Review
What a pleasure to find a book that tells it like it is - the facts about dating and forced sex! Scott Lindquist strips away the confusion, guilt, "supposed to's" of our society and conveys clearly and fully, the real issues and how to handle them. He deals directly with the dynamics of sex by force and by intimidation, and most significantly, he looks at the issues from the standpoint of the man on the date, as well as the woman.
Before He Takes You Out is readable, insightful, accurate in its analysis and suggestions, even inspiring! As an eight year dean of students and twelve-year director of a rape crisis center serving 1,000 victims yearly (including the very bright and capable who still were confused by their experience), I wish for every student, male and female, to read and discuss this book.
(Dr. Ziegler is a leading psychotherapist and expert court witness in rape trauma, having supervised treatment of 14,000 survivors. She has published in medical journals, frequently appears in the media and consults across the nation, teaching medical health and law enforcement professionals). -- Peg Ziegler, Ph. D., Director, Rape Crisis Center, Grady Memorial Hospital, Atlanta, GA
From the Publisher
Before He Takes You Out is a manual for the prevention of Date and Acquaintance Rape. Date Rape has become the #1 violent crime on college campus, and statistics indicate that one in four women are victims of these tragic and in many cases un-reported crime.
Campus Law Enforcement Officers and Deans of 13 major universities contributed to the writing of the book, and Dr. Peg Ziegler, Director of Atlanta's Rape Crisis Center, has written the Forward.
The book begins with: "Leaving the Nest," which deals with the naivete' that accompanies most college students, and the belief that they are invulnerable! The definition of Date Rape and Stranger Rape is discussed. What happens during a date rape is candidly analyzed through one woman's story. In "Helen's Story," the author dissects each incident that leads up to her rape, by dividing it into ten stages. Then we are taken back through her story to find out how she might have prevented the rape. This is done in a non-judgmental way, by never blaming the victim and always placing the responsibility for the crime, squarely on the shoulders of the rapist.
When and where does "it" happen, and who is at risk? What is the "Dating Dilemma?" and how do men and women differ in their reason for dating? What is the "Date Rape Triangle?" and what part does alcohol and isolation play in changing the criminal intent of the rapist? How does an ordinary guy become a date-rapist, and what attitudes lead to violence and sexual assault? All these questions are answered with candor and honesty. The effects of alcohol and drugs on communication, escape, and subsequent prosecution is also discussed without judgement.
Can a woman prevent the rape from happening? YES (in most cases), and Chapter Seven tells her how to stop it through effective communication and physical maneuvers, before it's too late. If all else fails, and she is raped then the "Second Struggle" for healing begins. The victim is taken through the steps of reporting the crime, the evidentiary exam, the reaction of friends and family, the legal process, and the emotional roller-coaster of healing. All this is explored in depth, keeping in mind that regardless of the circumstances, either before or after the crime, IT'S NOT HER FAULT. How can she heal, and how can she regain control of her body, emotions and thoughts, so that she can trust and believe in herself once again.
Chapters are devoted to men, and the male attitudes that create and promote rape. The author takes men through a male rape scenario, to give them the idea of the reality of being victimized. The following chapters offer suggestions to friends and family, so that they can aid the healing process. The author looks at the reality of weapons, and the common sense of self defense for women. The Afterward is about "Choices" both before and after the rape. A brief synopsis of rape prevention is covered in the Fifteen Ways to Prevent Date Rape, and a list of over 400 Rape Crisis Centers are included . The author concludes with "The Safe Dating Emergency Card", a cut-out section in the back of the book, that a woman can carry inside her wallet or purse.
