Customer Reviews

Beowulf [VHS]

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(19)
3 star:		(14)
2 star:		(15)
1 star:		(20)

 

 

If you are a rabid fan of ye olde epic Beowulf, and are dying to see it adapted to film, then this is probably not for you. I recommend The 13th Warrior instead. Actually, I recommend The 13th Warrior to any fan of medieval action or fantasy adventure. My endorsement of Beowulf doesn't go NEARLY as far, and yet somehow, in spite of its many glaring flaws, I find this "adaptation" quite entertaining.

This straight-to-video year 2000 take on the ancient tale stars Christopher Lambert as the superhuman hero Beowulf, except this isn't the Dark Ages. Instead, the events take place in a post-apocalyptic future of gears and steaming pipes (a setting that, I feel, was a mistake). It has Hrothgar the "Border Lord," Grendel, and Grendel's mother, but everything else from the poem is absent, and here the similarities begin to wane. As movies go, this is Fortress meets Mortal Kombat (both of which starred Lambert) meets Mad Max, and thrown somewhere in the middle of this techno-gothic realm is Beowulf. Beowulf himself has become a high-flying martial artist (thanks to Lambert's stand-in, naturally); Grendel's mother has become a sexy porn star succubus who seduces Hrothgar in his dreams; and Grendel is your typical B-movie creature with some purple haze surrounding him at all times to make the costume seem more imposing (and, point of fact, it does make the man in a monster suit beastie seem less like what it actually is).

Not unlike the old fantasy flick The Sword and the Sorcerer, Beowulf still manages to be fun in spite of its many failings and sometimes laughable production values (not to mention laughable acting). I still haven't managed to grasp how it can equal more than the sum of its parts, but if you don't expect a film version of the old epic and instead expect a second-rate Lambert action flick, you might have fun also. (stress on MIGHT - different strokes for different folks...)

Though the '98 sword and sorcery film 'Beowulf' adapted from a 8th century Saxon epic poem doesn't receive high marks overall, it does contain everything necessary to attract a sizeable cult following.

What Attracts A Cult Following?
1) Charismatic Hero: Christopher Lambert stars in the role of Beowulf. That will attract Highlander, The Hunt and Mortal Combat fans.
2) Hot Women: His co-star and romantic interest is gorgeous newcomer Rhona Mitra as Kyra. She is one of the sexiest actresses to appear in a fantasy adventure film since Caroline Munro graced the screen in the role of the slave girl Margiana in the '74 film, 'The Golden Voyage of Sinbad'. It's worth watching just for her. (*There's also a brief appearance by ex-Playboy centerfolds' Patricia Velazquez as the ill-fated Pendra and Layla Roberts as Grendal's demonic Mother).
3) Quotability Factor: The dialogue is trite and annoyingly shallow, but contains many quotable lines such as; "I'm not like other men" and "The only thing that stops me from being evil is fighting evil". Quotability is a must for attaining cult status consideration.
4) Monster Aesthetics: Grendal is an acceptable adversary for Beowulf, but his demoness Mother (Layla Roberts) is even better.
5) Music Appreciation: 'Beowulf' contains a strong, pounding, contemporary rock soundtrack to help keep you focused.

OK for one viewing, but not much more unless you're a hardcore Lambert fan or just like looking at Rhona Mitra. On second thought, maybe a repeat viewing is in order.

I love this movie for many reasons, and sure I can see how some people can dislike it because it's not their cup of tea, they might see it as a cheap movie with mediocre acting because they are used to a more mainstream type of a movie while this one is a detour on the straight road of life.

Christopher Lambert is a flaxen hair warrior on a horse yielding a sword in a battle against a man eatting monster by the name of Grendel, which is mysteriously somehow connected to him, while Enigma crossed with the Matrix type music blasts through out the movie. Lambert plays Beowulf who comes to a place called the Outpost, where many troubles are happening, and he volunteers to kill the beast that is running on murderous rampages when night falls. He also establishes a relationship with a young widow and tackles her brother who doesn't trust him.

