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Before It's Too Late: Why Some Kids Get Into Trouble--and What Parents Can Do About It Paperback – November 20, 2001


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Harmony; Reprint edition (November 20, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0812930657
  • ISBN-13: 978-0812930658
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #206,187 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Samenow, a clinical psychologist, tempers the notion that parents and environment are usually responsible for a child's serious misbehavior. How can it always be the fault of misguided parents, he wonders, if other children in the same family turn out to be responsible, law-abiding citizens? Samenow argues that by blaming parents, we don't allow the child to take responsibility for his or her own actions. Samenow shows parents how to break this cycle of irresponsibility. First he bluntly describes the thinking he has found to be typical of antisocial children, from disregarding consequences to lying as a way of life. Then he offers strategies for parental intervention, including the erroneous thinking parents may have to overcome in order to take action. Samenow helps parents identify patterns of behavior, offering numerous comparisons between normal developmental issues and how they differ from the behavior and motivation of an antisocial child. While some of his descriptions are harsh (is it really possible to treat a 10-year-old as the master of his or her fate?), anxious parents may welcome such plain talk. This book is invaluable for parents who know their children are headed down the wrong path, but it may be even more important for parents who aren't sure.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

“Wise, tough, and full of common sense.”
Washington Post

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Customer Reviews

Having read and re-read this outstanding book, I highly recommend to parents.
joyjoyg@worldnet.att.net
Each child is different, and this book will give parents an invaluable insight into their child's mind, and they should use this insight to the best extent possible.
Parent
Don't think this book has all the answers, get a good therapist too, like I did!
Cynthia Roberts

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

53 of 55 people found the following review helpful By Rev. Dr. Michael K. Mitchell on May 14, 1999
Format: Hardcover
In the book , Before It's Too Late, Dr.Samenow answers the questions many Americans have concerning what we can do about teenage criminals.
I have taught in McLaughlin Youth Center (MYC) for over 11 years. MYC is the state reform school for Alaska. Over these 11 years I have taught hundreds of youthful offenders. Dr. Samenow has not only described the problems these offenders have, he has identified how to help those who can be helped.
Many times I have asked my students, "Did any of you know that what you did to get incarcerated here was wrong?" In every instance 100% of them admit that they knew that their action was wrong. They admit that they made the choice to take a chance and commit a crime.
Through out my teaching career, which began in 1955, I have heard people say, "Oh, the poor children. If their parents had not neglected them, if they had had a good home, if only society gave them a chance, et cetera." This is utter nonsense and Dr. Samenow refutes this nonsense with facts and statistics. These facts reveal that the choices these criminals made were not the result of neglect or poor conditions. In nearly every case children made the choices. These children have a predisposition to antisocial behavior. America has excused their behavior and we can not survive if we do not stop excusing juvenile criminal behavior.
America must save itself from this growing number of criminals. We must recognize that the weak treatment programs of the past have not worked. These programs are not working now and that the children of today need to know that their antisocial behavior will result in the swift, sure and certain punishment their crimes deserve.
Dr. Samenow tells us how to do this. We must listen before it's too late.
Rev. Dr. Michael K. Mitchell Anchorage, Alaska
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51 of 55 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 12, 1999
Format: Hardcover
I've been trying to understand my son's problems since he was 18 months old (now 15). He's been diagnosed with numerous disorders and hospitalized x2. I gave up highlighting the book's text when I realized I was highlighting every word! Deepest thanks to you, Dr. Samenow, for being the one voice of reason in my experience of partenting.
P.S. Like parents described in the book, I also have another child who is loving & rational, and unfortunatly has paid a high price for her brother's disruptive problems.
Take care, Debbie Anderson
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28 of 30 people found the following review helpful By Robyn Fillman (rfillman@msn.com) on May 23, 1999
Format: Hardcover
This was one of the most thoroughly researched book on children with discipline problems who do not respond to the usual consequences of their behavior. Dr. Samenow has extensive experience with criminal behavior and insight into the thought processes of deviant children. I was very disappointed, however, with the lack suggestions for parents with these children. The efficacy of counseling is implied without advice on how to find a professional with experience in these areas. How to deal with specific, common behavior problems is not addressed.
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26 of 28 people found the following review helpful By George Stancliffe on July 10, 2002
Format: Paperback
And how to deal with it without being manipulated or bullied.
Especially helpful to me were the descriptions of common symptoms of antisocial people (each symptom gets a whole chapter of treatment):
1) Life is a One-Way Street---My Way
2) Disregard of Injury to Others
3) Unrealistic Expectations and Pretentions
4) Taking the Easy Way
5) Lying as a Way of Life
6) "It's Not My Fault"--Refusing to be Held Accountable
7) An Island Unto Himself
Of course, if you know anybody who exhibits some of these traits, you better get a copy of this book. The last part of the book shows how to successfully deal with these difficult people.
--George Stancliffe
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Audrey on March 9, 2006
Format: Hardcover
I wish I'd read this book years ago. This is the 2nd re-written edition of the book, which Samenow explains differs from the first in that he distinguishes more specifically between the behavior of an antisocial child and phases of bad behavior of other children.

I am a parent of 3 children - 2 are very normal, confident and well rounded, the other has been in therapy, psychiatry, psychiatric hospitals and on various cocktails of medication since he was 4 years old. Now we have reached teenage years and still have no answers or concrete diagnoses, but an increasingly problem whereby we live with locked cupboards all over over our house, dealings with police, school, firesetting problems.

After discussions with a psychologist and social worker about antisocial personality, this book was recommended to me and I recognized everything written as something we have dealt with since our son was a small child. The greatest relief given to me by this book was not only the acceptance that we did everything we could, everything advised by every doctor & therapst, but we finally understand more about how his mind works when he makes the wrong choices and treats his closest family as the enemy. This understanding alone, even before I reached the chapters on parenting advice, helped us immediately to dissolve the power struggles and changed the way we approach a conflict. This acceptance by us not only helps us but our other two children, and has possibly helped prevent further erosion of our family's esteem, hopes and sanity.
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