Before Their Time: Adult Children's Experiences of Parental Suicide [Paperback]

Mary Stimming (Editor), Maureen Stimming (Editor)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 13, 1999

"Before Their Time" is the first work to present adult children survivors' (defined as eighteen or above at the time of the parent's death) accounts of their loss, grief, and resolution following a parent's suicide. In one section, the book offers the perspectives of sons and daughters on the deaths of mothers; in another, the perspectives of sons and daughters on the deaths of fathers. In a third section, four siblings reflect on the shared loss of their mother. Each of these survivors faces the common difficulties associated with losing a loved one by suicide. They also experience difficulties specific to their status as both adult and child. Topics such as the impact of the parent's suicide on adult children's personal and professional choices, marriages and parenting, sibling and surviving parent relationships are explored with sensitivity and insight. Various coping skills, including humor, are described. The writers describe feelings of regret and responsibility related to their parent's suicide. They express concern about other family members' vulnerability to suicide. They speak openly about the fears and stresses they face and how they cope with them. The authors ranged in age from nineteen to thirty-six at the time of the parent's death. Between one and twenty-five years have passed since that tragedy. In addition to the first-person narratives, the book includes a resource section with a national listing of suicide survivor support groups; an overview of existing research on survivors of suicide by John L. McIntosh, past president of the American Association of Suicidology; and an essay on elderly suicide by David C. Clark, secretary-general, International Association for Suicide, and editor-in-chief of Crisis. The book is introduced with a Foreword by Rev. Charles Rubey, founder and director of Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide. Author note: Mary Stimming, Assistant Professor of Religious Studies at Dominican University, gives lectures and workshops on suicide and religion. Maureen Stimming, Associate Director of Career Services at Chicago-Kent College of Law, served as a therapist in a residential mental health treatment center before completing graduate studies in psychology. Prior to her work at Kent, she served as a counselor in the Chicago parochial school system.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

Honest first-person accounts by daughters and sons of the impact of parental suicide on them and their families --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Mary Stimming, Assistant Professor of Religious Studies at Dominican University, gives lectures and workshops on suicide and religion.

Maureen Stimming, Associate Director of Career Services at Chicago-Kent College of Law, served as a therapist in a residential mental health treatment center before completing graduate studies in psychology. Prior to her work at Kent, she served as a counselor in the Chicago parochial school system. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Temple University Press (January 13, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1566396557
• ISBN-13: 978-1566396554
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #893,838 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Finally! A book for the least spoke about survivor!, August 13, 2000

By 

[e-mail] (Era, TX) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Before Their Time: Adult Children's Experiences of Parental Suicide (Paperback)

The book is aimed towards the adult child survivor. It details some of the many different types of emotions that one experiences. Insightful information passed on by other's losses. It illustrates everything from the initial shock to how many explain the cause of death to the grandchildren. The book demonstrates how the loss of each parent affects both the daughter and the son of the parent. A must read for any sdult child who is experincing the whirlwind of emotions from their loss.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Accounts by adult children about parents who died by suicide, December 30, 2004

By 

Danielle R. Reed (Glenside, PA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Before Their Time: Adult Children's Experiences of Parental Suicide (Paperback)

This book is divided into four sections. In section one and two, adult children tell their own stories about the aftermath of the death of their mother or father by suicide. In the third section, four adult children from the same family describe the suicide of their mother, and in the fourth section, two experts write about research and treatment. In section one and two, although the adult children have different backgrounds, their accounts contain common themes that illustrate the near-universal emotions people experience in the wake of suicide. As a counterpoint, in section three, four siblings have different perspectives on the same suicide, showing there is no single way to grieve. The final section is titled `Research and Resources' but could also have been titled `Myth Busters' since it contains facts about suicide based on empirical observation and may provide the reader with fresh insights. Overall, the only misstep the editors make is the decision to exclude gory details (i.e., finding the dead parent) and this omission reinforces the idea that this issue is too horrible to write about or to read. This quibble aside, the book will help a select but not small group of grieving adults and provides both consolation and information.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Validating, but not helpful..., February 26, 2008

By 

Kellianne M. Karlton - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Before Their Time: Adult Children's Experiences of Parental Suicide (Paperback)

My father committed suicide in Jan. 2008 so I was in search of answers, all this book did was add to my "head" with reading other adult childrens experences. The book did however, validate most of what I'm feeling in my heart and my mind. It also showed how differently everyone grieves. Made me sad that some marriages end when a parent committs suicide, because I need my husband more then I have ever needed him in the ten years we've been together. Not a helpful book to read if you have just gone through the suicide of a parent - good book if you are a psychology major in college though to give good insight with regards to adult children dealing with a parents suicide. I don't reccommend this to anyone in my shoes though - it will just mess with your head even more...maybe in a few years read it, but not 7 weeks later, and actually I read it less then a month after losing my otherwise perfectly healthy 62 year old father.