roth notes: "Personal gardening poems are a Beetless trademark. Here the plant's dilemna becomes the gardener's dilemna, the plant's desire inseparable from the gardener's desire to satisfy it." Regarding "She Said Raised Bed," Roth comments, "The pairing of this lyric with the tune of the Beatles' 'She Said She Said' makes for an intriguing combination, highlighting the ambiguity and confusion which can occur whenever we seek truth or intimacy"
I spoke with author Chris Roth about the origins of the book. "I had been thinking about writing a book on organic gardening," he told me, "but I couldn't come up with an original approach. Then one night, after a long, sleepless ride on an Amtrak train, the idea just came to me." He jotted down most of the song titles in a couple of hours, then spent a few weeks fleshing out the lyrics. For about a year, he was part of a group that played Beetless songs whenever music- loving, organic farmers gathered, including the local county fair. Unfortunately, plans to record a Beetless CD were scrapped when Chris learned that Sony, the owner of the Beatles' songs, forbade the recording or performing of "altered" Beatles songs for profit.
"That's so corporate," I said sympathetically. "If John were still alive, he'd let you do it."
"I think so too," said Chris.
You must have this book. You'll probably need a few copies for friends so that you can all sing along as you're out working in the garden together or sitting around the fire on a winter evening. -- News & Notes of the UCSC Farm & Garden [1156 High St., Santa Cruz, CA 95064], Issue 75, Summer 1997, pp. 4-5, Book Review by Amy Stewart.
Not singing along as you scan the tunes in this songbook/guidebook is the only challenge that you will be taking on in reading The Beetless' Gardening Book. The lyrics in every song are amusing, educational and dripping with compost, while the music is compliments of John, Paul, George and Ringo.
Various gardening tasks are explained to the tunes of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds ("Loosely Firm the Edges of Seedflats"), Maxwell's Silver Hammer ("Maxwell's Plastic Bucket") or you can dance in your garden singing out "Mulch!" to the music of Help! If you know any Beatles songs, you can probably find an organic cover of it in this guidebook.
I found myself singing "I Want to Dig by Hand" (I Want to Hold Your Hand) as I did the dishes and vacuumed. I let a gardener friend of mine look through this songbook and he asked to show it to some other gardeners he worked with; he said that throughout his entire workday someone always had the book and was singing.
Fun is the only word I can imagine to describe The Beetless' Gardening Book, for from the moment I picked it up I had to chuckle and I had to sing. But this book isn't simply entertaining - it includes 99 pages of gardening information and tips which will help the beginning gardener get started right and assist the frequent gardener in maintenance. Everyone could pick up a few new tricks. -- Healing Currents Journal [2220 Sandy Drive, Eugene, OR 97401], June 1997, p. 32, Book Review by Michelle Urso.
Sometimes gardeners - and you have to admit, organic gardeners in particular - take themselves too seriously. If you find yourself furrowing your brow as you examine your plants for aphids, you need to pick up this book. The book is, in short, a hoot!
Roth has taken dozens of old Beatles songs and adapted the words to fit gardening ideas and practices. For example, sing this to the tune of "I Want To Hold Your Hand":
"Well I'll tell you something
I hope you'll understand
I don't want no rototiller
I want to dig by hand
I want to dig by hand
I want to dig by hand
Well tractors make me queasy
Their noise I cannot stand
Their fumes, they sure are stinky
I want to dig by hand "
Interspersed with this lunacy are good gardening tips and quite a bit of Beatles trivia. If you're looking for a purely fun book for a gardening friend, this is it. The only drawback is that I couldn't remember half the tunes. On the other hand, almost all of them are interchangeable anyway. (The New Garden Journal [P.O. Box 6121, San Antonio, TX 78209], September/October 1997, p. 30, "Reviews & Previews".) -- The New Garden Journal [P.O. Box 6121, San Antonio, TX 78209], September/October 1997, p. 30, "Reviews & Previews".
You know that you will be reading something pretty unusual when a book's category listings include Organic Gardening, Humorous Poetry and Music. It takes a stretch of the imagination to connect these widely divergent classifications, and we can only imagine the librarian's dilemma when attempting to assign the appropriate Dewey Decimal number! So, perhaps you will bear with us if we fumble a bit for the words to describe this most unique literary offering.