I'm a huge Lambert fan, he's quirky and odd but his movies are different and simply great. If you enjoy movies such as Conan, Red Sonja and fantasy costume and monster madness then this might be a great addition to your collection. This sci-fi adaptaion of the medieval Anglo-Saxon legend was filmed on location in Romania and it really looks ancient, while the acting isn't oscar material, I appreciate it for what it is.

To call this version of Beowulf mediocre wouldn't be appropriate to the level of blandness that it brings to the screen. There's relatively little to like in this post-apocalyptic recasting of the ancient poem, itself a 10th Century Christianized retelling of an even older pagan myth.

Christopher Lambert stars (which should tell you most of what you need to know already) and does almost as a good job of acting as he did in the Highlander movies, which is to say not that well at all. To be fair, he isn't given much to work with here and neither is the rest of the cast (more on them later.) He pretty much broods around the screen with a perpetual scowl on. He's also very little like the Beowulf of legend. This version of Beowulf is an abomination (I don't want to say too much for fear of giving away the story) and is thankfully a virtual martial arts master as well. Ironically, for all of his talent he is unable to best Grendal nearly as easily as the original Beowulf who in one fight ripped the beast's arm off.

The cast is mostly a joke. It's clear that the director felt that recasting the tale in the future would give him more possibilities. After all, in the 10th century there were few women who liked to put their men to shame by kicking more butt then they could. And they also didn't care to dress with as little clothing as possible. As hard as it might be for our culture to realize, there was a time when modesty was a virtue. Also very rare among the 10th century Danes were black men who's sole purpose was comic relief. But fear not, this movie's got that angle covered. The king is well cast and is mostly sympathetic. But he ends up being part of the largest disaster to come along in this long, sad line of disasters.

Because see, what would Beowulf be without lots of sex? Oh wait, the original didn't have sex, you say? Eh, it should have. And this movie makes sure that you know that it's all about sex. Thankfully, we're spared most of the details but by the end (and again, I can't say too much without ruining the end) it's perfectly clear that no tale can stand up against our sex obsessed culture. Add to this a ridiculous interpretation of Grendal's mother and you're thankfully almost to the end of this garbage. As a note to those who are familiar with the poem, the movie does not cover the final third of Beowulf's story and barely manages to include a horribly mangled version of the middle third. Hollywood still seems obsessed with a "happy" ending and so that is what we get, albiet a shallow and absurd happy ending considering the rest of the movie.

If techno music, overly-choreographed fights re-using the same moves several times, shallow characters, mediocre effects, and flat acting are your idea of a good time...then go and pick this movie up. Otherwise, unless you're a hardcore science fiction fan, you'll want to stay away from it. For those of us addicted to sci-fi, it's probably worth seeing once just to say you have seen it. But after that, there isn't much there.

Put your brain on pause, and let Chrisphe Lambert's best film since the first Highlander, entertain you! Its a strange mix of old and new, and the actions scenes are very comic book in their execution. The only bad points of the film are Rhona Mitra's incredible lack of acting skills, she is the original 'Lara Croft'model, game fans, and the cartoon like CGI monster... Those points aside, if you like movies with big swords, over the top martial arts, big monsters and a pumping dance and heavy metal soundtrack, Anthrax and Rob Halford are just two of the acts included, this just might be the film for you.......

If you want to see a true piece of crud, go rent "Beowulf". I actually saw the video version, but can't imagine the dvd to be any better. In short, it was what you would expect from Christopher Lambert. I actually rented this movie and watched it with my brother on purpose: we knew it would be bad. We just didn't know it would be this bad. Everybody needs a good laugh, and what the hey if it has to come at the expense of Lambert? The acting is truly among some of the worse in movie history. For fans of the series "Mystery Science Theater 3000", I am postive this film would have made it into the eleventh season line-up. It comes across as a strange sort of mix between "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", "Mad Max", and a piece of crap. Lambert has one expression on his face the entire time it seems, one of utter stupidity. There are two "nude" scenes if you can call them that, seemingly thrown in to get a rating, I guess, seeing as they were totally useless and stupid. Waste your time only if you want a good laugh, but don't expect anything more than to be totally awe-struck as to why anybody spent money to make this.

