Customer Reviews

Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits

5 star:		(38)
4 star:		(24)
3 star:		(16)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

About one of Celia Rivenbark's earlier books, "USA Today" cleverly said, "Think Dave Barry with a female point of view." It's a formulation that can't be beat, but I'd add "Southern point of view," in regard to "Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits," her latest. For Rivenbark, author of the award-winning best sellers Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom; We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle; and Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments, a newspaper humor columnist distributed by the Mc Clatchy Syndicate, is one funny lady. In fact, she's the natural successor to humor columnist Erma Bombach, only she's younger and prettier. And, to be sure, alive.

Belle Weather is a collection of Rivenbark's columns. Lucky me, I remember reading some of them in the local paper, "The Star News," of Wilmington, North Carolina; it's her home paper, as it is mine, these days. The paper's star feature writer/book reviewer/movie reviewer Ben Steelman, has just gone to the trouble of counting up Rivenbark's television references in this book: let's just say, among friends, that there are many. Also, many pop culture references. But hey, a girl's gotta refer to something to make her points. And make her points Rivenbark does. She's funny, y'all: and that comes from a woman who has lived here for only three years, is not a Southerner, and never will be. I defy you to get through "Britney's to-do list: pick okra, cover that thang up," without dissolving into fits of laughter. Or try "The difference between cockroaches and water bugs," that explains the southern viewpoint on this important consideration. You probably need to know, if you're a mother, "How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew." Furthermore, Rivenbark has one of the most important ingredients of Southern humor going for her: she can be pretty danged fierce when she's lighting out after those irritating, smug PTA type mothers.

And most female dieters -- that's all of us, isn't it?-- will want to know "Why French women suck at competitive eating:" we do, after all, get those dad-blamed women thrown up at us all the time in our struggles with the scale.

Rivenbark says, "I`d been inspired by the book "French Women Don't Get Fat," which stresses tiny portions of wonderful things. Inside my body, it was as if a real French woman had taken up residence. I imagined her petulant and puny, even trying desperately to get me to take up smoking again. When I was observing the French Women's Diet, I ate like Nicole Richie sans the Vicodin buffet." Well, evidently, if you've been living in a cave, and somehow don't know who Nicole Richie -- or Britney Spears is, for that matter --and aren't sure what Vicodin does, this book's not for you. "Tant pis,"in that case. That's French for "too bad for you," y'all.

My first encounter with a southern humorist was Florence King's book "Southern Ladies and Gentlemen" (availble here on Amazon), back in 1983. I was in school in Washington DC and the book was part of a course on The South Since the Civil War. Miss King (no Ms. for her as she'll tell you: spinsterhood is powerful) had me laughing on the Metro bus; not chuckling mind you, but laughing out loud with her biting observations of her kith and kin. Since then, other people have tried to turn me on to the Sweet Potato Queens and the Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, however Ms. King is still the Queen of Southern humor and the others are simply wanna-be's.

Belle Weather, Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits is my first encounter with Celia Rivenbark. Not as biting as Florence King, Rivenbark's book had me chuckling out loud at work, while I read it. What can I say, it was a slow day at the computer company.

Where as King's humor is based on Southerners and things that make southerners so idiosyncratic, Rivenbark's essays are a bit more universal, but told through a Southerner's sensibilities. These are situations that one could find themsleves in personally, but with a twinkle and wink they are infused with Rivenbark's southern hospitality without being as contrived or stereotypically slathered in southern syrupy sweetness that some writers will use.

And like King, who universally lowers her guns at everyone, so does Ravenbark, who does King one better by turning her keen eye on herself as well. Case in point, instead of making fun of homeowners on HG TV that go and and select the granite for their new countertops, Rivenbark (in the midst of remodelling her own kitchen) goes and "visits" her granite, she oogles the granite and almost begins to fawn over it. Ravenbark indriectly points out that unless you have redone a kitchen, you can't possibly understand this encounter, unless you watch a lot of HG TV and then it makes perfect sense.

Rivenbark takes on gay men (she loves them and is wondered why straight men are more prone to be afraid of them instead of focusing more time on their own cuticles), Super Mommies and school uniforms and the premise of a career as a competitive eater.

OK, so you have probably gathered that I liked the book. I do, a great deal. But I also have read that this book is getting lots-o-great press, and the author deserves every once of it.

My bottom line is that this is a book that you can pick up and read bits and parts of it, but you're going to have a hard time putting it back down to begin with. And having finished it, I plan on going back and rereading the passages that made me snort out loud.

Rivenbark is an enchanting writer, and a joy to read.

I got this is audio book form. It's totally hilarious. The response to other drivers when they saw me laughing out loud in my car is great! I love humorists that can see the crazieness within themselves and others. I am a yankee that has been a southerner for almost 30 years. Belle Weather has a biting southern humor without getting too specific or personal. She describes many typical reactions of situations we all could encounter.
I love her writing and will buy older books too.

I had purchased two early Rivenbark books and really enjoyed them. So, I purchased two copies of this one (one to add to an end-of-year teacher "beach bag" gift that we assembled and one for myself. I will confess that the purchase was almost two years ago, but I just finished it tonight (I did read a little when I purchased it but then forgot about it).

I am embarrassed to have given this to the teacher. The second half of this book is so politically derogatory of Conservatives like us that my heart sank to think that my son's wonderful teacher might think that our family shares in Celia's hate. (Poor Celia apparently jumped on some liberal bandwagon but does not even realize that her dislike of "big brother" on all issues makes her libertarian not liberal as she heartily pushes through the last half of this book).

