Customer Reviews

Before It's Too Late: Why Some Kids Get Into Trouble--and What Parents Can Do About It

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I've been trying to understand my son's problems since he was 18 months old (now 15). He's been diagnosed with numerous disorders and hospitalized x2. I gave up highlighting the book's text when I realized I was highlighting every word! Deepest thanks to you, Dr. Samenow, for being the one voice of reason in my experience of partenting.

P.S. Like parents described in the book, I also have another child who is loving & rational, and unfortunatly has paid a high price for her brother's disruptive problems.

Take care, Debbie Anderson

In the book , Before It's Too Late, Dr.Samenow answers the questions many Americans have concerning what we can do about teenage criminals.

I have taught in McLaughlin Youth Center (MYC) for over 11 years. MYC is the state reform school for Alaska. Over these 11 years I have taught hundreds of youthful offenders. Dr. Samenow has not only described the problems these offenders have, he has identified how to help those who can be helped.

Many times I have asked my students, "Did any of you know that what you did to get incarcerated here was wrong?" In every instance 100% of them admit that they knew that their action was wrong. They admit that they made the choice to take a chance and commit a crime.

Through out my teaching career, which began in 1955, I have heard people say, "Oh, the poor children. If their parents had not neglected them, if they had had a good home, if only society gave them a chance, et cetera." This is utter nonsense and Dr. Samenow refutes this nonsense with facts and statistics. These facts reveal that the choices these criminals made were not the result of neglect or poor conditions. In nearly every case children made the choices. These children have a predisposition to antisocial behavior. America has excused their behavior and we can not survive if we do not stop excusing juvenile criminal behavior.

America must save itself from this growing number of criminals. We must recognize that the weak treatment programs of the past have not worked. These programs are not working now and that the children of today need to know that their antisocial behavior will result in the swift, sure and certain punishment their crimes deserve.

Dr. Samenow tells us how to do this. We must listen before it's too late.

Rev. Dr. Michael K. Mitchell Anchorage, Alaska

Dr. Samenow has a "spirit of the law" approach as he sketches in traits of anit-social people. He clarifies and substantiates the idea that people, including young children are responsible for their choices regardless of life circumstances. The book validates parents, frees them from the numbness of guilt, gives them confidence and encourages them with ideas of how to to respond to their antisocial children. As an elementary school counselor I feel this book should be read or the message in it should be conveyed to teachers of these children, as well as their parents. This book does not "spoon feed" the reader. If one wants specific ideas, s/he should refer to current parenting books that address this important issue. Now more than ever, we need to guide children into patterns of respect and responsibility, thus preventing antisocial personality development.

This was one of the most thoroughly researched book on children with discipline problems who do not respond to the usual consequences of their behavior. Dr. Samenow has extensive experience with criminal behavior and insight into the thought processes of deviant children. I was very disappointed, however, with the lack suggestions for parents with these children. The efficacy of counseling is implied without advice on how to find a professional with experience in these areas. How to deal with specific, common behavior problems is not addressed.

And how to deal with it without being manipulated or bullied.

Especially helpful to me were the descriptions of common symptoms of antisocial people (each symptom gets a whole chapter of treatment):
1) Life is a One-Way Street---My Way
2) Disregard of Injury to Others
3) Unrealistic Expectations and Pretentions
4) Taking the Easy Way
5) Lying as a Way of Life
6) "It's Not My Fault"--Refusing to be Held Accountable
7) An Island Unto Himself

Of course, if you know anybody who exhibits some of these traits, you better get a copy of this book. The last part of the book shows how to successfully deal with these difficult people.

--George Stancliffe

I wish I'd read this book years ago. This is the 2nd re-written edition of the book, which Samenow explains differs from the first in that he distinguishes more specifically between the behavior of an antisocial child and phases of bad behavior of other children.

I am a parent of 3 children - 2 are very normal, confident and well rounded, the other has been in therapy, psychiatry, psychiatric hospitals and on various cocktails of medication since he was 4 years old. Now we have reached teenage years and still have no answers or concrete diagnoses, but an increasingly problem whereby we live with locked cupboards all over over our house, dealings with police, school, firesetting problems.

After discussions with a psychologist and social worker about antisocial personality, this book was recommended to me and I recognized everything written as something we have dealt with since our son was a small child. The greatest relief given to me by this book was not only the acceptance that we did everything we could, everything advised by every doctor & therapst, but we finally understand more about how his mind works when he makes the wrong choices and treats his closest family as the enemy. This understanding alone, even before I reached the chapters on parenting advice, helped us immediately to dissolve the power struggles and changed the way we approach a conflict. This acceptance by us not only helps us but our other two children, and has possibly helped prevent further erosion of our family's esteem, hopes and sanity.

I feel SO enlightened after reading this book. It is a must for all parents. An absolute must for therapists/psychologists. I can see at least 3 people in my family that is the person this book is written about. It is helping me cope with a very difficult, controlling person I work with. Now I know exactly where I stand with these people. No more will I bend too far trying to please them, and I will be on the lookout for the time when they attempt to control me. Now I feel so much more in control of my own life. These people written about are generally so well liked by most, but now, I know better. I purchased a copy for my grown daughters who are now raising their children, a couple have reached the age of adulthood, but hopefully, it's not too late.

Criminals begin as kids. Unfortunately many believe that this statement is not true. After working with prison inmates and kids in community MHMR settings, I see the roots of criminal thinking in many so-called "disturbed" kids. Any one who works with kids needs to read this book. I would recommend reading The Criminal Mind as well. Do not dismiss this book with out carefully considering it carefully.

Dr. Samenow applies his years of research and experience with the criminal and applies it to childern. Some may argue that kids are different from adult criminals, but in many ways they are not. There are obivious differences, but there is a suprising similarity in their thought process. I have extensive experience with criminals, inmates, and "disturbed" kids. Intervention as early as possible is required.

As a paremt of three sons and a member of TOUGHLOVE this book was a welcome addition to our weekly parent support meetings. All the parents in attendance agreed that Dr. Samenow has given an insight into antisocial children that has been long overlooked.

Dr. Samenow does a great job of describing the antisocial child, but does not really tell the parent much about how to solve the problems of the antisocial child. There are lot of really good, very accurate examples and stories shared here. For the reader who does not live with one of these children or who needs reassurance that he is not the cause of the behaviors, this is a good read. For the parent who is employing consistant rules, behavior modifications, therapy, a loving environment and is still seeing an antisocial child, this book was not much help. So, the search for answers continues....