Customer Reviews

Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death

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I have scanned the market of books about caretakers and the dying process, and to me this is the finest book available on the subject.

It is cut-to-the-bone view of dying with many personal case stories.

The book is in my view not so well-structured. It is divided in sections, but these overlap, and it seems more like a long association about dying, care-taking and the death process. Sometimes the subject in focus is elaborated and sometimes there is a lot of condensed knowledge in a few sentences.

But it doesn't matter.

You are taken on a journey by this book. It contains so much knowledge (years of experience in the field), so much good advice for living more fully, and so many obvious ways to handle the dying process.

The book describes subjects only rarely found in other similar books - how to take care of the body after death (which can be tremendous healing for grievers I must say from personal experience) and the shadow side of caregiving.

I especially like the description of the dissolution of the elements just before death - indeed what it feels like physically to die - experienced from the inside!

It contains many touching stories, and simple, yet profound sentences of great wisdom - summations of experience from Joan's many hours and years on the bedside of dying fellow human beings.

I only read about 20-30 pages a day to have time to think about and absorb the knowledge in the book.

It is stressed again and again that there are no single good way to die. What the dying person experiences can be so very different from what family, friends, and caretakers experience from the outside.

Each chapter is followed by meditations, which can be used on your own or together with a dying person (well, aren't we all!)

And after completing the book - in the end you end up wishing Joan or somebody trained by her could be there for your own death. And that's kind of a compliment... ;-)

Death is as much a part of life as living, but most people do not fear life. "Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death" is Joan Halifax's explanation why one should not fear death. A Buddhist teacher who has worked with the dying for much of her life, she uses the teachings of her religion to help inspire those of any faith to be better be prepared for what is inevitable, and live for the time they have now. "Being With Dying" is informed and inspiring, making it a recommendation for those who want to further appreciate life.

A friend of mine who is dying of cancer suggested I read this book because it had helped her deal with her prognosis. It helped relieve the rage I felt, especially because I have three other friends with cancer. It gave me a sense of peace and the ability to open myself to their needs and the inevitable. A must have as a reference to help one cope with dying friends.

Healthy, clear, concise guidance, including reflective meditation to care for those who are dying.

At the same time in developing compassion and fearlessness to face the dying, it concurrently provides a guide for healthy living.

Who knows what is most important in life? Those who deny it and live on in ignorant bliss, or those for whom it is already knocking on their door.

This book will give you understanding about dying and death. If you are anxious about the body getting ill and going through transformation from this world to whatever is next, read it. You will learn from a Buddhist Monk who is experienced as a teacher and wise woman. Ms. Holifax writes like you are her long time friend. I feel very comfortable reading about death and dying while reading this book.

We all need to learn more about this mystery of life. We all need to realize we all go through what she writes. And the experience can be good if we learn from her.

I purchased this book when my mother first went on Hospice care. It is very thought provoking and I was fortunate to have some of the hospice staff to talk with about many of those thoughts. However, it is not just for such times: This book can be a great help in learning to take stock of what is truly important in life - we are all dying, just do not know when. I hope when I die I can do it was grace not just for myself but for my children and this book was quite good in helping me sort though obstacles to that goal.

This is a really helpful book with insights about how to approach dealing with people -- including yourself -- facing death. Joan Halifax seasons her text with numerous real-life examples of the kinds of problems that may arise and the approaches that might help to overcome them. This is a book for both the living and the dying, and given that we are all both, it is a book for us all.

I am deeply grateful that I stumbled upon this book. This book was an anchor to me when my mom was in hospice in my home for the last two months of her life. As I was caring for my dying mother, I was also caring for my two month old who my mother had helped me give birth to in my home. Each time I began to panic at the fear of impending loss of my mother, my best friend, I would pick up this book and be reminded of the normalcy and inevitability of death, just as normal and inevitable as birth.

Joan Halifax shares many stories of her experience with death and dying, which I found a great comfort, having not yet experienced death or profound loss in my life. She reminds us that no has escaped death, not Jesus, Mohamed or Buddha. Her writing also helped me let go of any idea or story about how my mother's last weeks and ultimate passing would or should look like. It helped me be more present with my mom and meet her and myself in each moment as we were - in all the beauty, light and love as well as the confusion, darkness and sorrow.

This is a great book, after reading this lovely book by Joan HaIifax my fear of Death has been reduced tremendously, I am more concerned in helping people less fortunate than me. The thought of death use to be an appalling thing to think about. Not just frightening, not just painful and depressing, it was downright paralyzing. This book helped me touch that Divine part that we all share, it is the Deathless, eternal part of us that will never die because it was never born. We ARE NOT merely biological machines produced by the ruthless, pitiless force of chance as the hardcore Materialists will want us to believe, in fact who we are is much more than a body that appears for a while and then disappears. We are Love itself. Love is eternal, Love is always present and love never changes.

Joan Halifax brings deep wisdom and caring to every moment, and this book is one more example of the gifts she shares so freely. We all deal with death and dying, now or later, ours or others, and this wise book will help us traverse the terrain more gracefully.

Honey Ward

www.ExperienceYourPower.com