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Beside Every Successful Man: A Woman's Guide to Having It All
 
 
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Beside Every Successful Man: A Woman's Guide to Having It All [Hardcover]

Megan Basham (Author)
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)


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Book Description

September 16, 2008
“There is a reason this book is titled beside every successful man rather than behind him. It is about taking the best part of the progress women have made and combining it with age-old wisdom to create a more satisfying future for both you and your husband. The wives who were the models for this book are not put-upon ‘little women.’ They didn’t abandon their own ambitions and desires by helping their husbands achieve theirs. They fulfilled them. Their service isn’t the same thing as subservience—they stand beside their husbands as equal partners. . . . This book is about real women who practiced simple though sometimes challenging principles to help their husbands achieve results that benefited their entire family. . . . What you’re about to read won’t tell you what you should want. It will tell you how to get what you do want.”
—from the author’s introduction to Beside Every Successful Man

“Stay-at-home wife”? “Stay-at-home mom”? In our parents’ day, those labels were either proudly worn or grudgingly accepted, but to nearly everyone they meant the same thing: a woman whose lifestyle involved running the household, preparing the meals, and tending to her husband and kids.

What has happened since? Station wagons have yielded to sport-utility hybrids, technology has arrived with a myriad of new ways to stay connected, and a new army of educated, highly skilled women has reinvented—and reembraced—“stay at home.”

Today’s female “stay-at-homer” tends to be much more highly educated and work-credentialed, which opens up exciting possibilities, chief among them the opportunity to be her husband’s most important career partner, mentoring and advising him to reach a level of success he wouldn’t achieve otherwise.
The unexpected dividends? Here, journalist and researcher Megan Basham persuasively argues that those who choose home as “command central” can expect a stronger marriage, but also—eventually—a higher income. Ironically, passing up that second paycheck frees up time to guide your husband to the kinds of professional triumphs that are money multipliers, creating long-sought financial freedom for your family.

Far from being homemaking June Cleavers, the women Basham investigates are firebrands, with skills ranging from public relations and accounting to executive decision-making. Many have pedigreed educations. While they were in the working world, what these women longed for was not a life of lunching and spa days but, rather, time to reflect and the comfort of being part of a joint family mission. For these trust-their-gut women searching for intellectual satisfaction and serenity, the answer was to help their husbands achieve a professional dream.

To show how it is possible to “have it all,” Basham profiles a wide range of wives, not just those whose husbands (like former Time Warner CEO Dick Parsons and Amazon founder Jeff Bezos) have risen to national prominence, but those whose husbands have triumphed outside the limelight. Each of these women, it turns out, has led a richly satisfying life—partly achieved by assuring her husband’s success.

One of the most provocative and convincing books ever written on the topic of women and work—a manual that, with its precise tips, will speed women toward the balance they seek—Beside Every Successful Man doesn’t just tell women what to do, it shows them how in a way that is inspirational.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Especially for women who want to "embrace a slower-paced, more graceful, family-oriented life" (feminists and career gals need not apply), Basham has created a guide for helping one's man achieve success (and, thus, get one's own in the process). Basham is straightforward and practical (if occasionally overbearing), complete with infomercial-quality promises like "Using your PR savvy to increase household cash flow." Her logical, step by step plan for helping a mate succeed involves locating and supporting his strengths, communicating and motivating, and using your own skills in a "stand by your man" capacity that doesn't preclude stepping up front every once in a while. Basham frequently cites celebrity examples-MSNBC host Chris Matthews, country singer Alan Jackson, the Obamas--to drive home points, but her conservative inclinations will be a turn-off for some. Those looking for solid advice on how to motivate, understand, communicate with and help a mate succeed will find this time well spent, with techniques generally transferable to children, bosses or friends.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From School Library Journal

Gearing this book toward women who want to be stay-at-home wives but feel guilty about it, Basham (The Weekly Standard) argues that such a lifestyle would actually enhance one's marriage. She points out that marriages thrive when the husband sees himself as the breadwinner and that today's college-educated woman is in an excellent position to guide him toward professional heights. She urges wives to give motivational pep talks, share intuitions in a specific (not emotional) manner, go to their husband's business-related social events, and look for opportunities to assist him when needed. Although Basham claims her vision is not a throw-back to the Fifties, a closer reading reveals it is just that, with a little twist of language for 2008. An optional purchase.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Forum; 1 edition (September 16, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307393631
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307393630
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 1 x 9.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,500,843 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

13 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
3.9 out of 5 stars (13 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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17 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Provocative and Helpful Book, September 18, 2008
This review is from: Beside Every Successful Man: A Woman's Guide to Having It All (Hardcover)
I was led to read this book because of the Today show appearance on 9/16, featuring author Megan Basham, and feminist author Leslie Bennets ("The Feminine Mistake"). It intrigued me that Ms. Bennets claimed that
Ms. Basham had "cherry-picked the research" and that her book was a "dangerous fairy tale." After reading the book, my view is that it is both intensively and extensively researched, and that research creates the context for the real meat of the book: the anecdotal research into a large number of marriages where the wife is functioning to exemplify the principles that Basham profiles. My other point about the research is this: claiming it to be "cherry-picked" is the equivalent of conceding the research supports the author's premise. It's sort of like conceding the match point in tennis. Game, Set, Match.

The book is lively, the personal stories informative and entertaining. The design of the book brings any number of helpful resources to the table for anyone who wants to pursue its principles. It's not a book that tells wives (or husbands) what they should do, but what they can achieve in a quest to encourage each other and create satisfying careers.
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Feminists CAN apply this book to their lives, December 31, 2008
This review is from: Beside Every Successful Man: A Woman's Guide to Having It All (Hardcover)
I was offended by the review by amazon that states that career gals and feminists need not apply-- why not? Is it not a feminist value that women should be afforded choices? I choose to stay home and help my husband's career because it is what I am good at and what I love. Does this make me not a feminist? Of course not. Feminism teaches that women are not subservient to men. Well, women are not subservient to the feminist movement either! Staying home and raising your own family IS a career, so why would career gals need not apply? Being a full time homemaker means keeping up with the latest info in your field, setting and reaching goals, and improving skills. That sounds like a career to me!

This is an interesting read and if you liked it, you might also like How to Help Your Husband Make More Money so You Can Be a Stay at Home Mom by Joanne Watson. There are some super helpful hints about resume writing, networking, and other ways in which you can help your spouse succeed in his/her career.

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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Especially Good If Your Husband Is Struggling, November 12, 2008
By 
This review is from: Beside Every Successful Man: A Woman's Guide to Having It All (Hardcover)
This book would be most helpful to a wife whose husband is currently struggling with his career and direction in life (I *highly* recommend reading this book if you're in that position). However, my husband is doing well in his career, and I was still able to learn from the book. Very encouraging and lots of good ideas!

This book really expressed the idea that a wife can make a huge difference in her husband's career. I especially enjoyed the examples of well-known and high-income/high-profile men and how much credit they give to their wives for helping them become successful. (for example, it was Alan Jackson's wife who got his demo tape into the right hands and that eventually led to him becoming a country music star!)

My only negative is that this book went on a little. It could have been a bit shorter and still gotten the excellent message through to the reader.
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