Customer Reviews

Before I Say Goodbye: Recollections and Observations from One Woman's Final Year

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Finally, a book that was so honest and real about facing death where one has time to contemplate it. Have you asked yourself what you would do. This is what most would really do, like Ruth, keep on spending time with the ones you love the most, hold onto hope, e-mail friends about the ordinary quirks and funny banalities of everyday life, be angry and sad, and slowly let go. Ruth was a marvelous writer at capturing all of this, honest, witty and succinct in a Bridget Jones' Diary style, but the most moving was her handwritten scribbles of a letter to her children before she died ("ask all the friends and relatives about me"). So poignant. Her husband's afterwords describing her last days and death so clearly brought home how lonely dying is, no one truly understands or can accompany you through it, and alienation from all and everything, even your husband and children, must result in order to say, finally, goodbye. I was really glad I found and read this book -- short but so emotionally moving I had to read it in stages. It makes you think, feel, ask yourself questions, and want to hold and talk to the ones you love. British humor and slang throughout. I found the British style and tone highlighted the humorous tidbits in Ruth's writing. She seemed a quite remarkable woman. Highly recommended.

I was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor, Grade IV, and given a prognosis that was not exceptionally good. This book helped me put my feelings and emotions into perspective and better understanding, and it has helped family members who have read the book do the same. I enjoyed the book so much that I have ordered an extra copy to give to my Neurosurgeon in the hopes that he will find it worthy of having residents and medical students do required reading of it, in the hopes that they too can benefit from the patient's perspective. An excellent book of great value, but not an easy read for those diagnosed, or their families, with life threatening illness and disease.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1996 and in November of 1998 she died, aged 44. I watched her becoming helpless, obedient, clildlike and frequently found myself wondering "Who is this woman and where did my mother disappear to?"

Reading this book helped me understand what happened to her and that it was not unusual for a cancer patient to become that way. In other words: She did not become a freak, and obviously that is a great comfort to know. My mother was still in there somewhere.

This book will make you laugh and cry. It will break your heart and increase your understanding of loss and death.

This book should be required reading everywhere!

First of all, I don't understand why so many people believe books should be "life changing". I'm saying this because, when reading the previous reviews about this book, quite a few people have mentioned that they expected this book to be life changing: and it wasn't. Why do all things written by cancer patients & such have to be life changing? That's one question. And why do the things they say have to be relevant to everyone? That's another question.

Ruth Picardie was a person with her ups & downs, her good qualities & her bad qualities. One thing that should be immediately noted is that she never intended for a book to be made out of her emailing with friends. Or maybe she thought she had more time, which would enable her to continue writing her columns & make a book out of them eventually. Sadly, her illness caught up with her. So "Before I say goodbye" is just a collection of personal emails, letters from Observer readers, & her 4-5 columns for the Observer. The columns are definitely the best writing in the book, & that's how it should be, since it's the only writing intended for publication.

For some reason, I was more touched by the emailing, maybe because the ordinarity of the messages showed me (as if I didn't know...) that commonplace things happen to people with cancer, even as they do to you & me. If you turn that around, it also means that cancer happens to commonplace people, again like you & me!! Obviouus, isn't it? But denial is a very strong force, & it's so natural to believe things like this cannot happen to you. If for nothing else, then just for this, "Before I say goodbye" is very chilling & terrifying. I for one read it in one sitting, yesterday night, & ended up finding it difficult to sleep afterwards...But on the other hand, this book also gave me a sense of perspective about my life & its problems.

Another thing I should mention is that there's an interesting afterword by Ruth Picardie's husband, which gives a much fuller picture about the family & the way they all dealt with Ruth's condition. During the course of the book, lots of questions are left unanswered, which is natural since the book, as I said, is not really a book, but a collection of different pieces of writing. So Matt's writing puts everything into place. It's also a truthful & painful piece of writing.

