Customer Reviews

Being Brett: Chronicle of a Daughter's Death

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I must start by saying I couldn't put this book down... but at the same time, it was not a particularly rewarding read. The endless littany of hospital tests, misery and physical deterioration seem to be written more as a therapeutic exercise for the writer, rather than to tell the story of this young woman and her illness.

I do believe this book offers wonderful and valuable lessons in dealing with terminal illness: how to mentally prepare; how to have rewarding, meaningful, poignant conversations; how a family and loved ones can begin to cope with the loss of someone dear to them. I lost my mother to cancer 15 years ago and wish, wish I had conversations with her as Brett did with her parents.

But we as readers aren't given a whole lot to like about Brett. Her her fighting spirit, her smarts, her relationship with Beth, her ability to endure, yes. But for the most part she comes across as a self-indulgent, miserable, tormented artist, deep into her moody poetry, journals and bizarre drawings. More upsetting to me was my impression that she never seemed to show her parents -- who endured such terror alongside her, always giving her their undying love and commitment -- any genuine appreciation or gratitude. Her parents were always left feeling like they should have said it differently, should have done more, should have been more sensitive to her needs. She never told them, "You're doing it just right. I love you for the way you are dealing with this. I love you for going through this with me."

And beware: The book relives in agonizing, neverending detail the hospitalizations, tests, misery, pain and setbacks that Brett endured(let me add that I have known several terminal cancer patients, none of whom suffered anywhere near what this poor young woman endured. I also know a 20-something gal who went through a bone marrow transplant in about 1996 with nothing that even remotely resembled the misery and suffering Brett experienced. Her setbacks are not the norm. I think this book could really alarm other cancer patients and their families... please know that it isn't always like this!).

To me, the protagonist heroes of this book are Douglas, Holly and Beth, and Brett's younger brother and sister, all of whom I really loved, each of whom did an amazing, perfect job in dealing with such a terrible experience. I finished the book thinking so much more of them than of Brett.

This is the first book I have ever read that as soon as I finished it I started right over again. What a heartbreakingly intense journey Brett struggled through! I felt so close to her and her family and will forever be enriched from this reading experience. Thank you Mr Hobbie, for sharing your family and especially your amazing daugther Brett with us. I plan to visit her memorial bench someday. I will always remember the joyous spirit of "Santa Bretta".

Brett Hobbie was one of my closest friends. She was a skilled poet, a mesmerizing speaker, and an intoxicating person to spend time with. I felt giddy alive with her and this book almost manages to convey her spirit to those who never had the good fortune to know her. Doug Hobbie has crafted what must have been a difficult book to write: a eulogy of sorts, but also a chronicaling of a life written by a parent with a very keen sense of his child's wit and humor and struggle. A small, quiet triumph

It has been nearly nine months since I read this book and I think about it, and Brett, often. I cannot help but be changed by what I have read; Mr. Hobbie, thank you for sharing your daughter with those of us who did not have a chance to know her. I feel as if we could have been good friends, and I do feel close to her, and to your family, in spirit. Thank you again for your immense generousity.

My expectations were high, as I began this book on a cross country flight -- because I had read others' reviews. They were met and more. This lovely, thought provoking, sad, glorious, funny, wonderful gift of a book is one of my all time favorites. The unique relationship between father and daughter, as well as all of the other relationships and individual characters -- all deftly created in written form -- I can't say enough. Thank you.

Douglas Hobbie has probably done the best job possible in conveying to another human being what the loss of a child is like. I shudder to think what the rest of his days are like, knowing his beautiful Brett will never be there with him face to face again. Even though I knew how the book would end, I found myself hoping again and again that the treatments would work, all their pain and suffering would be relieved. A heartbreaking tale, and yet one that must be shared, so more of the world can have a piece of Brett in it. For Mr. Hobbie, his family, or anyone out there that has lossed a loved one, I would just like to quote Flavia Weedn, "We can't feel saddened over the loss of those we love without first remembering the joy they brought us. The real loss would have been never having had them in our lives at all". Be happy for the time you had with her and the memories you will carry with you always. And kudos to Beth, who stayed with her through thick and mostly thin. Their love for each other shines throughout the book.

Loved it. Although I read this book many months ago, I still can't get it out of my mind. The portrait of Brett is so vivid that it creates an indelible impression on your mind. This is one amazing book...

This true story details a young woman's brave fight with cancer, as told from her father's perspective. Possessing an unusually close relationship with his daughter Brett, Mr. Hobbie skillfully conveys Brett's pain, frustration, and anger as the disease ravages her once athletic body. But more than that, one comes to know Brett as a friend, to genuinely like her, and finally, to mourn her early death. Brett's identity is revealed - her witty and fun-loving personality, her unique sense of style, and her drive to make her mark in the world. A close-knit circle of friends and family form an integral part of the book and yet the figures remain somewhat shadowy, as the focus is on Brett and the battle. Her struggle is so horrific that when one joins her family at Brett's deathbed, we implore her to let go, let go and be free. Her last breath brings relief, and yet the sense of loss is overwhelming. Perhaps in his ability to immortalize his daughter, Mr. Hobbie has found some comfort

Overall I found this book somewhat difficult to read. The author refers to himself as "he." And he refers to every male from his son Nathaniel to various doctors as "he." Most of the time I had to guess who "he" was talking about! Wasn't this book edited?

The more I read, the more disapointed I became. I found nothing to love about Brett. My impression, given the information in the book, was that she was a spoiled, willful, self-centered, selfish brat! I just have to be honest about this.

I am a cancer survivor, but I had several young friends and family members who battled cancer and lost. None of these people acted like Brett. I have little use for people who call God as a witness (take his name in vain)repeatedly and never feel or show remorse and who ironically refuse to believe in God. It is so tragic that some folks wait for DEATH to open their eyes! And how wide their eyes will open!!!!

There seems to be a lack of history. The reader never gets any kind of reason to like Brett. There is never any thing said about why she was a "good" person worth remembering. By the way she acted, I could only see a self-absorbed person. Her parents exhausted themselves mentally, physically, emotionally and FINANCIALLY to be there for their daughter...and yet Brett is constantly taking vacations around the world and having fun. When she gets her $5000 backpay from Social Security she doesn't give any of it to her parents but rather she spends it on a trip to Florence, Italy with her lover. Over and over again the reader is told by Brett that she doesn't want to suffer. And she is so rude to her family by telling them to "Get over it!" She offends her family by having a yard sale and selling family mementos such as a watch that her grandmother gave her and a figurine that her mother bought her overseas. She further offends her family by giving her lover Beth power of attorney. How can knowing someone for a couple of years equal the love and care from a family who has known you from birth? A family who isn't going to move on to another relationship?

I got this book because I am a fan of Holly Hobbie and I enjoyed reading her book, "The Art of Holly Hobbie." I feel compassion for the family over the death of their firstborn child. However, I had hoped this book would be about an heroic death, but instead I found it to be an example of the self-centered generation and world that we live in. Are there no real heroes to write about anymore?

I have not read the book, out of fear. My daughter is age 24 and also has Hodgkin's Disease and is having relapse problems also. I wonder if you could send this to Mr. Hobbie and ask him to contact me by email. I need to talk to someone who went through this agony. I am hoping he can help me and my daughter with his past experience with this disease. I am truly saddened and sorry for his loss, and God knows, I know his pain...but am desperate for a letter or advice from him. Need to know if chemotherapy and radiation are advisable for the second time. First time, didn't work. PLEASE HELP!! I am so afraid to read the book.