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Before You Say "I Do": A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples Paperback – January 1, 1997

4.4 out of 5 stars 158 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

H. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and other concerns. He helps couples bring vibrancy to their relationships through counseling, seminars, and more than 90 books, including Before You Say “I Do” and After You Say “I Do.” Norm also reveals insights for spiritual growth, great relationships, and success in devotionals that include Strong to the Core, Quiet Times for Every Parent, and Truly Devoted: What Dogs Teach Us About Life, Love, and Loyalty. Norm and his wife, Tess, enjoy their children, grandchildren, various pets, and fishing. www.hnormanwright.com

Wes Roberts is the founder and president of Life Enrichment and the Kristos Institute. Located in Parker, Colorado, these consulting and counseling ministries are dedicated to strengthening Christian leaders around the world.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 96 pages
  • Publisher: Harvest House Publishers; Revised & enlarged edition (January 1, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1565076370
  • ISBN-13: 978-1565076372
  • Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 8.8 x 11.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (158 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #28,754 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Before I share the reasons for the lower rating, I will share the reasons I think this workbook is solid.
The authors are unapologetically Christian in their perspective, and all of their insight comes from a desire to assist marriages that are pleasing to God. They chose very helpful areas on which to focus, including expectations, needs, roles, in-laws, finances, conflict, sex. These are absolutely critical areas to cover! We especially enjoyed the sections that delved into our individual histories, such as the expectations, "what if" scenarios, sexual history, spiritual history, and family makeup. It was the beginning of some very probing discussions between us.
While I appreciated the general tone of the workbook, I have to admit that I felt somewhat disappointed. My new husband and I have both been independent adults for some time, and we found that much of the work in the in-laws and finances sections weren't very applicable to us. The writing seemed geared more toward a very young couple just starting out in the world, coming almost directly from the parental home.
We both also discovered that the book did not delve as deeply into these issues as we would have liked. The questions that we answered seemed more of a "warmup" to a more thorough investigation of these topics, and we tended to go looking through other books for a bit more substance. After filling out the previously mentioned sections on our personal histories, we wanted some additional direction with the next step, and often found ourselves disappointed that there was nothing further.
This is a good starter book, and a great "warmup" for additional discovery and conversation.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As a pastor, I do my fair share of premarital counseling. And what I look for in a premarital primer is something that asks good, penetrating questions, is steeped in scripture, and challenges the bridal couple to implement the lessons in their marital life. This workbook does all that. I should say that since I'm not really into psychology, I tend to skim over chapters 4-6 rather quickly and move right onto chapter 7. But everything else in the book (the chapters on understanding marriage, childhood backgrounds, the concept of biblical love, communication, conflict, inlaws, roles, finances, sex, and spirituality) is outstanding. Buy this book if you are planning on getting married or if you are planning on doing any premarital counseling.
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Format: Paperback
Before you say I Do is a wonderful tool in assessing whether or not the person you are dating is truly "the one". The chapters deal with a number of different aspects concerning compatibility between people. My favorite chapter deals with the "what ifs" of life and provokes couples to compare how they would handle lifes difficulties.
I have used this tool with a number of different couples in premarital counseling resulting in some wonderful revelations about where the couples were and where they were going.
Use this manual if you really want to discover where you and your prospective mate stand on the important issues of life.
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Format: Paperback
When I was engaged, this book was given to me by a friend who was also currently engaged. She had really enjoyed working through the exercises with her fiance (now husband) and so she passed it on to me. Me and my fiance (now husband, also) really enjoyed this book as well. The questions it asks are thought and conversation provoking, which is exactly what engaged couples need!
Be forewarned though, that this book is REALLY religiously minded (references many Bible passages) but don't let that turn you off if you're not a religious person. My husband & I are not AT ALL religious, but we got JUST as much out of the book (we simply skipped the pieces that didn't apply to us).
I recommend this book to anyone planning on getting married -- in fact, I just sent a copy to a friend of mine who just got engaged.
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Format: Paperback
We purchased two copies of this book. We live 100 miles apart right now and are working on one chapter at a time together. We meet on weekends and discuss the chapter and questions. (We actually finished just before New Year's Eve.)
Many of the items had already come up in our discussion, but this has opened up other areas such as goal setting.
If your spouse to be doesn't have the energy to plan and prepare now, what does that say about how she or he will treat the rest of life.
We have the benefit of both being over 40. If you you are a young person, please take seriously the need to plan. The passion doesn't have to leave, I agree, but you have to plan and do the work to support the long term growth of that passion.
A book like this will help. If you are not a person of faith this book will be of little value to you. If your fiance is not a person of faith this book could be pretty difficult.
If you think YOU can SAVE your finance, then you both need to read something other than this. That is a whole different issue.
After getting through the entire book - I can say that some of the questions are a bit repetitive - but all and all it is something I strongly reccomend for Christians considering marriage.
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