The Beetless' Gardening Book will appeal to any and all who consider themselves closet poets, or who sing in the shower, hum while working or whistle when they walk. It will be even more irresistible to those who do any of the above while participating in the great organic food raising adventure. Author/poet Chris Roth is Organic Gardening instructor at Aprovecho Research Center in Cottage Grove, Oregon. Among other things, the Center offers internships in sustainable living skills. The publisher, Carrotseed Press, is also located in Cottage Grove, so the book has a wonderful local flavor about it.
Although claiming it to be the work of Jam Lemon, Pear Machete, Joychoi Heirloom and Rutabaga Variety - The Beetless, Roth has written a volume of poetry in which each of the 57 offerings fits the rhythm of a particular Beatles' song. The author makes it very clear that he is in no way infringing upon the originals, or attempting to substitute lyrics. The poems are simply to be read as if they had certain rhythms and tones running along in the background. Indeed, we found it impossible to read them any other way!
While deliciously satirical, lyrical and eminently hum-able, all of the "songs" in this gem of a collection contain inspirations, hints, knowledge and perspectives which add to our understanding of and appreciation for the current return to home gardening. The only way to give the reader a hint of the unique character of this book is to let you sample it for yourself. Here are a few lines from Bug Me Do:
Bug, bug me do
You'll be my insect zoo
The birds will like it too
So please bug me do
Whoa-ho bug me do
If you found yourself humming Love Me Do by Lennon-McCartney, you get the idea. The words are not only lots of fun, they also contain much wisdom. Another example, from All Your Seeds Are Love will illustrate this:
All your seeds are love (for the children now)
All your seeds are love (and their children)
All your seeds are love, love
Love's in all your seeds
(Music: All You Need Is Love, Lennon-McCartney)
We could go on and on with personal favorites, such as Permaculture Garden, Mulch! or Please Weed Me, but we want to let each of you discover these pleasures for yourself. What lifts this book above the category of just pure fun (which, in itself would be reason enough to buy it), is that each page contains not only the poetry, but also side bars, notes and comments which further explain some of the more important aspects of natural gardening. As the reader thumbs and hums his/her way through the pages, much is gained which can actually be of practical use in the garden. Since reading the Beetless' book, the snails, slugs and bugs in our own garden may still be pests, but we see them with different eyes as we sing Here Come The Slugs. There are hints about everything from seedlings to freezing and canning, plus two quizzes, a glossary and a great bibliography.
While utilizing what is definitely an unconventional, right-brained approach, Roth has managed to educate, stimulate, celebrate and reiterate about important things we all need to know if we are ever to improve the quality of our lives by improving the quality of our soil. And it is so much more fun to read the Beetless' renditions than the typical garden encyclopedia arranged oh, so neatly and precisely alphabetically. We tip our straw hats in salute to Chris Roth, who gets the Golden Hoe Award for the season's most enjoyable guidebook. -- Access [1257 Siskiyou Blvd., #86, Ashland, OR 97520; September 1997, p. 26, Book Review by Mary & David Dohrmann.
From the Back Cover
"To cultivate a sense of humus in your soil, now is the time to dig this book!" - John Jeavons, author, How to Grow More Vegetables than you ever thought possible on less land than you can imagine
"If you say you want a revolution in gardening, come together and get this book. It will tell you how to improve the soil in your octopus' garden so you can enjoy your strawberry fields forever." - Grace Gershuny, author, Start with the Soil, coauthor, The Soul of Soil, coeditor, The Rodale Book of Composting
"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" - David Katz, Ag Access
"The Beetless' Gardening Book catches the same mix of silly, profound spirit I feel sniffing compost or watching peas grow. As the song says: ' Ooo, then I sensed you were near me, Ooo, and I wanted you to hear me.' So pass it on to every compost sniffer you know." - Jim Nollman, author, Why We Garden
"Dear Sir or Madam, can you spare that book?
Do you have any more? Can I take a look?
Others use newspapers, cardboard too
But I'm a frustrated writer
So I want to be a paperback mulcher
Paperback mulcher"
- Pear Machete, in "Paperback Mulcher"
