149 of 153 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Well suited for very young couples, April 8, 2004
This review is from: Before You Say "I Do": A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples (Paperback)
Before I share the reasons for the lower rating, I will share the reasons I think this workbook is solid.
The authors are unapologetically Christian in their perspective, and all of their insight comes from a desire to assist marriages that are pleasing to God. They chose very helpful areas on which to focus, including expectations, needs, roles, in-laws, finances, conflict, sex. These are absolutely critical areas to cover! We especially enjoyed the sections that delved into our individual histories, such as the expectations, "what if" scenarios, sexual history, spiritual history, and family makeup. It was the beginning of some very probing discussions between us.
While I appreciated the general tone of the workbook, I have to admit that I felt somewhat disappointed. My new husband and I have both been independent adults for some time, and we found that much of the work in the in-laws and finances sections weren't very applicable to us. The writing seemed geared more toward a very young couple just starting out in the world, coming almost directly from the parental home.
We both also discovered that the book did not delve as deeply into these issues as we would have liked. The questions that we answered seemed more of a "warmup" to a more thorough investigation of these topics, and we tended to go looking through other books for a bit more substance. After filling out the previously mentioned sections on our personal histories, we wanted some additional direction with the next step, and often found ourselves disappointed that there was nothing further.
This is a good starter book, and a great "warmup" for additional discovery and conversation. However, I would likely suggest numerous other books instead of this one, due to their applicability to people in different stages of their lives and a more thorough treatment of these important topics. (e.g. Starting Your Marriage Off Right, The Most Important Year in a Man's/Woman's Life, Love Life for Every Married Couple, Rocking the Roles...)
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75 of 77 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A great, biblically sound premarital counseling guide, July 26, 2001
This review is from: Before You Say "I Do": A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples (Paperback)
As a pastor, I do my fair share of premarital counseling. And what I look for in a premarital primer is something that asks good, penetrating questions, is steeped in scripture, and challenges the bridal couple to implement the lessons in their marital life. This workbook does all that. I should say that since I'm not really into psychology, I tend to skim over chapters 4-6 rather quickly and move right onto chapter 7. But everything else in the book (the chapters on understanding marriage, childhood backgrounds, the concept of biblical love, communication, conflict, inlaws, roles, finances, sex, and spirituality) is outstanding. Buy this book if you are planning on getting married or if you are planning on doing any premarital counseling.
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39 of 41 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A real nuts and bolts Christian marriage manual, May 24, 2000
This review is from: Before You Say "I Do": A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples (Paperback)
Before you say I Do is a wonderful tool in assessing whether or not the person you are dating is truly "the one". The chapters deal with a number of different aspects concerning compatibility between people. My favorite chapter deals with the "what ifs" of life and provokes couples to compare how they would handle lifes difficulties.
I have used this tool with a number of different couples in premarital counseling resulting in some wonderful revelations about where the couples were and where they were going.
Use this manual if you really want to discover where you and your prospective mate stand on the important issues of life.
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