The epic poem that is Beowulf ranks as one of the greatest pieces of literature man has ever produced. When a reader ponders the ideas found within this wonderful work of art the mind simply boggles at the depth and richness running throughout the poem. Glimpses of the old Europe abound in this tale about Hrothgar, Beowulf, Grendel, and Grendel's mother, a Europe of drinking halls, campaigns of conquest, human destiny, and dark monsters creeping through the night. Simultaneously, a reader of Beowulf glimpses the stirrings of Christianity, which would soon overrun all of Europe and put an end to the old ways. Scholars of Beowulf never tire of writing articles and books about this piece of literature and new translations of the work continually appear. If you wish to read Beowulf, and I recommend you do so as quickly as possible, check out the spectacular Seamus Heaney translation. Do not, under any circumstances, watch this cinematic version of Beowulf in lieu of reading the poem. Not only does this movie not follow the epic in any significant way, the film also takes a decidedly B movie approach to the whole topic. "Beowulf" stars Z movie star Christopher Lambert as the enigmatic hero, another point you would do well to consider before popping this disc in your DVD player.

At some point in the future, in a time never elaborated upon by the filmmakers, a fortress stands watch on the borderland between good and evil. The soldiers in the fort, led by a king named Hrothgar and his right hand man Roland, fight endlessly with a mysterious creature who shambles out of the dark each night to claim a new victim. The garrison rapidly diminishes under the onslaught of this malevolent apparition until one day a man rides up to the fort claiming that his destiny involves fighting evil. This man is Beowulf, played with mind deadening woodenness by a bleach blonde Christopher Lambert. The men manning the fort are naturally suspicious of this new arrival, but after Beowulf fights the creature to a standstill the men are more accepting of his presence. In no time at all, Beowulf antagonizes Roland, wins the admiration of Hrothgar, and catches the eye of the king's busty daughter Kyra. The killings continue unabated until the big showdown between Beowulf and Grendel, the name of the being haunting the soldiers in the castle. A further surprise appears in scenes involving Hrothgar's dream encounters with a mysterious blonde apparition, a woman who has something to do with the death of the king's wife and who eventually plays a big role at the end of the film.

Initially, I warmed to "Beowulf." Despite Lambert in the lead role, most of the actors did a better than expected job in their roles. The gorgeous Rhona Mitra did an adequate turn playing Hrothgar's daughter. Charles Robinson, who played Mac on "Night Court," does as much as he can in the role of the fort's chief weapons master, and the actors playing Hrothgar and Roland did acceptable work as well. The set pieces looked better than average for a B movie, as did the armor and weapons used by the characters. The movie starts with a nice fight scene between Beowulf and a small army outside of the fort, and this too gave me hope that the movie would rise above my original expectations. As the movie wore on, I discovered my interest waned considerably. The CGI effects used for Grendel and his mother looked cheesy and uninteresting, and Lambert's portrayal of Beowulf tended to grate after the first thirty minutes. The soundtrack contributed greatly to my sense of irritation. The filmmakers saw fit to imbue this project with a booming techno beat, and used it every chance they got whether the scene called for it or not. Sometimes this music does work, but far too often it distracts and annoys. To keep boredom at bay, I began to count how many times Beowulf executed fancy back flips during the combat sequences. In fact, it seemed that the only thing Lambert's character did after awhile was jump around, strike poses, and mutter cryptic phrases about the evil in the fort. As the final credits rolled, I knew I had just finished watching a typical B movie stinker.

The "Beowulf" DVD is far from a bare bones sort of release. There is a trailer for the film, along with additional trailers for films like "Scream 3." A short behind the scenes featurette is also available. The movie itself looks good for a low budget bomb, and you should still have a good time watching the nice looking women in this movie even if you cannot stomach the lousy dialogue or abominable special effects. "Beowulf" is a must see for those who get a kick out of science fiction cheese films or fans of Christopher Lambert, but all others should stay away.

