Customer Reviews

Before You Live Together: Will Living Together Bring Your Closer or Drive You Apart?

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I was given this book by a friend, and at first was a little hesitant to read it. But once I got started it was definately enjoyable. I would categorize myself as an extremely critical reader, and this book passed my test. The author does a good job of presenting evidence that is actually fact and from credible sources, not just an author's opinion.

There are good examples and stories throughout, making it an even better read. More applicable for me at least.

Anyways, I recommend it. Do yourself a favor and do some research before making a big choice like living together. And, I would say this book is some good research.

Before You Live Together by Pastor David Gudgel (Bethany Bible Church, Phoenix, Arizona) is a helpful and soul-searching resource for Christian readers seeking to examine whether it is the right time to take their relationship to the step of sharing living space. Written with reverence for love, with respect for human needs, with wry humor, and with biblical reasons to follow God's plan for a romantic relationship, Before You Live Together is a thoughtful and strongly recommended pastoral study that poses challenging and relevant questions for couples today.

In toady's society of "Casual sex", "trying on someone for size" (i.e. living together), and disposable marriage this book is great! I actually wanted to review this so that I could share it with people I know and teens/young adults. Today's society has set a new standard of relationships and in the process they have devalued the very sacred union of marriage and set people up for spiritual and emotional bondage caused by sexual sin. In secular research alone it is found that many people with multiple partners have varied issues with health, self-esteem, and settling for long term relationships.

At first glance at the title I was a little taken back - I guess it is because living together is so common place and socially accepted: My first thoughts were that this would end up giving people a chance to justify this decision.

However, quite the opposite is true. Without being judgmental or overly "religious" or pushy this book does a great job of dispelling the lies of the enemy that have taken over popular though on the subject. It would be a good book for Christians as well as non-Christians because it is so simply to the point.

This is not a book that crams religious or faith values down a persons throat but rather objectively shows the truth found in scripture. The author also shows secular research (or "evidence") that corroborates the scriptures.

I will be recommending this book to anyone I know that is considering the decision to live with someone.

Thank you Gospel Light for this review copy.

This was an exceptional book to read. It flows very well. I recommend 'Before You Live Together' to not only couples who are considering living together but also to couples considering marriage because of the tips provided in the book to help with a successful marriage. I read the book in three days. I have previously lived with a mate who I thought I was going to marry and this book hit the nail on the head as far as the results of cohabitation. My current boyfriend and future fiance is now reading the book at my suggestion. The book is not only filled with statistics but with success and failure stories. My eyes have really been opened.

A helpful text. Organized well. Broken down into reasons for, then reasons against. Scripture references are left for the latter part of the text and doesn't detract from the information given first. Viable practical information (backed up). As a parent who once co-habitated (with all the pitfalls) and now looks back, Dave makes it all very clear in a non judgmental tone. I wish I had this book - but happy that my daughter now does!

Slightly disappointing, only shows how living together before marriage is bad and will not lead to a good marriage, if marriage at all.

My take on this book is that it is essentially not very well thought out. There are a couple of big problems:

1. Many anecdotes. Largely irrelevant for trying for being convincing and in this book's case its not even clear if he is making them up or not.
2. Chapter 3 was definitely the most meaty as far as statistical evidence being presented. The trouble is that many of the statistics aren't about the issue at hand. Many of them follow the pattern of, "study X says people living together enjoy Y less than married couples." Reading the sources it becomes clear this doesn't actually have anything to do with living together before being married. It would be relevant if the statistic were that people living together and then getting married were less happy than people who did not live together and then got married.
3. Some of the sources seem contradictory. Not as Gudgel uses them, but reading the sources it is clear he is cherry-picking. For example, one of his sources from Chapter 2 explains that the idea of living together before marriage doesn't effect divorce rates. He argues the opposite point with different sources later in the book.
4. The causality of the statistics is ignored. As we all know, correlation does not imply causality and Gudgel had some genuinely interesting ground to cover in that space but decides to ignore it.
5. The biblical examples at the end of the book are not very compelling. For example, much of the last half of the book is spent discussing Solomon in the context of a man who was rewarded with a good marriage by not living with his wife before being married. Even a casual observer will immediately react, "Didn't Solomon have 700 wives?!" This point is never discussed. Its hard to imagine what the purpose of bringing Solomon into the discussion was. He is hardly a useful example of a modern marriage - either the living together->married or the not living together->married variety.

That being said, the book is short and an easy read. There was very large amount of data presented for books of this genre and for that I give kudos and two stars.

Being a Spiritual person, I bought this book intentionally because it was written by a Pastor. BIG MISTAKE.

This book is written in "Fear Monger" form, and is quite irrelevent to most people. I think you would have to come from a family as extreme as TLC's Dugger Family to find 90% of what this guy says relevant. (You know the family with 19 kids)

The Author does have a few good points, however most these points are not beyond common sense in a good and healthy relationship. When I got to part II of the book, I was just shocked. This guy only cares about one thing, and that preaching his beliefs. This book is not intended to help couples determine if they are ready to move in together. It does not pose any signifcant questions, and it does not offer PROS/CONS, all it offers are stories of failed relationships which he attributs solely to them living together, and there is some advice on who to invite to your wedding.. among other biblical references.

I like to read books from people who are going to tell me something different... which is why I got this book, but I left this book wondering how many 15 year olds he had "Married" because they couldnt refrain from sex. Big dissapointment.

If you want something unbias, keep looking.. You'd be better off going to your local Church or therapist for advice than reading what this wack-a-do's has to say.

I was recommended this book by a co-worker and stupid me, I should have read more on the product details, reviews etc. I do not recall anywhere reading about how much it involves the bible and God. While I'm not against it (God), I was bummed that I spent $10 on a book that just preached "sins of sex before marriage" etc. It is pretty archaic. I was reading along fine for the first 65 pages (which reviewed all the negative aspects of living together before marriage-or just living together for no other reason). Then when I got to part II -was really shocked when page after page preached the sins of sex before marriage, living together in sin, marriage vows, who to invite to your wedding and a HUGE section on premarital counseling with a preacher. What a waste....this is not what I was expecting...

Before You Live Together

I bought this book in the hopes of helping the transition of going from dating to living together with my girlfriend. It's not. It's a totally one sided book about how marriage is superior then living together. There is only one perspective and NO helpful tips. This book is for intolerant christian couples who do not want to live together and want a bunch of Biblical reasons not to.

Besides being nothing that I was looking for, the author begins every story with long extented metaphor about golf, and then loosely ties it to outdated social thought.

Do NOT buy this book, send me a message, and i will send you the book free, YOU JUST PAY SHIPPING!