Before It's Too Late: Why Some Kids Get Into Trouble--and What Parents Can Do About It [Paperback]

Stanton Samenow (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 20, 2001

Is it “just a phase,” or could your child be headed for serious trouble?


If you sense that your child is seriously troubled, you may feel bewildered, helpless, ineffective. How can you stop your child from throwing away his or her life? How can you avoid thinking that you’ve failed as a parent? In this newly revised and expanded edition of the classic guide Before It’s Too Late, clinical psychologist Stanton E. Samenow explains how to break the useless cycle of blame and take corrective action. Topics include:

* How to understand the personality of the antisocial child
* How to tell the difference between a “phase” and a pattern of misbehavior
* How to identify the seven common manifestations of antisocial behavior
* How to cope more effectively as the parent of an older antisocial child
* How to avoid the six common mistakes that prevent parents from taking action
* How to step in—early and effectively—before bad behavior becomes entrenched

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Samenow, a clinical psychologist, tempers the notion that parents and environment are usually responsible for a child's serious misbehavior. How can it always be the fault of misguided parents, he wonders, if other children in the same family turn out to be responsible, law-abiding citizens? Samenow argues that by blaming parents, we don't allow the child to take responsibility for his or her own actions. Samenow shows parents how to break this cycle of irresponsibility. First he bluntly describes the thinking he has found to be typical of antisocial children, from disregarding consequences to lying as a way of life. Then he offers strategies for parental intervention, including the erroneous thinking parents may have to overcome in order to take action. Samenow helps parents identify patterns of behavior, offering numerous comparisons between normal developmental issues and how they differ from the behavior and motivation of an antisocial child. While some of his descriptions are harsh (is it really possible to treat a 10-year-old as the master of his or her fate?), anxious parents may welcome such plain talk. This book is invaluable for parents who know their children are headed down the wrong path, but it may be even more important for parents who aren't sure.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

“Wise, tough, and full of common sense.”
—Washington Post

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press (November 20, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0812930657
• ISBN-13: 978-0812930658
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #503,654 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

46 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The BEST of the bazillion books I've read on behavior probs., August 12, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Before It's Too Late (Hardcover)

I've been trying to understand my son's problems since he was 18 months old (now 15). He's been diagnosed with numerous disorders and hospitalized x2. I gave up highlighting the book's text when I realized I was highlighting every word! Deepest thanks to you, Dr. Samenow, for being the one voice of reason in my experience of partenting.

P.S. Like parents described in the book, I also have another child who is loving & rational, and unfortunatly has paid a high price for her brother's disruptive problems.

Take care, Debbie Anderson

43 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What is wrong with our children and what can we do about it?, May 14, 1999

By 

Rev. Dr. Michael K. Mitchell - See all my reviews

This review is from: Before It's Too Late: Why Some Kids Get Into Trouble--and What Parents Can Do About It (Hardcover)

In the book , Before It's Too Late, Dr.Samenow answers the questions many Americans have concerning what we can do about teenage criminals.

I have taught in McLaughlin Youth Center (MYC) for over 11 years. MYC is the state reform school for Alaska. Over these 11 years I have taught hundreds of youthful offenders. Dr. Samenow has not only described the problems these offenders have, he has identified how to help those who can be helped.

Many times I have asked my students, "Did any of you know that what you did to get incarcerated here was wrong?" In every instance 100% of them admit that they knew that their action was wrong. They admit that they made the choice to take a chance and commit a crime.

Through out my teaching career, which began in 1955, I have heard people say, "Oh, the poor children. If their parents had not neglected them, if they had had a good home, if only society gave them a chance, et cetera." This is utter nonsense and Dr. Samenow refutes this nonsense with facts and statistics. These facts reveal that the choices these criminals made were not the result of neglect or poor conditions. In nearly every case children made the choices. These children have a predisposition to antisocial behavior. America has excused their behavior and we can not survive if we do not stop excusing juvenile criminal behavior.

America must save itself from this growing number of criminals. We must recognize that the weak treatment programs of the past have not worked. These programs are not working now and that the children of today need to know that their antisocial behavior will result in the swift, sure and certain punishment their crimes deserve.

Dr. Samenow tells us how to do this. We must listen before it's too late.

Rev. Dr. Michael K. Mitchell Anchorage, Alaska

36 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Before It's Too Late: Excellent resource for parents/helpers, June 13, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Before It's Too Late (Hardcover)

Dr. Samenow has a "spirit of the law" approach as he sketches in traits of anit-social people. He clarifies and substantiates the idea that people, including young children are responsible for their choices regardless of life circumstances. The book validates parents, frees them from the numbness of guilt, gives them confidence and encourages them with ideas of how to to respond to their antisocial children. As an elementary school counselor I feel this book should be read or the message in it should be conveyed to teachers of these children, as well as their parents. This book does not "spoon feed" the reader. If one wants specific ideas, s/he should refer to current parenting books that address this important issue. Now more than ever, we need to guide children into patterns of respect and responsibility, thus preventing antisocial personality development.