Customer Reviews

Beneath Loch Ness

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(12)

 

 

Up until now I thought that the made for TV movie with Ted Danson was the worst anybody could do regarding the Loch Ness Monster. This mirky mess takes its place easily, hands down! First place! All the actors are awful, the dialog is beyond laugable and just sad, and the creature...oh that legendary creature! I have seen more realistic looking monsters in video games! It is not even CGI quality. (which has become very overused and overrated lately in cinema) There is nothing wet about the underwater scenes either. The so-called scots in the film are not in the least bit Scottish I am sure. Patrick Bergin is Irish, but even he is unconvicing. One of the greatest mysteries in our world is no longer the Loch Ness monster, instead it is how on earth did this get onto a DVD??

As you can guess from the title, this is a sea monster movie. But this one doesn't seem to know what direction to take. It is almost like there were several script treatments that were jumbled together in the end.

The Explorer Channel has funded a study of Loch Ness but the scientist in charge disappears during an earthquake. A new scientist is brought in to finish the story.

The scientist is portrayed both as an incompetent figurehead as well as a knowledgeable researcher.

The assistant bounces back and forth from complaining about the scientist's boorishness and being even more boorish.

The local constable claims that anyone who has seen the monster is a total nut job (even after he has a monster in custody).

In the end we wonder if they will run the story or not, and we really don't care.

There are plenty of nagging details such as just how many hours can the diving gear be operated, sudden changes in day/night, and places where it seems someone edited out some critical scenes.

The underlying concept is one that could have made a great film (I can't tell you without spoiling it) but the odd acting, lousy script, characters with no substance or history, and some very outdated CGI (looks like early computer game graphics) all combine to into one big dud.

If you want a better film about Loch Ness, check out the Ted Danson version (Loch Ness).

I would be hard pressed to find a movie that made so many bad decisions during the course of its running time. Trying to pass off the sunshine and brown mountains of California for the Scottish Highlands was a biggie. The weird antagonism and indifference of the "Scots" regarding Nessie was just goofy: these people owe their livelyhood to the tourists looking for a creature in the lake. And the sight of poor Patrick Bergin showing up with a Braveheart-painted face and a harpoon to battle the monster almost knocked the movie into parody.
Unbelievably bad in almost every way. Will go down as the first horror film in which the monster was overheard saying, "Who do I have to have sex with to get off this picture?"
Was it a mistake to pay attention? I've been waiting for years for a good Loch Ness movie. I'm still waiting.

What's beneath Loch Ness? Bad computer effects, a Scottish policeman who cannot keep his accent consistent (he pronounces the same character's name "Blair" in some scenes, and "Bly" in others), Scottish landscape that looks too much like North America (but the movie audience is supposed to know it's in Scotland because of the Scottish flags hanging everywhere), and actors and actresses that violate every rule of good acting. This is one of those movies that probably got made because someone has the brilliant idea of combining Jaws (a resort town in denial of the terror beneath the water so it can keep the tourist trade going), Brave Heart (Patrick Bergin's character emerges in Mel Gibson's Celtic war paints), and Moby Dick (one person pursues the Loch Ness monster for revenge) into a single plot.

Watch this if you are a film student, and wants to know what NOT to do when directing; otherwise, leave this Loch Ness monster alone, way, way beneath the sea--because that's where it belongs.

ummm noooo!!! thought dimension films put out good movies but what happened here?? the acting wasn't bad, not my complaint. some divers go underwater at loch ness and as their underwater an earthquake occurs and a fault opens up which releases good ole nessy. then it gets terrible. creature is not only fake looking and terribly put together but they don't even show nessy killing anybody, people just turn up dead? simply terrible, surprised it wasn't rated PG. even the snake movie King Cobra puts this creature film to shame which is really a shame. better look else where for a good creature film. BOA even beats this out. to bad, was looking forward to a good loch ness movie, but this failed very badly!!!!

Director Chuck Comisky might have been good with the visual effects mentioned in the Amazon review, but his talents as a director are minimal to say the least. BENEATH LOCH NESS is one of the slowest moving "thrillers" to come along in quite some time and there's just not enough dealings with the monster. Who cares that Brian Wimmer and Lysette Anthony were once married; they're both still pretty obnoxious and self-centered. And why the cliche of the crusty old seaman (this time the ubiquitous but not necessarily talented Patrick Bergin)? The subplots with the fishermen and the web site Nessies is also underdeveloped and nothing really happens on screen with them. Vernon Wells as the constable is so wooden, it's a wonder he didn't have wood lice. The Scottish scenery, however, is gorgeous and that's why a three and not any lower.

Well, i'll make this short and sweet and easy for you to understand then you can make your own decision on wheither you wanna rent, buy or totally avoid this film.

First the story...not bad, but it's about the loch ness monster so it wasn't that hard to come up with a script.

The acting...laughable, can't believe that some of these actors were actually in some good mainstream movies (guess they aren't working enough and need the money)

The special effects...yes,the famous CGI technology that was supposed to be used in this movie, must of been the first and untested version. The monster looks like a nintendo (ok, playstation) character that you have to defeat to get to the next level. If you have to buy or rent this film, get it for this reason alone...it's really that funny!

...Ok, that's all i can say, i don't wanna spoil all the fun for you but if you want to take my advice, AVOID this movie like the plague..it's not what you wanna see, trust me..you can do something better with your life and money.

If your that into The Loch Ness, then go to the library or buy a film documentary!

SHAME ON YOU DIMENSION FILMS FOR THIS MOVIE!!

A crevisse has opened, releasing the Loch Ness Monster...But wait! She was up 17 years ago killing someone's child! Only one of the holes in this awful movie. Perhaps 2 suspenseful moments, spoiled by no good view of the monster. Add to this the cheese of the old 'divorced and still in love' trick, as well as some bad dialog, and we have...Beneath Loch Ness!!!

After renting this movie I was shocked. I realized that it was one of the worst movies that I had ever seen. Every one of the actors are horrible and the monster looks so fake that the only thing scary about it is the fact that it actually was created using today's technology.

I wouldn't even suggest renting this film. Another thing I just can't comprehend is who decided this movie was good enough to be released on DVD.

The movie is dumb and pointless. It starts with some scientists/explorers diving in the Loch when an earthquake opens a fault and out pops Nessie. One of the scientists dies so that brings the main character to the Loch to take his place. Some people are killed by Nessie which you don't even get to see. I won't tell the end because spoiling it would make people miss out on one of the worst endings in cinematic history.

If you're up for it and have the money and I.Q. points to waste, go ahead and buy this movie. Otherwise just look for a better movie to watch. If your in the mood for a good creature movie, try Harry and the Hendersons because it beats the socks off this garbage!

Beyond the nagging technical details there was the matter of accents. Loch Ness is in Scotland, NOT Ireland. For some reason the girls in the pub spoke with fine Irish accents (Kilkenny I think)...The constable also sounded more Irish that Scots, though I couldn't place the dialect. Am I the only one who thought this was odd? The other "Scottish" accents are abysmal as well, even worse than James Doohan's Scotty! Terrible acting, awful script, pathetic CGI (was it even cgi or Crayolas?) All in all this film comes right up to the fine standards we have come to expect from the Sci Fi Channel.