Anyone coming for a faithful Beowulf adaptation, or in fact anything remotely like any reasonable Hollywood film one has ever seen, is in for a real surprise. I hope you like surprises, as I sometimes do, because after a third viewing I have to confess that _Beowulf_ is probably the best recent example I have seen of whatever passes for unintentional surrealism these days.

Plenty of people who like their genres served whole have complained that this movie looks cobbled togetther from dozens of different films, and that the parts don't sit right together. I am compelled to agree. Never before have I seen a medieval sci-fi horror western martial arts film with a couple of soft-core scenes thrown in for good measure. No other movie would dare to cut from a crowd of futuristically dressed soliders carrying swords, screaming "Kill the Beast!", straight to Christopher Lambert in a trenchcoat on a horse, accompanied the whistle from _The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly_ on the soundtrack. That's as cool as the unexpected intersection of a sewing machine and umbrella on some psycho future guillotine bed.

Depending on your point of view, everything is wrong or a whole lot works. Christopher Lambert is as convincing as he ever has managed to be (I'd pay just to hear him say, "I'm Beowulf" a few more times), the supporting acting is all slightly off, the lead women are gorgeous, and the soundtrack--

The soundtrack deserves its own paragraph. Ben Watkins of Juno Reactor, currently one of the best two techno outfits in the business, basically remixed a bunch of industrial and used a lot of his own stuff to create possibly the most overblown film soundtrack ever--as might be expected, given how much like a b-action film Juno Reactor's music already is. It's less a soundtrack than an entirely separate movie which doesn't sit well along with the all this stuff from _Beowulf_ it has to accompany. Watkins has killer techno going before the fight scenes can even really get underway, leading to the amusing audio-visual experience of hearing his music brought way down on the mix so we can hear the sounds of people walking around, looking out warily for the monster. Not content to use everyday horror shock cues, he seems to have substituted an electric guitar for the usual "woosh" noises, bringing the film into the fifth dimension, without space or time, where Bernard Hermann has no meaning.

So that's that. I don't know if you'd want to buy it. Try renting it first.

I was the only one in my senior English class who loved the epic poem. Several years later I bought a copy of it at a comic book shop.

For some reason, I liked Christopher Lambert, and I thought he would be a good actor for a movie based on this classic tale.

Man, was I wrong!

Aside from the names of the hero and one of the villians, this movie has almost nothing in common with the poem. It's got nothing in common with a good movie. It's a travesty!

The acting, even with a so-called "top talent" like Christopher Lambert, is awful. The setting is almost non-existant, and the plot, ah yes, the plot ....

I knew this movie would reek within the first 10 minutes. I mean, I tried really hard to be open-minded, but it was to no avail.

Spare yourself the pain and skip the movie. Settle in on a dark winter's night by a fire, put on some quiet music, and read the epic poem. You'll be glad you did.

Well I have to state right from the outset that I am biased. I love Christopher Lambert, especailly in these sword wilding smart cracking roles. This has to be the best fick he has done (in this vein) since the original Highlander, and it is rather reminiscent of that title. Following loosely on the Norse fable of the same name, Beowulf plunges the viewer straight into a fantasy world with a technological bent. There are chain swords and hedge trimmer weapons, a huge steampunk-esque outpost, and guys with armour reminicient of robocop. Anyone who has played roleplaying games the likes of Shadowrun or Castle Falukenstien will be right at home here. The soundtrack is awsome (heavy rock and techno bents) and the dialoge and acting are on par with the usual fair of todays mass produced movies. However this is definately a B-grade movie. Not that that is a bad thing. I happen to like decent B-grade fair. And this is quite decent. They spent quite a bit on the sets and props for this show, shame they didn't spend just a little more on the CGI. Now to the bad points. The female leads are reminicent of ex-porn stars, espically the blond playing Grnedel's mother. The women's cloths are designed to hide very little and show off a lot, which turns some scenes into covers for Heavy Metal Magazine! Despite this I give it quite a good rating 4/5, however this is as a B-grade movie. Good beer and pizza movie, ladies might not see it that way. (and now I'm off to buy the soundtrack!)