I found her humor entertaining in early books. I am so disappointed. Earlier books poked fun at the silly absurdities in life, but in this one she presents as more of a bitter intolerant (A-la Joy Behar).

I see that she has a new book out. Should I buy her latest and hope that she has left her politics behind? If anyone has read the latest, please let me know. I find her entertaining when she sticks to, well, entertainment.

Take the anger out of a redneck woman, tone down her cusses-like-a-sailor vocabulary just a tad, but leave in her tell it like it is attitude. Add to that the attitude of a Southern belle, a woman who knows how to get her way with a flirty tilt of her big-hair head while she bats eyelashes heavy with mascara. Mix in a sense of humor and you have Celia Rivenbark.

Rivenbark's humorous musings in Belle Weather may not make you roll on the floor laughing, but they are sure to put a smile on your face. And you'll probably realize she thinks a lot like you, only her thoughts are funnier.

She begins with stories of having her house remodeled, and anyone who's done that knows you have to laugh or you'll cry. Any woman who has lived through weeks of assorted plumbers, carpenters and other working men taking over her home will identify with Rivenbark when she writes about the delicate timing of a potty break when your home is full of strange men.

She then moves on to more everyday family life, including children's sleepovers, Christmas and summer camp. As I read about her experiences as a mama who doesn't fit in with the popular mother clique at her daughter's school, I pictured the television sitcom "Old Christine," where the title character has the same problem. Her husband doesn't escape her humorous scrutiny either, including the couple's experience in ballroom dancing classes, a result of her love of the reality show "Dancing with the Stars."

She has advice not only for ordinary folk, but for celebrities, including Britney Spears and Paul McCartney, as she muses on the success of marriages built on the compatibility tests of dating services and the failure of those built on the philosophy of "opposites attract." She has plans for a dating service based on a "What Y'All Got in Common" test.

She also takes a humorous view of current events, such as the dwindling bee population. She says Al Gore's weight gain was caused by worry-stress over those bees.

If you need to relieve yourself of a little worry-stress, grab a big glass of iced tea, sit down with this funny book, and smile.

Belle Weather has to be the funniest book I've ever had the pleasure of reading! If you are looking for something that will make you laugh out loud until your sides hurt, THIS IS IT!

Before I went into the hospital to have my son, I got this book as reading material to pass the time. There is a lot of waiting around when you are being induced and I loved Celia's other books. Well, I wasn't disappointed. I had to practically wrestle the book from my husband at one point, and even the nurses were checking it out when they came in to check on me. The problem? I ended up having a c-section. If you've never had that experience, let me assure you that laughing is quite painful after a c-section and there are plenty of laughs in this book!

Although I don't think that this book is quite as funny as some of her other books (Stop Dressing Your Six-year-old Like a Skank is my favorite!) this book is well worth the read. Sure, it is obvious that Celia Rivenbark and I have differing opinions on politics, and I did have a few opportunities to roll my eyes at her attempts to be political, but those moments were few and far between and if I avoided everyone with a different opinion from myself, I'd miss a lot of good stuff!

Anyway, This is a great book and I would easily recommend it.

You know I hate when New Yorkers whin. When it is someone from the southern, it isnt whining, it is a full blown hissy fit.

These short essays seems more like slice of north vs south. I would assume by its tone, the south shall rise again. If this audio presenation is any indication, dont bet on it! The humor is dry as sand and the narration is over southern based.

I would wish Paula Dean would have narrate this. At least, she has a nice southern twang

Bennet Pomerantz AUDIOWORLD

In Belle Weather, Celia Rivenbark covers a wide range of subjects from simple home improvements, to teenage sleep-overs, even harvest festival queens (yes, harvest festival queens...). All of this done through her southern point-of-view.

The first few chapters cover her wonderful time she had in the world of home improvement. The subject manner ranges from the not so simple process of buying a new fridge, to trying to find someone that would remove a dead opossum that happened to chock to death on packing peanuts in the crawl space.

One of the highlights of the book is the to-do list she writes for Britney Spears. A few of the helpful tips for Britney are to "lay low", "get sober", and "tend to your business on the home front...". All of this done in a very humorous manner.

This is one of the most clever books that I have read to date. Definitely one enjoyable read cover to cover.

This girl's got it goin' on. Step right up to one of the funniest books I've read in years. She is scatterin' her hissy fits hither and thither and it does not fail to entertain in this hilarious romp of sassy essays/chapters. But guess what? Our girl, Miss Celia, is a true southern fried non republican--now do we want to take on that sure-fire oxymoron!?

Yes, this book was a fun, easy--almost downright lazy, read. I wish you could tell me one other person that you'd rather be sittin' around with--yammerin' one big gossipfest--while sippin' a cold, refreshing glass of sweetened ice tea and snarfin' a bucket of KFC's best. It is all about you, Miss Celia.

OK, that does it for my southern colloquialisms. Now I have to get serious. Yes, I did enjoy this book and its humor--even though I could feel my IQ clicking down a point with the turning of each page. Now is that a bad thing--or am I acting all judgmental? Not at all. Reading this book was like having a box of chocolates for dinner. Good grief, you know there's no way it's any good for you--but it sure is a hot mess of guilty pleasure and fun! I'd say my favorite chapters in the book were the ones with the 4 D's/home remodeling as well as her insightful witticisms on the male gender--gay vs straight vs metrosexual.

Honey, the book cover (picture) alone is well worth the price of admission. Keep it up, Girl. I've got your others to start on and'll be catchin' up soon.