Customer Reviews

Bereft: A Sister's Story

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Beautifully written, brilliantly conceived, this is an extraordinary portrait of a woman grappling with herself, her sister's murder, and all the unresolved losses of her life. Insightful, heartbreaking, unforgettable.

I was very moved by Jane's story and I haven't been able to stop thinking about BEREFT. She writes beautifully and intelligently. Back in the 60's my older brother was killed in a car accident. Like Jane's family we never talked about it. Even today almost forty years later, we don't mention my brother in front of my mother. I wonder how this has effected my life? After reading this book, I hope to explore my own past and find out some answers.

An insightful personal journey in which the author brilliantly conveys how, in the course of investigating her older sister's murder, she discovers her own repressed feelings about the senseless death, while at the same time attempting to extricate herself from her marriage with a loving, but volatile man. The book is beautifully written in a style which conveys not only the author's personal issues but also allows the reader to ponder such thought provoking universal issues as death, love, family, revenge, grief and rage.

This is a beautifully written story of terrible, searing grief that the author suffered for years and years after the stabbing death of her sister while attending college.......The author stiffled her feelings, as taught so well by her parents, until she felt herself coming apart at the seams and knew she had to deal with it. The book is heart-breaking and wrenching, but I couldn't put it down because it is written with such honesty that I felt a friend was talking to me. The mystery of the murder is inconsequential, but has to be known before the author can know herself, so the book is part true crime and part gut-wrenching honesty. The book reminds me of Change Me Into Zeus' Daughter by Barbara Robinette Moss. I believe Moss is, like this author, a writing professor, and this is why these books can tell of such harrowing experiences in such a beautiful way. Thanks to the author for this book. It is important for all of us to remember that trauma has to be dealt with or it will haunt us forever........

It took a senseless murder and 20 years for one of the "pretend it didn't happen" generation to write the definitive expose of the damage caused by this popular parental adage. It was hard for Martha Bernstein to supress any response to her beloved older sister's murder; so hard she had to change her name to Jane, and in effect reinvent herself. The new Jane is tough, competent, smart. She also is way too successful in pretending away the other problems in her life, including her charming husband's violent rages. On the other hand, she knows instinctively that something is scewed. She resolutely untangles the strands of her life to come to an understanding of what she has lost. In so doing, she becomes a complete person.

In September 1966 Tempe, Arizona, David Mumbaugh stabbed to death Arizona State University coed Laura Bernstein in a mindless act of violence. Back in New Jersey, the stunned parents of the victim immediately decide that they and their other daughter, seventeen-year-old Jane will have to move on with their lives. Thus, Jane never had the opportunity to attain closure.

Over two decades later, Jane can no longer ignore the murder of her older sibling. She needs to make sense of the catastrophe that struck her family. Jane begins making inquiries into her sibling's murder and starts to look very closely at her own feelings while introspectively looking at her relationships with her husband and two daughters.

BEREFT: A SISTER'S STORY is a superb autobiography centering on the long-term effect of a tragedy on the loved ones left behind. Surprisingly, the trip through the mindfields of grief is never acrimonious or accusing, but instead is uplifting and passionate. Anyone suffering from a loss of a loved one will recognize Jane Bernstein's need to seek closure in order to cleanse her soul.

Harriet Klausner

(Disclaimer: Jane Bernstein was a professor of mine. She intimidated the heck out of me at first, but she quickly grew to be someone I respected and adored, and even considered a friend. I never read her books while taking her classes because I didn't want to be influenced by them in any way, or violate her privacy since she mostly writes creative nonfiction, but now that I've graduated, I'm so, so glad I can finally check out her work.)

I read this book quickly, as it is written in a quietly compelling voice and tells an interesting, well-woven story. I doubt if there are many women who couldn't find something to identify with in this story. From losing a sister to a senseless murder, to living with a tough (but loving) Jewish mother, to marrying a volatile man, to giving birth to two daughters, one with disabilities, Jane has lived through an incredible number of challenges in her life. She dealt with some more easily and gracefully than others, but all of them left their mark. Whatever admiration I had for her before has increased tenfold after (a) reading her story, her struggle to reclaim herself and allow herself to really feel her own emotions, and (b) reading her tightly crafted prose, in which no word is wasted yet poetry can still be found.

If I'm being perfectly honest, my interest lagged slightly near the middle of the book, but that was brief, maybe like 20 pages or less. The rest is beautiful and heartbreaking and heroic, and I loved it. I openly teared up on the plane as I read the ending. I was hoping someone would ask me if I was okay, so I could answer, "Oh yes, I'm fine, I'm just reading a wonderful book by an amazing woman. You really ought to check it out."

To read the summary of the plot is to expect a tale about a family murder. To read this book is to find a self-indulgent autobiography, typical of those who believe their every thought is fascinating. Ms. Bernstein did have a tragedy in her life and there are moments when we are caught up in the relationship she lost with the death of her sister. But these are few compared to the endless display of her life events--over miles and years. I, for one, didn't find her life interesting enough to warrant this much type.

I wish the author could give us a more complete picture than the one that developed in my own mind.