If you're generally interested in this subject-matter, John Diamond's "C: Because cowards get cancer too" is on the top of the list, & also "Dancing at the edge of life" by Gale Warner. These are much more complete books. It's very sad that Ruth's writing never had the chance of developing into a real book. Time was cruelly stolen from her & from her family.

I ordered this book as soon as I saw it reviewed in the paper. Being a woman in my thirties with twins, I thought how can I not read it. I laughed, I cried, and shook my head in wonder at the incredible beauty and courage of the human condition. Death is still such a taboo subject in our culture, that any writing that can help to illuminate our journey is welcome and needed. I loved it and recommend it without reservation. Thank you Ruth, and Matt and everyone else who contributed to "Before I say Goodbye" p.s. perhaps a follow up book in a few years to let us all know how the children are doing?

How can I describe a book that made me laugh and cry and appreciate my life and loved ones more intensely? The story of Ruth's last days is so real, so beautifully written. I feel as if I know her and I can't help believing that she lives on. Ruth was a very literate and contemporary person. Readers unfamiliar with that frame of reference might be a bit confused by some of her allusions. In my opinion, this is a perfect book. I'm buying it and forcing all of my friends to read it.

I am so happy to have come across this wonderful story about Ruth and her friends. I only wish I could have been one of those people lucky enough to have corresponded with her.

I was diagnosed with a rare cancer a year ago, and after 3 surgeries, chemo and radiation I am always looking to make lemonade with the lemons I have received in my life. I found myself laughing and feeling a true bond with all the correspondents. They expressed so many of the same thoughts that I have ..."accept that I have a terminal illness, that I am not going to live for three score years and ten, and then be positive about maximising length and quality of time I have left. That means keeping health, embracing orthodox and complementary treatment, and have a good time..."

Sad, sad, sad but very pragmatic approach to dying. Enjoyed the thoughts of Ruth, and empathized very much with her thoughts regarding religion (she was not religious). There is much to think about here, many insights on how to approach the big C for both the dying and the surviving. Only a hundred pages, but definitely worth reading.

Before I Say Goodbye is about Ruth Picardie, a 33-year-old British journalist, and her life with cancer. The book gives a very clear view as it is a compilation of e-mails between Picardie and her friends, and the columns she wrote about her daily life with cancer. Some years before the actual start of the book, she was told that her growths were benign. However, as she found out, her cancer was much more aggressive and had metastasized (spread) to other organs. The cancer had killed her within a year of being diagnosed. She was 34 years old and a mother of two-year-old twins.

To be quite honest, I was really disappointed with this book. Though I admired Ruth Picardie's style and writing, frequently I felt like I had crossed a line of privacy. I just felt strange reading someone else's e-mails. Perhaps, it's just me. On the other hand, since the e-mails pertain to Picardie and the correspondent, there were, of course, lots of things that didn't really make sense to me, as a reader. I was also disappointed that she left us little insight into her cancer. I was hoping to learn more about cancer from this book, but she mentioned very little of her cancer, her treatments, etc.

Before I Say Goodbye was one of the saddest books I've read recently. Despite the fact that I frequently felt awkward and uncomfortable reading someone's private e-mails, at the end, I really felt for Ruth Picardie's struggle against cancer. I only hope that if I ever have cancer, I will be able to handle it as well as she did.

I have great sympathy for the family of the author. Living with cancer and losing a loved one to cancer are enormous tests of faith, courage and emotional stamina. This I know, for I, too, am living with cancer. The book is an excellent tribute to a courageous woman; however, I did have a major problem with the book. The book reads similar to a diary. Obviously, the e-mails and messages contained in the book meant a great deal to the author and her family. However, the the messages have little meaning to the book's reader. It felt like I was reading a stranger's mail but only getting bits and pieces that did not connect. The feeling was similar to listening to one side of a telephone conversation. We know nothing of the people who wrote these messages and e-mails; therefore, it was extremely difficult to relate to any of them, other than we all know they had compassion for the author and felt her loss. Overall, the book was a nice way of remembering Ruth Picardie, but it read like a jigsaw puzzle - a piece here, a piece there, but nothing fit together.